Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: It's triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago
Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections
Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man
Ugly: He's your best friend
Good: Your daughter got a new job
Bad: As a hooker
Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do
