‘ATM Instructions’

MALE Instructions:
1. Pull up to ATM.
2. Insert card.
3. Enter PIN.
4. Take cash, card and receipt.
5. Drive away.

FEMALE Instructions:
1. Pull up to ATM.
2. Back up and pull forward to get closer.
3. Shut off engine.
4. Put keys in purse.
5. Get out of car because you're still to far away from machine.
6. Hunt for card in purse.
7. Insert card.
8. Hunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on it.
9. Enter PIN.
10. Study instructions.
11. Hit "Cancel."
12. Reenter correct PIN.
13. Check balance.
14. Look for envelope.
15. Look in purse for pen.
16. Make out deposit slip.
17. Endorse checks.
18. Make deposit.
19. Turn head around; give dirty look to drivers of 9 cars backed up behind honking their horns.
20. Study instructions.
21. Make cash withdrawal.
22. Get in car.
23. Check makeup.
24. Look for keys.
25. Start car.
26. Check makeup.
27. Start pulling away.
28. Stop.
29. Back to machine.
30. Get out of car.
31. Take card and receipt.
32. Get back in car.
33. Put card in wallet.
34. Put receipt in checkbook.
35. Turn head around; give dirty look to 36 cars now backed up behind her and blowing their horns.
36. Enter deposit and withdrawal in checkbook.
37. Check makeup.
38. Put car in reverse.
39. Put car in drive.
40. Drive away from machine.
41. Drive 3 miles.