Warning to Gardeners.. Part 2 (The Fence)

I may have mentioned earlier, of trials in the garden
and what a danger weeds and such can be

Well, late this summer I decided I should fix the fence
I'll tell you now what happened then to me

I picked up six large garden spikes had posts all cut to size
and Saturday, at 10am, began

The first thing, cut the thorn bush down, this went quite well and so
to take off all the old planks was my plan

I had to dig the old post out 'twas rotted right away
it took me quite a time I must admit

But finally I had it out, I hammered in the spike
then found I needed different planks to fit

I won't drag out this story friends for here is what occurred
when fiddling with the planks to put them back

I hammered in a couple and reversed another one
and that was when the planks went on attack

I took a step back to examine what I needed next
and stood right on a plank a-lurking there

The plank it had two rusty nails, that went right through my shoe
and that was when the curses rent the air

I spent two hours that afternoon just waiting for the doc
I didn't need a tetanus shot he said

When I got back, I finished up that section of the fence
had supper then, disgusted, went to bed.


I know just what you're thinking, there's a dummy on the loose
you know, you could be right, it could be true

The sun was shining brightly on the morning after that
and me, I still had five more posts to do

Another urgent post repair was down along the side
that was the one I planned to tackle next

So, hammer crowbar all assembled, I attacked that post
methinks those ruddy posts they have me hexed

I dug it out, as I had done, the other one, before
and hammered in the garden spike quite well

but then I realised that spike had twisted in the ground
so it would have to come back out, oh hell

Out came the crowbar and I heaved that spike out of the ground
till I could get the crowbar in the side

I did not need to move it much to get it back in line
a scientific heave to be applied

So in the crowbar went and I applied some purchase, then
the crowbar slipped, I catapulted straight

On through the fence, avoiding nails, by luck not by design
I finished in the thorns, somewhat irate

I think that I was fortunate that one band aid sufficed
to fix up all the damage I had done

I've finished two, there are four more, large fence posts to replace
I wonder if I'll ever get them done...

G.W.H. Dec 95