Eddy M. Elmer: Transvestism & the nature of cross-dressing

Transvestism and the nature of cross-dressing

Eddy Elmer

Personal Article, 1992. Since this article is fairly dated, numerous revisions are being made.

I'm sure we all remember Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as Josephine and Daphene in Some Like It Hot (1959), or even Dustin Hoffman in his role in Tootsie (1982). How about Cary Grant in Bringing up Baby (1938), Barbara Streisand in Yentl (1983), or Peter Cook and Dudley Moore in Bedazzled (1967)? For years, transvestism has been looked upon as a cinematic art, challenging and stretching society's rigid rules on what is and what isn't (female and male, that is). And cinema certainly hasn't been the only leader in this movement. People like Boy George, with his familiar mane of hair; Liberace, with his gold lamé suits; K.D. Lang, with her cute, boyish look; and Madonna, with her Express Yourself attitude, have certainly made eyes open over the years. But one wonders what the point is, if all it does is make people laugh and then look at transvestites as perverts and freaks. The topic of transvestism cannot be clearly understood without first trying to comprehend the roots of the phenomenon. What is transvestism? What are the effects of transvestism? Why are people motivated to become transvestites?

Transvestism is medically-defined as a psychosexual mental illness, "the essential feature [of which] is recurrent and persistent cross-dressing by a heterosexual male that during at least the initial phase . . . is for the purpose of sexual excitement (DSM-III 269)." For the most part, transvestites are sexually aroused by clothing of the opposite sex and/or the wearing of such clothing. Most transvestites are males. Many of them work professionally as white-collar workers, and are in the upper-middle-class income bracket. Quite a few are married and have children. Cross-dressing can be infrequent, frequent, private, or public. It can start as early as age 3, but usually starts in the early adolescent years. Cross-dressers often become incredibly frustrated when their cross-dressing is interfered with.

It is very important to note that transvestism does not relate to homosexuality, in that most transvestites have no desire to have sex with men, and homosexuals dress only as women in order to play the role of the passive partner during homosexual sex. As well, homosexuals are not sexually aroused by women's clothing. Note also that cross-dressing is not transsexualism, as the transsexual is grossly preoccupied with becoming a member of the opposite sex, and will go so far as to use hormone treatments and have surgical sex changes to achieve this. The transvestite wishes to maintain his/her own gender identity. Transvestism must not be confused with fetishism, either, as fetishism involves the obsession with numerous objects including, or instead of, clothing. Transvestism is not sexual masochism, as the masochist will willingly embarrass him/herself in public in order to get aroused, while the transvestite dresses as a member of the opposite sex not to embarrass him/herself, but to become aroused by the clothing itself.

Almost all transvestites share one thing in common: the feelings of freedom and space they get while wearing clothing of the opposite sex. Often, they wish to escape their own harsh, exteriors which are needed in order to be successful. Says one transvestite, Michelle Martin, "I was an Air Force officer and then a policeman. I've always been attracted to women. If I don't [cross-] dress it's like I'm living a half-life . . . I negotiate government contracts and to do that I have to lower my voice, sit with my legs spread and act tough. Michelle lets me get out of that (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." When such people dress in their own gender-specific clothing, they feel trapped, confused, bound up and oppressed. Wearing clothes of the opposite sex brings a feeling of incredible peace to them. Another transvestite quietly says, "I feel as if I have been violated and subjugated and as if I were taking flight on all sides in some measure into my own ego, to escape the circumstances . . . However, it's when I see myself in a woman's costume I become totally peaceful . . . My entire organism functions with more balance; it is like resting after being very tired, like coming home to the entire individuality of the woman (Hirschfeld 125)."

Stemming from this new feeling of freedom and peace, the transvestite, voluntarily or involuntarily, will experience what he/she never could before: "a good orgasm." For many of them, the mere sight, not to mention the touch and feel, of the clothing of the opposite sex, particularly undergarments, nylon stockings, and shoes, is enough to provoke orgasm. It is the femininity connected with the clothing that is arousing. Many times, the male, for example, will stand in front of the mirror, looking at his female attire, get an immediate erection, and have an orgasm, all without any sexual contact whatsoever. Other times, there is the need to masturbate, and sometimes, there is the incredible urge to have intercourse with the opposite sex. Says another transvestite, "My sensuality in the first place is directed toward the satisfaction of the desire to get dressed in costume . . . However, whenever I have any piece of women's clothing on, I immediately become sexually excited and, at the same time, yearn for a certain kind of woman (Hirschfeld 140)." Sometimes, the mere name of a piece of clothing is enough to arouse a cross-dresser: ". . . names of specific pieces of clothing, such as a woman's dress, pinafore, veil, slip, had something magical about them for me (Hirschfeld 127)."

But dressing in clothing of the opposite sex is not the only "symptom" related to transvestism. Often times, cross-dressers will participate in activities commonly associated with the opposite sex. For example, men will knit, crochet, and do housekeeping, while women will prefer to do repairs around the house, fix cars, and build things. According to one transvestite, who is a full-time writer, "All my secondary tendencies are directly feminine. I like all work that belongs to the realm of the woman, and certainly this work is right in front of me every day; my wife confirms it for me daily, and it also is clearly manifested in our home in that I relax in the kitchen and housekeeping diverts me from my career's fatigue (Hirschfeld 128)." Many male transvestites also enjoy "hanging out with the girls," as well, as then they are completely surrounded with femininity. Also, placing themselves in environments of the opposite sex allows them to take on the persona of that sex. Men, for example, will create boudoirs and toilettes for themselves, often spending much time in there putting on make-up and fitting hair pieces.

But how far can they go, many people ask, when they hear the stories of transvestites so anxious to become as feminine as they possibly can?

Many transvestites want so much to take on the persona of the woman that they actually quit their high-powered jobs in favour of much lower-paying jobs typically belonging to the opposite sex. Men may favour pursuing careers in nursing, housekeeping, even hair-dressing, and in rare cases, prostitution. Others will wish to stay in the executive field, but doing work typically assigned to female secretaries and assistants: "I don't want to compete. I don't want to get involved in the male power games and climb that greased pole all my life. Men pay a price to stay in that role . . . I'm confident in my work skills. I have knowledge that nobody else does [at our company]. When I am a woman, I have the wisdom to enjoy life. I'm more me (Hirschfeld 300)."

It can even go as far as wanting to experience the actual joy of giving birth and raising children: "I secretly went to the unlocked kitchen . . . took some milk out of the pot with a teaspoon and dripped it onto my nipples to give myself the illusion of being a mother giving suck (Hirschfeld 92)." One transvestite vividly describes a dream he had in which he went into labour and gave birth to a young baby boy. Although, as mentioned, transvestites don't wish to change their gender completely, the femininity associated with child birth and child-rearing is very attractive.

But as odd as it may all seem, families of transvestites can be very supportive when they need to be.

Wives often help their husbands buy clothes and put on make-up in exchange for gratification in all other parts of the marriage, including sex. "These aren't men who beat their wives," says Dr. June Reinisch, director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, in Bloomington. "They appreciate femininity. They make good husbands (Indianapolis Star H1)." Children often accept transvestism faster than spouses, and rarely make a big issue out of cross-dressing. Joanne White's wife says, "I don't have any problem with it. I was raised to be accepting of others, to judge them by their inner worth. Also, as an emergency room nurse, there isn't much I haven't seen. Plus, I've always had a strong sense of my own self worth (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." Her daughter shrugs and says, "Whatever floats your ship, Dad (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)."

However, there are times when the support just isn't there, and a price has to be paid for this new-found freedom and reservoir of electrified sexual excitement.

Perhaps walking through the mall with some other cross-dressers is relatively painless, but there aren't too many other places for cross-dressers to go out and have a good time. Why? Because wherever they go, they are hit on by other men who don't know any better. And not only are they hit on by those who don't know their true identity, but they're hit on by homosexuals who think that those who cross-dress are simply trying to attract other gays and play the role of the passive, feminine partner during homosexual sex. Rarely do most cross-dressers ever get involved with any of these people, however. Says Roxanne De Lyon, an electrical engineer who dresses as the typical "sexy office girl," "Yeah, sometimes a guy will come on to me and I make like I'm flattered. But if he comes on stronger, I tell him straight out I'm not into guys (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." Angela Gardner, another transvestite, says, "What I'm thinking is, 'I don't want you. I want your girlfriend.' But one time I let a guy pick me up at a queen club and took him back to my apartment . . . It was a disaster. What I got was a hairy, sweaty blob. I'm thinking, 'this isn't my fantasy (Philadelphia Inquirer L1).'"

So, not only are regular bars completely unfavourable to cross-dressers, but so are gay bars, as well. For those cross-dressers who feel they can handle the bar scene, however, it's not the abundance of sex-hungry men that turns them away, but the bars themselves. The majority of gay bars will not allow cross-dressing patrons, as the regular customers all "have their comfort levels (Indianapolis Star H1)." The question of discrimination is one of great controversy...

But even greater problems exist for transvestites right on the homefront. Many cross-dressers, for fear of losing their spouses and children, keep their illness a secret. Many people with transvestite partners feel their own sexual identity is distorted and cannot cope with the idea that they may no longer be sexually attractive to their spouse. Many times, the non-transvestite spouse will feel as if he/she is "competing" with a third person in the marriage. One transvestite's wife says, "I thought he was losing his commitment to our relationship . . . I felt threatened for a while because [I was] dealing with another woman, in a sense." For children, the news that their father is a cross-dresser means they might be "freaks," as well. "You don't expect me to be that way, do you (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)?" asked 47-year-old Joanne White's son.

Many people who decide to admit once and for all their cross-dressing, feel as if they have just lost a spouse, and so secretly try to find new-found love and companionship. It is not uncommon to find in many transvestite magazines ads which read, "Wife objects to my cross-dressing so I seek a sympathetic and supportive woman . . . Age 81, retired physician. Cross-dresser for more than 65 years. Now an old lady and contented homebody. My dear wife . . . takes no joy in my seeking of a feminine image (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)."

Breaking the news to parents can also be heart-wrenching, especially when they can be completely close-minded as to the way a child feels. "[Parents]. They're old, they're Christian fundamentalists and they would have me dead in the streets of AIDS. And I can't see them in the summer because I shave my body hair. Once my mom noticed my eyebrows were plucked. I told her I did it because they were growing together in a mono-brow. But she bugged me about it for three weeks (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)."

Transvestites must also be very careful so as not to be noticed by the wrong people. Being noticed by friends and neighbours can mean not only never-ending embarrassment, but also news to employers and co-workers, who can easily dismiss such "perverts." "I had to walk a block and a half to my car," says Joanne. "I was so scared. I felt it with every passing car. Oh God, they can tell. Oh God, this one has got me for sure (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." Another transvestite winces when she says, "The worst thing that can happen to you is to get caught in a line at the supermarket. Because what do they do in those lines? They look at each other (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." Many transvestites have forced themselves to live a double life, in order to avoid friends, neighbours, co-workers. At work, they dress according to their own gender, and they reserve cross-dressing for the comfort of their own bedrooms or other people's homes.

It's this type of stigma that can lead the transvestite into complete desolation.

As a result of this, many transvestites go on "purges." During purges, they, in a frenzied rage, throw away all of their female clothes, often burning them or dumping them into a river, and then embark on a super macho trip, whereby they try to gain the masculinity they think will "make them normal" again. However, these purges do little except incite more feelings of guilt, forcing the cross-dressers to finally accept the fact they're transvestites and finally start admitting to people around them who and what they really are. It can be a very difficult, painful experience, and for many, can backfire in their faces, leading to suicide. Those who admit their true sexual identity amidst an uncaring community are almost sure to feel completely isolated and condemned for being themselves.

So having said all this, the common question that is raised is, "Why are they like this?"

There is no one single, correct reason. Rather, the reasons are, for the most part, unknown, and when they are known, vary dramatically from one person to the other. There are, however, six main causal categories within which a large number of transvestites fall. These range from childhood association between sex and clothing, to abuse, to the need to take on the personality of a close relative.

One cause of transvestism is based on the idea that each person's sexual identity is shaped from the minute he is born. Through example and experience, he learns connections between certain objects and behaviours. Food is associated with hunger; beds are associated with sleep; trucks and dolls are associated with playing and pleasure; clothing is associated with fashion, and so on. However, there are many people who, for unknown reasons, develop different linking relationships. Often times, certain pieces of clothing of the opposite sex, especially things like underwear, stockings, and shoes, are connected to sexual behaviour. As these children get older, looking at these articles of clothing seems to develop into an obsession, or a fetish. While other people can look at such articles of clothing as just that, articles of clothing, many cannot consciously see any other connection except a sexual one. In later years, the need to release sexual anxiety will focus around the closest means of arousal: clothing of the opposite sex. To these people, sexual gratification is reached faster by wearing women's underwear while looking in the mirror, than by direct masturbation.
Another major cause of transvestism stems from being dressed in the clothes of the opposite sex in the very early childhood years. Although many children, again for unknown reasons, enjoy being dressed up in clothing of the opposite sex, and grow up with this preference, many other children resent it. As they get older, they turn this seemingly traumatic experience into a fantasy, trying to attach to it a connection with sexual gratification. As traumatic thoughts of being cross-dressed as a child come to consciousness, the person automatically dresses up as a member of the opposite gender, quickly relates sex to the experience, often HAS sex, and for the time being, does not feel traumatized by the memories of the childhood events.

But, causes of transvestite personalities can often be much more complex and often incredibly bizarre.

There are those people who, for some reason or another, have a great appetite for sexual intercourse with the opposite sex, but, not being able to find enough gratification with their own spouses, develop the desire to acquire more femininity in their lives. Certain men, for example, will simply have an affair with another woman, but the transvestite will, being very faithful to his wife, look for his own feminine persona (by dressing as a woman), and combine that femininity with that of his wife, creating "lotsa woman." In a way, it is as if there are three people involved in sexual intercourse when the transvestite is involved. Says one transvestite whose habit stemmed from this cause, "I've always been a leg man. When I found out I had great legs I was in heaven (Philadelphia Inquirer L1)." The sexual desire afforded by his own feminine qualities, his wife's, and his own male qualities, made intercourse more exciting than ever before.

It must be noted, however, that certain causes of transvestism are not necessarily sexually-based, but are rather emotionally-based. Even though transvestism is based mainly on sex, emotional drives are included with diagnoses of the illness because the cross-dressing, even though not initially intended for sexual reasons, develops sexually later on. Often, sexual personas must be adopted in order to compliment the initial cross-dressing drives, and other times, they just seem to happen for no apparent reason. It should also be noted, in keeping with the definition of transvestism, that even though the adoption of new sexual personas in certain cases is made subconsciously for purposes other than sexual gratification alone, the subconscious seems to focus on the new personas primarily for sexual reasons after they is triggered.

Such is the case when transvestism is used as a means to escape thoughts of abuse. One transvestite recounts being abused emotionally by his father when he was young. Years and years of abuse left him with the impression that men, for the most part, are loud, over-bearing, abusive people who care for nobody. Partly to escape the traumatic memories of his father's abuse, and partly to avoid turning into his father and abusing his own children, this young man wanted to transform himself into a woman by way of cross-dressing, in order to take on a more gentle, caring, understanding persona. Even though, however, he may not have intended to take on the sexual characteristics of a female, he was ultimately forced to, without even knowing it, as he needed to embody the true femininity of a woman. The sexuality was linked to his clothing.

Certain people, especially females, will dress up in clothing of the opposite sex in order to avoid being harassed for exhibiting their gender-typical features. For example, a woman will dress up in male clothing and take on a very male persona in order to avoid being "cat-called" when walking down the street past a group of seemingly "sex-hungry" males. One transvestite female says her entire life was so miserable as a woman as she was constantly being scrutinized by men because of her body. Often times, women would not leave her alone, either, complaining of her seemingly slim, fit figure. Not wanting to be treated like an object, and not wanting to compete with other women, she simply turned herself into a man by way of her clothing, and claimed she was never before happier in her entire life. However, as she dressed more and more as a man, her own sexual characteristics started becoming more male, and this started becoming a cause of her transvestism. For some reason, her sexuality became linked with the clothing.

Although much more infrequent than the others, cross dressing as a means of "tapping into" somebody else is not a rare cause. There are many people, who, having lost various friends or family members to death, feel they are going to lose another person if they don't do something to "intervene." What these people will do is try to control the life of the person whom they fear will die by turning into and trying to experience the same life as that person. The transvestite will dress up as his sister, for example, and try do everything that he wants her to do in order to save herself from death. As with the above example, a link develops between female sexual characteristics and the clothing involved.

In closing, we can define transvestism as a psychosexual mental illness, related to the recurrent and persistent cross-dressing by a heterosexual male, that during at least the initial phase is for the purpose of sexual excitement. For the most part, transvestites are sexually aroused by clothing of the opposite sex and/or the wearing of such clothing. Most transvestites are males. Many of them work professionally as white-collar workers, and are in the upper-middle-class income bracket. Quite a few are married and have children. Cross-dressing can be infrequent, frequent, private, or public. Transvestism does not relate to homosexuality, transsexualism, fetishism, or sexual masochism. Symptoms or "effects" related to transvestism include feelings of freedom and space while wearing clothes of the opposite sex, and sexual arousal caused by the wearing, sight, touch, or thought of clothing of the opposite sex. There is a tendency to participate in activities usually associated with the opposite gender, as well as a desire pursue careers typically pursued by the opposite sex. Men will often have the desire to experience child birth and take a more active role in child-rearing. Spouses and family members can be very supportive at times, in exchange for a loving relationship from the cross-dressers. However, cross-dressers are faced with many problems, including being "hit on" by males and being kicked out of bars. Sometimes, family members cannot handle the illness, and families break up. Social stigma towards this illness can cause many transvestites to be fired from their jobs. Not being able to handle all the stress, some cross dressers throw away all their clothes and go on a macho trip (purge), and some even commit suicide. Causes can include childhood associations between sex and opposite-sex clothing, and the need to alleviate painful memories of being cross-dressed as a child by turning them into sexual fantasies. As well, cross-dressers may feel they are adding femininity in their relationships. Escaping from abuse, alluding harassment from people of the opposite sex, and trying to become an active part of someone else's life for fear of their death or some other traumatic event, are other causes of transvestism.

It is hoped that by understanding the reasons behind certain human behaviours, such as transvestism, we are less tempted to look at such people as "sick perverts," and are more inclined to realize we could have turned out the exact same way. Only when society as a whole can look at transvestism as a mental condition and not as a "horrible sin," will we be able to help these people who, by their very actions, are trying to reach out to those people they feel might be able to help them.

REFERENCES

DSM-III
br> (Bibliographical Information Pending).

Garber, Marjorie. Vested Interests. New York: Routledge, Chapman and Hall, Inc., 1992.

Hirschfeld, Magnus M.D. Transvestites: The Erotic Drive to Cross-Dress. Buffalo: Prometheus Books, 1991.

Niederpruem, Kyle. "Cross-Dressers Seek Society's Acceptance." The Indianapolis Star. November 26, 1989. pp. H1+.

Speers, W. "Cross-Dressers Cross Paths." Philadelphia Inquirer. March 21, 1993. pp. L1+.

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Eddy M. Elmer