My approach is based on the belief that self awareness is itself healing and creates change. Through awareness we gain more information that enables us to make decisions, take action and express ourselves. Awareness is also more than thinking about why we do things but more to do with how we do things, and what we are experiencing. This focus brings our attention to living in the present moment, which is what experience is all about. When we think about the past or the future, and most of our energy is taken up in this way, we end up missing out on life because this energy becomes bogged down with what we could have done and what we should do, instead of doing - which is in the present moment. In other words, we are only partially in our experience of ourselves and the world around us when our attention is diverted to trying to resolve past pain.

Awareness, therefore, is crucial to expanding who we are and our experience of life. This is not to say that we can just ignore the past, because to get to a place where we are living more in the present - and thereby being more 'alive' - we need to resolve those aspects of our experience that interfere in the present.

Who we are today is a product of our past experiences, culture and societal influences, and our individual responses to these processes. My counseling approach focuses attention on the ways in which these influences interfere with self acceptance. An experience will interfere with our well being because we have been impacted by negative messages of ourselves or the world and this leads to depression, neurosis, reactivity, and self hatred. We build defenses and self protection in an attempt to deal with the pain of these messages and try to create safety from further pain. However, this becomes counterproductive because it keeps us from experiencing ourselves fully and allowing other more positive experiences to influence us. The more we stop awareness of our experience the more we reinforce self hatred. We may stop pain but we also do not allow joy. So, as we try to prevent suffering, we suffer more.

The process of going from this self protected place to a fuller experience of life is not an easy one as it involves having to accept the unpleasant as well as the pleasant. We live in a society that encourages us to escape our experience through addictions and quick fixes. To be vulnerable is weak and we constantly live under the myth that we can control everything. So to give up our self protection, in the hope that we can experience something better, is a daunting task and take's enormous courage.

From this perspective, my job as a counselor is to support your process of facing the unpleasant experiences that you have worked so hard at disowning. At first people generally become aware of their defenses and ways in which they stop their experience, typically by cutting off their feelings. As this happens they usually become aware of what past experiences these defenses have been protecting them from. Then comes the job of resolving those experiences by facing the hurt that they caused us, which often involves expressing the feelings we have swallowed down and acknowledging something that we needed. In doing this we assert our experience and therefore become more connected to ourselves - more self aware - and self accepting.

In Gestalt we talk about going from environmental-support to self-support. When we are in a place of unawareness and self protection we are more prone to depending on others. This is because the hurt from unmet needs and losses that is underneath the self protection comes from experiences with others in our lives such as parents. Therefore, this hurt is focused outside of ourselves for resolution and we unconsciously look to others to heal this pain which they can not do, resulting in dependent relationships.

Through awareness we acknowledge our needs and hurt which in turn generates more responsibility for our experience. Another very important aspect to living in the present and creating freedom in our lives, is being responsible for our own happiness. Counseling is also a process that moves towards more personal responsibility.

My approach to working with individuals and couples comes out of believing in the importance of awareness and personal responsibility to the process of change and living freer lives. It is also important to acknowledge that everyone's process is different within this framework, and that my skill is dependent on my ability to understand the uniqueness of everyone I work with, and that, this understanding creates an environment where people can move towards self acceptance and personal responsibility.

In this regard counseling can offer a means to expand the possibilities of self expression and create more freedom in your life.