When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

Blaming your farts on me...not funny.

Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG That's what I do

Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?

Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ...stop it.

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet...

How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?

I leave poop all over the yard for you and it keeps disappearing

When you are working in the yard and you ignore the ball I keep placing infront of you

When you cut the grass and all my toys disappear

My food smells the same every day while yours has a variety of smells.

Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

The sleight of hand -- fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

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© Copyright graphic by Dora 2002
April 12th, 2002