This web site is all about me coming out and telling the world I have MS (Multiple Sclerosis). I wish to educate my internet friends, friends and family all about MS and how it really is the invisible disease. I was diagnosed (dxed) October 11th 2002. My Doctor broke the news to me gently expecting perhaps I would fall apart. I didn't. I was more relieved that I did not have a brain tumor or something else more serious. My story actually begins back in 1985 when after a car accident I was left with major fatigue, slight numbness to my left side of my body and tingling to my finger tips and toes when I put my chin to my chest. I since have learned it has a name and is called L'HERMITTE'S .

          I also had some vision problems and after some test I was diagnosed with OPTIC NEURITIS. I was then sent on to the UBC MS CLINIC for further testing. By the time my appointment came around all my symptoms had disappeared. The MS specialist did not know what to tell me, possibly I do or probably I don't. He told me probably I don't , "Go home enjoy your life and come and see me if you do have more problems". So I did just that, left and enjoyed my life. Note:" You can have optic neuritis with out having MS". No problems with any symptoms till September 18, 1998 when the car I was a passenger in rear ended another vehicle.

          I did three months of physio therapy for my neck and back. The back eventually strengthened up but the neck is still an on going problem. ( At the present time they can not tell how much of the neck problems is car accident related and how much is MS related) Mostly it was all the other problems that surfaced which at the time I did not know were symptoms of MS or what was happening to me. Since I am not a fan of going to the doctors over every little thing I lived with all the new problems.
          Days just after the accident I could feel a burning sensation in my neck which would travel up into my face. Then the burn also was happening in my feet and hands. This was a major bother but luckily not painful. What I did discover is that I had a new toy that I carried around with me. It was the L'HERMITTES tingle I could turn it on and off just by moving my chin to my chest. And it is very strong. I even have days it turns on all by itself without head movement. Not too many people can say they can vibrate when they want too.
          Most MSers are sensitive to the HEAT. The first summer following the car accident I noticed I could no longer take the heat. We had to install an air conditioner for me . I spent the summer going from one air conditioned atmosphere to another. Soon I could no longer handle hot baths. Heat drains all my energy fast. I become lethargic and start feeling sick. I have to cool myself off as fast as I can. Now over these past few years I find if I over exert myself my body temperature goes up and I tire real fast. Honestly I am really not trying to get out of mowing the lawn.

          So here I can not play in the heat and now this winter I find the COLD bothering me. But then I have never been a skier or winter play type of gal.

          I really did not clue into this next MS symptom. I just thought I was getting clumsy. I even fell down stairs one day. I would go shopping then all of a sudden it would feel like a mini earthquakes was happening. This dizziness was becoming more frequent. I found out that my IMBALANCE is another symptom. Ok, so it look like I have had a few drinks when I walk. I actually have been using Rick as a cane when we go out. I am just to vain at this moment to use a cane and when I do I hope to do it with style. I do take a walking stick when I walk my dog Jake. It's really to beat off the stray dogs. LOL
FATIGUE can play a major role in a MSers days. Listening to how our body feels and resting when we have to is a must. Ok so I get to laze around once in awhile now. Now I just wished the butler would answer the door bell when it rings. James, James , where are you?

          Did you know that some MSers can have COGNITIVE problems? I didn't. I really thought I was going crazy. I started out forgetting small things. I had what I called my "Foggy Days". I was having problems choosing what to think about, look at and listen too. My concentration level was lower. I sometimes could not stay on task. Life at times was like watching a movie and I could not be apart of it. These days would come and go . I had to write lists. My spelling has become atrocious. Some days I am on the cutting edge of brilliance and other days who cares, life is good.

          I was sent off to a neurologist who luckily could jump fast when he checked my reflexes. (MSers have over reactive relexes) The appointment lead me to have an MRI and I writing my poem the " MS Prayer" (found by clicking on My Writings on the menu to your left ). A nine months waiting list to have a MRI and no bundle of joy as my reward. Diagnoses October 11th, and into the UBC MS clinic December 2nd. My four hour appointment turned into one hour appointment only. He told me I was progressive. Progressive what? I had to hear from a legal report that I may be Secondary Progressive. Booted out with no words of wisdom. But I had a lethal weapon. I was armed with a group of fellow MSers who are knowledgeable and compassionate.

          This is where my journey began for acceptance. I also have the most wonderful loving supportive husband who makes me laugh each and every day. He is my life, not this disease. Being the optimist that I am I have looked for the postive in having this disease.

My handicap sticker has come in handy a few times. (note: a friend mentioned how mad he gets when a handicap person takes up regular parking spaces and he has to park much further away, just to find the handicap parking is empty.)

I have a greater understanding of the disabled and more patience. ( When I cross the street slowly it gives the men a much longer appretiation of my toush).

When travelling, it will be I that boards the plane first and you can bet I will be sitting in the better seat. LOL

I have learned that slowing down in life , I get to see more and enjoy the smaller things we all miss when our lives are fast paced.

I now have the time to enjoy some of the things I had on my list of things to do before I leave this earth.

My bad memory is now legal.

And most of all I have found many other fellow MSers who are wonderful. I am proud to call them my friends. ( You all know who you are. Love you all.)

You can find me posting in the Ms Newsgroup under the name Dangerous. One of the most knowledgeable and informative safe places to ask questions or vent.

You can also find me in the MS Chat Room where laughter is the best medicine. Meet some fun loving fellow MSers. Tell them Dora aka Attitude sent you. LOL