Here are a few jokes, stories, riddles, etc.
for you, and your dog, to enjoy. If you have heard any good ones
lately, please send them to us and we will share them with our guests.
Some
days we just get stuck and bogged down.
But all you can do is smile and wait for someone
to kindly
help
you out of the rut you've gotten yourself wedged into.
How to
Photograph Your Puppy:
Remove film from box and load camera. Remove film box from puppy's month
and throw in trash. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds
from muzzle. Choose a suitable background for photo. Mount camera on
tripod, check flash and focus. Find puppy and take dirty sock from
mouth. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera. Forget
about spot and crawl after puppy on knees. Focus with one hand while
fending off puppy with other hand. Get tissue and clean nose print from
lens. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
Put magazines back on coffee table. Try to get puppy's attention by
squeaking toy over your head. Replace your glasses and check camera for
damage. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say- "No, no outside!" Call
spouse to help clean up the mess. Fix a drink. Sit back in chair, put
your feet up, sip your drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay"
the first thing in the morning.
Two dogs were
walking down the street...
The one dog says to
the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the
street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back
across the street.
The other dog says,
"What was that about?"
The first dog
says, "Oh, I was just checking my messages."
Dog Property Laws .
. .
-
If I like it,
its' mine.
-
If it's in my
mouth, it's mine.
-
If I can take it
from you, it's mine.
-
If I had it a
little while ago, it's mine.
-
If it's mine, it
must never appear to be yours in any way.
-
If I'm chewing
something up, all the pieces are mine.
-
If it just looks
like mine, it's mine.
-
If I saw it
first, it's mine.
-
If you are
playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes
mine.
-
If it's broken,
it's yours.
Dog
Quotes
"The
reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his
tongue."
--Anonymous
"A dog
teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"Dogs
feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in
case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right
in your ear."
-- Dave Barry
Inner
Strength
If you
can …
…forgive any action in the blink of an eye
…be
cheerful, ignoring aches and pains
…resist complaining and boring people with your troubles
…eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it
…understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time
…conquer tension without medical help
…overlook when people take things out on you when something goes wrong
…take criticism and blame without resentment
…face the world without lies and deceit
…find happiness in the simplest things in life
If you
can do all these things, then you are almost as good as your dog.
DOGGIE HUMOUR