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Teen Stress
EFT for Twelve Stress-Laden Scenarios For Teens
Use this pattern while tapping the little finger
side of the palm, the
karate chop point:
“Even though +
Problem or Emotion Statement
+ Positive Affirmation of Self- Acceptance
or Empowerment.”
You can
then use a portion of the statement as your reminder phrase and tap
through
the following points while saying for example, ``I want to be
loved by
everyone`` while tapping (about 7 times each). on the top of the
head, between the eyebrows, the
side of the eye, under the eye on the bone, under the nose, under lips,
at the
collarbone, and under arms in the area of a woman`s bra. The
words below are suggestions to get you
started. Your own teen`s situation may require different wording or be
about a different
event entirely. Go with it.
1)
My
daughter is being treated badly by girls in her class.
Even though those
girls say mean and
hurtful things about me, I accept myself anyway.
Even if some of
the things they say may be true,
and that’s
what hurts me the most, I accept myself anyway.
Even though I want
everybody to like me, I accept myself anyway.
Even though I need to
be loved by everyone, I accept myself anyway.
Even though those girls
don’t have any love for me, I accept
myself
anyway.
Even though they don’t
love themselves, I accept myself anyway.
Even though they don’t
know how to love, or think about anyone
but themselves,
I accept myself anyway. I know I am a good person and that I have a lot
to
offer. I know how to be nice, at least.
2)
My son
has to give a short speech on a topic in his Social or Language Arts
class.
Even though I am
terrified of speaking in
front of the class, I am okay.
Even though I am afraid
of looking and sounding like an idiot, I accept
myself.
Even though I might
forget what I was going to say, and that would be
terrible
and embarrassing, I accept myself, anyway
Even though the kids
laughed at me when I gave that other speech, I
accept
myself.
Even though the girl I
have a crush on
will be watching me fall on my fac, I accept myself, anyway.
Even though I have to
get a good mark, I accept myself, anyway
Even though I am afraid
people will laugh at me. I accept myself, anyway.
Even though I messed up
the last time I tried to speak in front of my
class, I
am okay with that, knowing that I will do a good job this time.
Even though I haven’t
practiced my speech enough to feel confident
about it, I
accept myself, I forgive myself and I know I’ll just have to do my
best. That’s
all I can do.
3)
My
daughter is getting a pimple the day before graduation.
Even though I’m getting
a pimple and this
is the end of the world, I accept myself.
Even though my skin
really sucks, I accept myself.
Even though I’m going
to die of embarrassment because of this huge
pimple on my
face, I accept myself.
Even though that boy I
like will never want to date me now, I accept
myself
anyway.
Even though this pimple
really bugs me and I can’t stop picking at it,
I accept
myself anyway.
Even though this pimple
is the hugest, ugliest pimple I have ever seen,
and
nobody else has ever had such a huge and ugly pimple, I accept myself,
anyway.
Even though this pimple is covering my whole face, I accept myself.
Even though my friends
are all going to dump me over this huge pimple,
I accept
myself anyway.
4)
My
daughter hates her math teacher.
Even
though Mr. Smith is creepy. , I
accept myself.
Even though he doesn`t
know how to teach, I accept myself.
Even though he thinks
I`m stupid and lazy, I accept myself.
Even though he only
teaches the boys, I accept myself.
Even
though__________________________________, I accept myself.
5)
My
daughter has just been dumped by a guy she really likes.
Even though my heart is
broken, I accept
myself.
Even though I will
never get over this heartbreak
Even though I am really
hurt and angry about being dumped, I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though he’s the
only guy I ever loved and I will never get over
him, I
accept myself.
Even though I really
hate him for dumping me I accept myself, anyway.
Even though I’m so
angry I could spit, I accept myself.
Even though nice girls
like me don’t get angry, I accept myself, anyway
6)
My
son
wants to ask a girl out on a date, but he is sure that she will say
“No”.
Even though I really
like Kayla and I am
afraid of her rejection, I accept myself anyway.
Even though Kayla is so
pretty and I am not that hot, I accept myself
anyway.
Even though Kayla is
too good for me and I am not sure if she even
likes me, I
accept myself, anyway.
Even though I am sure
that she will turn me down when I ask her out for
a
coffee after school, I accept myself.
Even though she will
turn me down when I ask her to go to grad, I
accept
myself.
Even though I am not
sure what to say to her, I accept myself.
Even though I am
uncomfortable with the idea of talking to any girl,
but
especially Kayla, I accept myself.
Even though
_______________________________________________ , I accept
myself
7)
My
son
has test anxiety.
Even though I am
terrified of failing
this test and maybe this course, I accept myself.
Even though our teacher
says this is a really hard test, I accept
myself.
Even though I don’t
understand the material that I’m being tested on, I
accept
myself.
Even though I might
panic and forget everything as soon as I sit down
to the
test, I accept myself.
Even though I hate this
subject, I accept myself.
Even though I’m not
very good at this subject, I accept myself.
Even though I haven’t
done well with this subject, I accept myself.
Even though I don’t
know how to study this for this test, I accept
myself.
8)
My
mom is
fed up with the state of my bedroom.
Even though I
wish she would just leave me alone, I accept
myself.
Even though it`s my room and she
shouldn`t care how it looks, I accept
myself.
Even though it`s none of her
business, how I treat my clothes, (even if
she did
buy them), I accept myself.
Even though, I want to keep her
from snooping through my stuff, I
accept
myself.
Even though, it`s not safe for me
to have a tidy room, I accept myself.
Even though my mess is a good way
to protect my privacy, I accept
myself.
9)
I
need to
get more money.
Even though I don`t have enough
money to have fun, I accept myself.
Even though I can`t think of a way
to make more money, I accept myself.
Even though I don`t have time to
get a job, I accept myself.
Even though mom and dad say that
school comes first, I accept myself
and I
forgive them for keeping me poor; even though they are doing what they
think is
right, I accept myself and I forgive them.
10)
My
dad wants me to
do more work around the
house.
Even though I
wish he would just get off my case, I accept
myself.
Even though he is getting so cranky
these days, I accept myself.
Even though he worked hard as a kid
and so he thinks we should too, I
accept
myself.
Even though Dad is being
unreasonable asking me to do more, I accept
myself,
and I forgive him.
Even though I get home tired and
need to relax, just playing video
games, talking
to my friends and watching TV, I accept myself.
Even though I want to enjoy life
and let mom and dad clean up after me,
I
accept myself.
11)
Mom
won’t let me
do anything.
Even though mom is so totally
unreasonable, I accept myself.
Even though I can`t stay out as
late as my friends can, I accept myself.
Even though I cannot listen to my
own music as loud as I really want
to, I
accept myself.
Even though my friends’ parents are
cooler than my own parents, I
accept myself.
12)
My parents are
control freaks.
Even though my parents have to know
every little detail of my life, I
accept
myself anyway.
Even though I wish I had some
privacy, I accept myself anyway.
Even though my parents don’t trust
me, I accept myself anyway.
Even though I feel like I am in a
prison, I accept myself.
Even though my parents are so lame,
I accept myself and I might forgive
them
some day.
Even though I will be a much better
parent than my own parents, I
accept myself
and I forgive them.
Even though my parents are worse/
more embarrassing/ more unreasonable/
than
anyone else`s, I accept myself, anyway
Even though I am doing my best to
show them I am honest and responsible
and it
doesn’t seem to matter, I accept myself.
13)
________________________________________________________________________________
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
Even though
____________________________________________ I accept
myself,
anyway.
I was thinking of writing an article
outlining how clients could best prepare for their sessions with me
when I came across this article by Nancy Morris. I could not have said
it better (MT).
How to get
the most out of your EFT session
I
know money is tight for a lot of people and I have found that EFT
sessions can be so much more productive if a client is fully
prepared.
Much more can be accomplished on very specific issues with some
forethought. This article is for anyone who wants the most "bang
for
their buck" when it comes to EFT sessions.
Prior
to an EFT phone consultation I always send clients the following list
of things they can do to get the most out of our sessions:
Prior to our phone appointment, prepare yourself and
your
surroundings:
- Have water nearby in case you get thirsty.
- Make sure you have privacy and will not be disturbed by
children,
pets, etc.
- Shut off telephone ringers/answering machines (for quiet).
- Shut
off & set your cell phone aside (electrical signals aren’t good).
If you must use a cell phone, use the ear bud and keep the phone
off
your body.
- Shut off your computer (or move a good distance away from
it).
- Remove your watch and any jewelry that may get in the way.
- Have paper and pen handy to jot down homework notes (if you
want
this).
Prior
to calling me for our session, take a few minutes to center yourself
and clarify your intention to spend this time attending only to
yourself, free from all other distractions. Your awareness of
your
feelings and thoughts and your willingness to speak up about whatever
comes up for you will give us the best possible results from our
session. Our session is completely confidential.
AN EXAMPLE:
While working with a client recently, I realized that the way she came
to our phone consultations prepared with her issues allowed us to make
much better use of our time (and her money) to get results for her and
quickly as possible. It became clear that she did some deep
introspection prior to our first session. She had done EFT on
herself
regarding these issues and already knew from her own experience where
she’d run into stumbling blocks.
At our initial phone
consultation, her stated desire was to “improve her sex life”.
That’s
a very general statement and we could’ve spent quite a while getting to
tappable issues in our first session. But, she had thought about
this
and already knew that she felt like she “had a brick wall” around her
and that she “didn’t feel feminine or attractive”. We worked on
these
areas in the first session until she felt quite good about them.
She
wanted tapping homework, so we agreed on Even though I’ve had a
brick wall around me… and then added a Choice statement of I
choose to feel beautiful and sexy. She loved this phrase.
Here are the relevant points:
Arrive at your appointment as fully prepared as you know how
to be
by:
- Writing
(or thinking) about your “issue” ahead of time. Ask
yourself: What am
I afraid of? What holds me back? When did this start?
What do I
think is the cause of my feeling this way? Can I think of a
particular
situation or event that might have contributed to me feeling this way?
- Ask
for homework phrases and DO THEM. Then, as you do the homework
tapping, write down (so you’ll remember, they tend to slip away) the
negative thoughts that come up. All the reasons WHY this can’t
work
for you.
- Also, as you do the EFT homework, write down any
specific events that pop into your mind. Trust this process, even
if
the event seems to be unrelated.
- At your next appointment prepared with this information so
that
you and your EFT practitioner can get right into it.
FOR
EXAMPLE: At her next appointment one week later, when I asked how
the
homework went, she admitted that she’d tried doing it, but could not
feel “beautiful and sexy” and actually felt disgusting and
shameful.
She’d thought a lot about it and realized that sexual abuse which
occurred when she was 8 years old still kept her feeling this
way. It
was so hard for her to think about and talk about; she’d been hoping to
be able to skim over it.
But, because of her homework attempts
and her courage, within 5 minutes of getting on the phone we were
working on this important and long-standing core issue. And we
were
able to clear it.
In Summary: You can use EFT sessions as
“talk therapy session” with EFT tapping on issues as they arise; there
is nothing at all wrong with this approach. But, if you are short
on
cash and want to make the most of every session, or if you simply want
to get to the “meat of the matter” as quickly as possible, you can:
Prepare yourself before your first session,
- Ask for homework phrases,
- Do the EFT homework,
- Track where you get stuck and report these specifics to
your EFT
practitioner.
I hope this has been helpful and gets you the results you want.
Nancy Morris, EFT-ADV
See Nancy's web site at www.NancyAMorris.com
EFT calms overwhelming pain from a broken
finger
By Claudia Schecter, EFT-ADV
Being an active EFT practitioner I have had
the fortune to
witness many healing miracles in my practice and with family and
friends.
I know EFT can work wonders to release acute stress.
However, I
never had the experience with acute new pain. Acute chronic pain
yes, but
not with falls or accidents - at least not until recently when I
slammed my car
door shut on my right index finger.
I do not want to go into the gory details,
but I knew when I
removed my glove that my finger was broken. I immediately went to
the ER
and once I was safely there I nearly passed out. The pain was so
overwhelming, I was sitting in a wheelchair shaking from shock and
pain.
The painkillers I was given did not do anything and the only
thing I
could think of was that I had to balance my energy system and so I
started
tapping the EFT points.
I did not use any setup. I did not
even use any words.
I just kept tapping until I calmed down and the pain subsided a
bit.
This went on for a couple of hours. Every time a new wave
of pain
came over me I tapped till it was gone - and then, suddenly, there was
no more
pain. I was sent home with opiates and good advice on how to make
it
through the night, but I had no need to take any medication because I
was and
still am absolutely pain free! (All I feel is a very gentle warmth,
which
actually feels very pleasant.)
The next day I was nervous because I had to
see a surgeon to
decide on the treatment plan . So I started tapping:
Even though I am anxious
because I have to see the surgeon and I am afraid of what he may tell
me…
Even though I am petrified
that the surgeon will hurt me…
Even though I nearly passed
out when they examined me last night and I do not want to go through
this
again...
Even though I am afraid they
will have to sew my finger...
The visit went very well so now I started
tapping on
the actual accident.
Even though I was afraid to
take off my glove after I slammed my finger...
Even though I cringe when I
think of what my finger looked like after taking off the glove...
Even though I still cringe
when I think of what my finger looked like after taking off the
glove...
(I still tap on this one a bit)
Even though my body gets
tight when I visualize that finger…
I am feeling great and I am so grateful to
have this
tool. Thanks to Gary Craig , for all the dedication he has put
into
EFT. I hope this article will help reminding people to just tap
when in
any kind of emergency. You can use the set up phrases and the
repeats on
the points once the crisis is over.
Claudia Schecter, NHC
See Claudia's web site at http://www.quantumbalance.ca
Say,
“No!” to Chocolate Cravings
by Mildred Thill
Halloween, Christmas, then Valentine’s Day, Easter, and
Mother’s Day seem to bring with them plenty of temptation in the form
of
chocolate. The next time you are feeling tempted, use a couple of
tricks from EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, to send
temptation on its way. Warning: the
technique described below is only a shortcut that will work for many of
our temptations, but will not work for everyone or every temptation.
Follow these easy steps and see how EFT might work for you.
- Put a
chocolate in front of yourself. Look at the chocolate. Hear it calling
you. Smell it. Numm, chocolate….
- Tap the fleshy
part of the side of your hand (the karate chop point), using the other
hand or
a knee, or hard surface such as an arm of a chair, while saying, “Even
though I
really want to eat that chocolate, I deeply and completely accept
myself.”
- Using
your
fingertips, tap lightly on your eye bone, just below your eye.
Think or say, “chocolate”. Smell the chocolate.
- Tap the area
below the centre of the collar bone area, about where a man might knot
his tie. Think or say “chocolate”.
- Tap under
your armpit, on the side of your body, (about where a woman’s bra strap
would
be). Think or say “chocolate”.
- If you still
have the craving for chocolate, repeat the steps a few more
times.
- If you still
want to devour the chocolate, say aloud (while tapping the karate chop
point),
“Even though I still have some remaining craving for this chocolate, I
deeply
and completely accept myself.”
- Repeat this statement 2 more times, while
tapping the side of the hand. Repeat steps 3 to 5.
How do you feel about that chocolate
now?
You can learn the full tapping procedure from Gary Craig’s
web site, www.emofree.com.
If
you are interested on how tapping might solve some of your bigger
problems:
pain, anxiety, grief, anger or other emotions that keep annoying you, contact
Mildred Thill, at (780) 432-3605. Cost
is $60.00/ hour for telephone consultations, free telephone
introductory
sessions Tuesday mornings, subject to appointment availability.
Inexpensive evening
workshops are available on a regular basis.
Dealing
with Your Tension Headache using Touch and Breathe
By Mildred Thill, EFT
practitioner
The next time you get a stress-related headache, try this
Touch and Breathe Technique (TAB) from EFT: Begin by measuring your
headache on a
scale of 1 to 10 for pain level. Write the number down because you are
liable
to forget what it was as you proceed. (I use TAB because
sometimes tapping is too much when you are in the throes of a headache)
Start by tapping the fleshy side of your hand against your
knee or with the other hand as you say “Even though I have this
headache, and
even though I feel stress about (whatever is causing the stress), I
completely
accept, honor and respect myself; and I forgive myself, and anyone
else, for
whatever part we may have played in my headache.”
Repeat this mouthful two more times, while tapping the side
of your hand (as in a karate chop).
Touch each of these areas and take a deep breathe at each point:
1. The area above the bridge of your nose, about where your
eyebrows end.
2. The outside corners of both eyes.
3. The points directly beneath the pupils of your eyes on the bone.
4. The spot just below your nose.
5. The spot beneath your lips in the indent above your chin.
6. The area in the centre of your collar bone, where a man might knot
his tie.
7. The area below the armpits where a woman would have a bra strap.
Repeat this touch and breathe technique on each of the
points. Check your headache. What is it
on the 10 point scale now? Has it gone down? Is it completely gone? If
it has
gone down, but not completely disappeared, repeat the process a few
more times.
If it is the same level as it was when you started, try
tapping the side of your hand again and saying some of the following
statements,
three times each:
“Even though this technique is crazy and it will never work
for me, I accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t deserve to get over this headache, and even
though other people don’t deserve for me to get over this headache, I
accept
myself.”
“Even though it’s impossible for me to completely get over
this headache, I accept myself.”
Then go through each of the touch and breathe points, 1-7,
again.
This simple self-help technique should work for most tension
headaches and may even provide relief for more serious migraines.
Find out more information about EFT and pain
control from Mildred Thill 780-432-3605, at www.emofree.ca, or email braingym@telus.net. I’d
love to receive your email stories about
using this technique. Let me know how it
works for you.
Permission given to individuals to copy this article as long as it is
copied in it entirety, including copyiright and contact information.
copyright Mildred Thill, 2007.
Flying
Anxiety
by Mildred Thill
If you are an anxious air traveler, use EFT to prepare for
your next flight.
I suggest that at least for the first time, you do this process
at home and in private. (People might think they have a lunatic on
board if you
start doing this on the plane.)
After judging your anxiety about flying on a 10 point scale,
the best way to start is by getting rid of some common psychological
reversals
that people have about flying. (Psychological
reversals are either conscious or subconscious beliefs that stand in
the way of
treatment and limit the effectiveness of EFT.)
To deal with the reversals we use the formula: “Even though
(the reversal), I deeply and completely accept myself”, while tapping
the
karate chop point (the fleshy side of the hand on the little finger
side). This
statement is repeated 3 times, while tapping.
Here are some relevant reversals. Choose the ones that resonate with
you, or if you are unsure, go through each of them, saying each pair
three
times:
Even though this tapping technique won’t help me get over
this fear of flying, and
even though I have this fear of flying, I deeply and
completely accept myself.(3X)
Even though I am anxious about takeoffs and
even though I am anxious about landings, I deeply and
completely accept myself.(3X) Even though I’m not in control when I
fly; and
even though I’m afraid the plane will blow up, I deeply and
completely accept myself.(3X) Even though I’m afraid the plane will
crash, and
even though I’m afraid of dying, I deeply and completely
accept myself. (3X)
Even though I’m afraid something will go wrong with the
plane, and
even though I’m afraid the pilots will fall asleep or be
incapacitated, I deeply and completely accept myself. (3X)
Even though I’m afraid the autopilot won’t work, and
even though I may have some other unnamed reversals about flying, I
deeply and completely accept myself. (3X)
Now go through the tapping points as you
imagine yourself
going to the airport, going through security, getting on the plane and
sitting
down on the plane. If you feel any
anxiety at all about these steps, keep tapping through all the points
until
your anxiety reduces. Imagine yourself on the plane and tap through the
points, then go through the entire flight piece by piece in your
imagination until you imagine the plane safely at your destination.
Tapping
Points
1 top
of the head
2 inner
eyebrow area
3 outer
eye area
4 under
eye
5 under
nose
6 under
lips
7 under
collarbone
8. under arms
If you still have some anxiety about the idea of flying, try and
determine where it might have come from. Is this something you
picked up from watching a movie? Have you always had this fear? Were
you on a bad flight? Did you learn this fear from a family
member? Tap on each issue or memory that comes up. If
you are not able to release your fears completely, you may contact me
and I can help you clean up anything else that is still affecting you
in this regard. Mildred Thill. (Updated December 15, 2008).
Permission given to individuals to copy this article as long as it is
copied in it entirety, including copyright and contact information.
Copyright Mildred Thill, 2007, 2008.
Surrogate
Tapping
What is Surrogate Tapping?
Surrogate Tapping is when one person taps on behalf of
someone else. Sometimes this involves
imaginary tapping, especially if you are in a public place and wish to
provide
relief without looking like an escapee from a mental institution. Some people tap on behalf of someone else,
sending them the tapping energy. Sometimes
the tapper takes on the identity of the person they are tapping for. I think the process works very much like
prayer and like prayer, has more effect when more than one person is
involved
with the same intention.
Is Surrogate Tapping Ethical?
Many healing modalities require the permission of the person
being healed. I believe that this is partly because healing is
facilitated with
this permission. Psychological reversals are also less likely to appear
then.
Since surrogate EFT provides us with a way to deal
with these reversals, however, we can still effect healing. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, Emotional
Freedom
Technique says that permission is not required when you use
surrogate
tapping on behalf of someone else's good. By
all means, however,
consider asking permission if it is feasible to do so.
My experience with Surrogate Tapping
I have had some success with surrogate
tapping and I first used it in desperation, without even knowing that
it
would work, because a good friend and I had had a huge misunderstanding. My friend was so angry and so shocked with
what she understood to be my position that she was unable to listen to
any kind
of explanation or reasoning on my part. Using
EFT and surrogate muscle checking, I examined and treated some of
her psychological reversals around the issue and was able to dissipate
them for
her. We
did not see each other for a
month or more and when we did, she had really cooled down and stated
calmly to
me that I had a right to my opinion, that my opinion did not threaten
the
safety of her or her family (a previous reversal issue) and that she
thought
what she thought, and I thought what I thought, and that was okay. At
this point, I was also able to clarify my own position and explain to
her that my views were not the extreme position she had assumed.
Another friend of mine complained to me that her husband was
constantly complaining to her about a
particular issue that should not even been one of his concerns. I
suggested
that we do some surrogate tapping on his behalf and that if it worked
for him,
she could send me a check in the mail. Roughly
a week later, I got a check.
I use surrogate tapping often when I read something
distressing in the paper. I may be
completely delusional, but it feels like it helps, and people that show
up in
the news again are often there because of miraculous recovery. Of course, sometimes they die, in spite of my
tapping. In all cases, when the expected
outcome is poor, I tap for the best possible outcome for all concerned. Sometimes this means that survivors are less
traumatized, sometimes it means that a brain dead victim’s family
donates his
organs for transplant. In one case,
according to my surrogate muscle checking, it
meant that the person at death’s door forgave himself for being the
stubborn
old codger that he was, and forgave himself for his own part in his
preventable
death. (He was a victim of rabies who had refused to
seek medical help until it was much too late). In two
other cases, I like to
think I helped to release the fear of dying. One
of these women is still alive; the other passed away peacefully
shortly after my surrogate session on her.
I have used surrogate healing with very good effect on one of my
sisters. She was in a lot of emotional
pain
and distress over a family situation. I
did some surrogate tapping work her and she reported, without
prompting, that
she had suddenly felt immensely better about the situation. She knew that I had been working on her, and
thanked me afterwards.
I often use it on close family members and I think I am most
successful when they have over-reacted to an event or occurrence. Using surrogate tapping, I can often quickly
bring them to some calmness, helping them let go of the anger or upset
that has
affected them. I have done surrogate
tapping for my aunt who is battling breast cancer.
So far, she seems to be winning this battle. I
did some surrogate work my father-in-law who had had less than
successful
surgery, but nevertheless seems to be doing well in spite of this, and
on a
brother-in-law who had a stroke, and is subsequently recovering well. I
have
not always used it on loved ones with
success, however: Sadly, my twenty-something son still smokes.
I have had mixed results doing surrogate tapping for my
favorite hockey, basketball, soccer or curling team.
I do better with players of individual
sports: golf, high jump, tennis, and bowling. Of
course, I may not be the only one tapping for my favorite player or
team....
Surrogate tapping seems to work often enough for me to
keep
doing it. Like prayer, it gives me some
feeling of being able to assist people at a distance and is the perfect
tool
for any person who needs to be in control (not me, of course) because
the
person doing the tapping is also getting some healing at the same time.
I encourage you to use it to benefit others.
Mildred Thill www.emofree.ca, 780-432-3605, email me at braingym@telus.net.
Dealing with Your
Chemotherapy-Related Side Effects
Using
Touch and Breath (TAB)
By Mildred Thill, EFT Practitioner
The next time you get a side effect from your medication, try this
Touch and
Breathe (TAB) Technique from EFT:
- Begin by measuring your symptoms on a scale of 1 to 10 for
level of discomfort. Write the number down for each symptom, because it
is common to loose track of how you were feeling as you proceed.
- Tap the fleshy side of your hand against your knee or
with the other hand as you say “Even though I have these symptoms, and
even though I feel this [nausea, this dizziness, this stomach upset
](whatever
symptoms you have- you can include all of your symptoms in this
statement), I completely accept, honor and respect myself and I forgive
myself, and anyone else, for whatever part we may have played in my
original illness and my
resulting treatment symptoms.”
- Repeat
this mouthful two more times,
while tapping the side of your hand (as in a karate chop).
- Touch each of the areas below and take a deep
breathe at each point, focusing on one symptom for
each
round of touching and breathing:
Touch and Breath (TAB) Points
- The area above the bridge of your nose, about where your
eyebrows end.
- The outside corners of both eyes.
- The points directly beneath the pupils of your eyes on the
bone.
- The spot just below your nose.
- The spot beneath your lips in the indent above your chin.
- The area in the centre of your collar bone, where a man
might knot his tie.
- The area below the armpits where a woman would have a bra
strap.
- Repeat this touch and breathe
technique on each of the points. Check each of your symptoms. What is
each symptom on the 10 point scale now? Has it gone down? Is it
completely gone? If it has gone down, but not completely disappeared,
repeat the process a few more times,while mentally focusing on the
symptom. Repeat tapping rounds in the same way for any
other symptoms that may arise.
- If a symptom is at the same level as it was when you
started, or possibly worse, try tapping the
side of your hand again and saying some of the following statements, three times each:
“Even though this technique is
crazy and it will never work for me, I accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t deserve to get over these symptoms, and even
though other people don’t deserve for me to get over these side
effects, I accept myself.”
“Even though it’s impossible for me to completely get over
this symptom, side effect or disease, I accept myself.”
Then go through each of the touch and breathe points, 1-7, again.
This simple self-help technique should provide at least some temporary
relief
for your symptoms. The more often you go through this process, the
greater
likelihood that your symptoms will be more easily dealt with. Find out
more
information about EFT and pain and symptom control from Mildred Thill
780-432-3605, at www.emofree.ca,
or email braingym@telus.net.
I’d love to
receive your
email stories about using this technique. Let me know how it works for
you.
Copyright
Mildred Thill, 2007. You may copy this
article freely as long as
you include it in its entirety and as long as you give it, not sell it,
to
others.
Guest
Articles
Erectile
Disfunction & EFT
By Rick Wilkes
Ask any male from teenage years on and, if he's honest, he'll tell you
that
even the remote possibility of something going wrong with his privates
is
enough to cause anxiety. Of course, anxiety and stress are contributors
to such
problems. And such problems are contributors to stress and anxiety...
Use EFT
for E.D. and break this vicious cycle.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is the inability of a man to achieve or
maintain
an erection sufficient for his sexual needs or the needs of his
partner. Most
men experience this at some point in their lives, usually by age 40,
and are
not psychologically affected by it.
Some men, however, experience chronic, complete erectile dysfunction
(impotence), and others, partial or brief erections. Frequent erectile
dysfunction can cause emotional and relationship problems, and often
leads to
diminished self-esteem. Erectile dysfunction has many causes, most of
which are
treatable, and is not an inevitable consequence of aging. [via Urology
Channel]
Medical Causes of Erectile Dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction may be one of the first signs of an underlying
medical
condition. (Mayo, FamilyDoctor.org):
- Diabetes (high blood sugar)
- Hypertension (high blood
pressure)
- Atherosclerosis (hardening of
the arteries)
- Fatigue
- Brain or spinal-cord injuries
- Hypogonadism (which leads to
lower testosterone levels)
- Liver or kidney failure
- Multiple sclerosis
- Parkinson's disease
- Radiation therapy to the
testicles
- Stroke
- Some types of prostate or
bladder surgery
If you are not already under a doctor's supervision for this
condition,
this article is NOT for you! I don't like going to the doctor, either,
but many
of the conditions that may bring about erection problems are life
threatening. Use EFT for your
resistance to having it checked
out, but get it checked! Back
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The Emotional and Energetic Contributors to Erectile
Dysfunction
On the emofree.com website is an article on resolving
emotional
causes for erectile dysfunction. A urologist reported on a
30-year-old male
patient who had recently had a vasectomy. In addition to the pain of
the
procedure itself, he tried ten days after the surgery to have sex with
his wife
and it was extremely painful. He started to believe, "I may never
get
better, and sex might never be the same again, and might always hurt."
Using EFT the doctor was able to help his patient fully recover both
his
emotional confidence and normal sexual responses.
From an energetic perspective, our thoughts, our beliefs,
our feelings, and the disrupted flow of
energy in the
body are worth exploring as contributors to erection problems.
What Does Erectile Dysfunction Mean To Me?
Start by writing down what having erectile dysfunction means to you. If
you've ever said it, thought it, read it, or had a nightmare about it,
list it.
(Note: if you are not going to use EFT to tap the energy system and
bring
yourself relief, do not make this list. That would just be
self-punishment.
Indeed, I recommend that you CONTINUOUSLY tap the EFT acupoints as
you make
the list. Just tap one point a few times and move on to the next,
and keep
going. This will bring not only clarity but start the energetic
clearing
process).
Here are some limiting beliefs other men have expressed that may or may
not
apply to you:
- I'm not a real man anymore.
- I'm broken.
- I'll be alone.
- I can't perform anymore.
- If I can't please her, she won't
want me anymore.
- She'll reject me and leave.
- I'll get hurt again.
- I can't release this tension.
- I can't get it up.
- I can't keep it up.
- I can't take it all the way.
- I feel flaccid and weak.
- I feel so ashamed.
- I'm too embarrassed to even try
anymore.
- I can't stand the idea of taking
Viagra! And it probably won't even work for me!
- I never know when it is going to
work... or NOT... and that makes me panic.
- I'll never enjoy sex again.
- My body has failed me.
- I don't even WANT sex anymore.
- I'm just not that interested...
although I want to be.
- I am getting old.
- She'll laugh.
- She'll tell her friends, who
will tell their men, who will...
- Oh God, I don't even want to
think about it!
- My penis is depressed... and so
am I!Back
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Here are some limiting beliefs that might also trigger statements for
your
list:
- Men shouldn't express certain
feelings.
- Sex is a performance.
- A man must orchestrate sex.
- A man always wants and is always
ready to have sex.
- All physical contact must lead
to sex.
- Sex equals intercourse.
- Sex requires an erection.
- Good sex is increasing
excitement terminated only by orgasm.
- Sex should be natural and
spontaneous.
Use Your Words
I am using the term penis. Some men rarely use that term. With EFT it
is
important that you "call it like it is." So, if you refer to your
member as Dick, Peter, Rooster, or Mr. Greedy, or some other term, use
YOUR
name for it. If your self-talk is harsh and cruel and uses locker room
language, write those words down... but also tap continuously
while you are
writing.
Use EFT on Every Single Item on Your List
Make your own list, and use EFT on each and every item on it. Start by
putting a rating about "how true" it feels to you before you begin.
For example, "She'll reject me and leave" may feel totally true (a
10) in your body—even though perhaps logically it's ridiculous with
your strong
relationship. "I am getting old" might only register a 2 on a 10
point scale. If "I don't even WANT it anymore" is completely false, a
zero (0), don't put it on your list.
Next, we'll start doing rounds of EFT. We start by creating a set-up
statement from an item on the list. Let's use as an example: "I can't
get
it up." Say it aloud, "I can't get it up," and note two things:
- Where do I feel it in my body?
- How intense does it feel? (write
that number down, from 0-10)
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Let's assume that when you say, "I can't get it up" the sensation
is like a rock in your gut with an intensity of "8." Start tapping at
the karate chop point and keep tapping while you say the statement
below three
times, with intensity:
Even though I can't get it up, and I feel this rock in my gut, I deeply
and
completely accept myself ANYWAY!
Even though I can't get it up, and I feel this rock in my gut, I deeply
and
completely accept myself ANYWAY!
Even though I can't get it up, and I feel this rock in my gut, I deeply
and
completely accept myself ANYWAY!
Now we move to tapping the other acupoints. I'm using a style here
where the
statement and the feeling alternate from point to point:
Top of head: I can't get it up!
Eyebrow: Rock in my gut.
Side of eye: I can't get it up!
Under eye: Rock in my gut.
Under nose: I can't get it up!
Chin: Rock in my gut.
Collarbone: I can't get it up!
Under arm: I've got this rock in my gut...
Top of head: ...and I DEEPLY and COMPLETELY accept myself ANYWAY!
Take a deep breath. Then stretch, shake a bit, and move your body
around.
Okay, say the item on your list again. "I can't get it up." Is the
feeling in your gut still an "8"? Write down the new number. Is it
still a rock in your gut, or did the feeling change? If it changed, or
got
smaller, make note of that. A follow-up round might be something like
this
(keep tapping the karate chop point while saying the following, with intensity):
Even though I still have some of this rock hardness in my gut and I
STILL
can't get it up, I deeply and completely accept myself ANYWAY!
Even though I still have some of this rock hardness in my gut and I
STILL can't
get it up, I'm open to the possibility of enjoying sex anyway.
Even though I still have some of this rock hardness in my gut which is
NOT
where I want my hardness!, I deeply and completely accept ALL OF ME! Back
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Top of head: Remaining rock in my gut.
Eyebrow: I still can't get it up.
Side of eye: Remaining rock in my gut.
Under eye: I probably still can't get it up.
Under nose: Remaining rock in my gut.
Chin: I still might not be able to get it up.
Collarbone: Remaining rock in my gut instead of my crotch.
Under arm: I still am not sure I can get it up and keep it up....
Top of head: ...and I DEEPLY and COMPLETELY accept myself ANYWAY!
Take a deep breath.
Again, make the same statement, "I can't get it up," and notice if
there are ANY changes, however subtle, in how you feel in your body and
in your
thoughts. A drop from an 8 to a 6 is significant. You may notice an
even
stronger shift. You may notice very little. In my experience with
clients, many
men have not yet developed much body awareness. All you may notice is
that you
feel a bit more relaxed. That alone is a sign that the energy system is
balancing, and with energy system balance comes optimal healing.
Let's review the steps:
- Take one item on your list at a
time.
- Say it aloud and determine what
part of your body reacts to the statement with some tension, nausea,
pain, pressure, etc. Write that body sensation down, along with the
intensity.
- Use the wording from your list
along with the specific body sensation in your EFT set-up statement.
There are no wrong words in EFT. Feel free to improvise, and include
"and that makes me feel ________" (angry, hopeless, scared) as part of
the set-up statement and tapping.
- Do 2-5 rounds for each item on
your list. Make note of progress on the intensity.
- Move on to the next item.
- Spend 20 minutes one or two
times a day on this process.
What you will likely notice first are small signs that you are feeling
less
anxious about "the problem." Then, you might even start feeling a bit
pessimistically hopeful... that's okay, too!.
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Specific Events of Sexual Dysfunction
Next, let's work on specific events... the more specific the better. On
our
list above, we are tapping on general feelings... beliefs expressing
themselves
as disruptions in the body. It's my experience with clients that such
tapping
helps make the energy system (and the physiology reflected by it) more
resilient and strong. Specific events offers doorways into the energy
system
that can bring about permanent relief from the painful memory.
Ask yourself the following questions, and make notes of the specific
events
that come to mind, tapping continuously while you are writing:
- When did I first FEAR sexual
performance problems?
- When did I first have signs of
erection challenges?
- When did I first experience this
problem?
- When did I AVOID sex or intimacy
in order to keep from facing this problem, and how did that make me
feel?
- When did I experience any sexual
performance problems that were particularly traumatic?
- When (if ever) was I sexually
abused?
Addressing a specific event thoroughly can be difficult when working by
yourself. Why? Because we tend to gloss over the painful
aspects. It
is a natural defense mechanism. But that leaves the energetic
disruption
intact. So, I recommend that you consider working with a EFT coach or
therapist. Yeah, I know. This is embarrassing stuff. Tap with me...
Even though I am totally EMBARRASSED by this erection problem, I choose
to
be calm and confident ANYWAY.
Even though I can't imagine openly discussing this with anyone, I
deeply and
completely accept my reluctance.
Even though I could really use some support here, and I'm not going to
ask for
it, and you can't make me, I deeply and completely accept ALL of me.
Then, tap around all the points saying "This total embarrassment."
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Maybe that can bring you some confidence to seek out help. If it
doesn't,
and you want to use EFT on these specific events on your own, here is
what you
can try:
- Start tapping continuously
through the points.
- Write out the story in vivid
detail. Include sights, sounds, feelings, tastes, words spoken, words
unspoken.
- Once you have written the story
out, go back through it, sentence by sentence. Like we did with the
list, notice the body sensations. Tap on those sensations until you get
relief, preferably below a 2 on the 10 point intensity scale.
- Continue through the story until
you are complete.
- Set it aside until the next day.
Then tap continuously while you read the story aloud. Does any
intensity come up? If so, STOP and do multiple rounds until you feel
some relief.
- Repeat this until the story
seems boring or funny or at least neutral. If you can't get the shift
on this specific story, I would strongly recommend working with a
professional. Why? Because if a story about your sexuality PAINS you,
don't you think it is going to affect your relaxed enjoyment and sexual
pleasure?
- As an alternative to writing:
speak the story into a tape recorder or your computer recorder while
tapping continuously. Then, do the same procedure, going sentence by
sentence, pausing to tap in between.
How many specific events will you need to go through? As many as evoke
intensity and discomfort in your body as you remember them. What we see
is that
after you address a "number" of specific events, other related events
will harmonize on their own as part of the generalization effect. It is
still
appropriate to quickly and vividly remember them to see if there are
any
different aspects (words, feeling, sights, sounds, tastes, beliefs)
that pop-up
to be addressed with EFT. Back
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Setting Positive Expectation
According to medical professionals (Psychology Today), normal erectile
functioning requires:
- A responsive emotional state of
mind
- A normally functioning pituitary
- Adequate testosterone
- Adequate penile blood supply
If you have followed the above EFT processes, your emotional state of
mind
should be a lot more relaxed, responsive, and ready. We can improve the
emotional vibration even further using some positive tapping.
Even though I've had this problem, I'm open to finding it SURPRISINGLY
EASY
to have enjoyable sexual experiences.
Even though my penis hasn't been cooperating, I ask my hormones to
perfectly
balance for renewed sexual potency.
Even though I've had difficulty getting and maintaining an erection, I
ASK and
ALLOW my blood to stiffen my penis to please myself and my partner.
Top of head: I'm ready and willing.
Eyebrow: I allow my body to respond.
Side of eye: I see myself enjoying sex again.
Under eye: I relax into the WHOLE experience.
Under nose: Sex is a whole body pleasure.
Chin: I ask my penis to confidently participate in mutual pleasure.
Collarbone: I let go of ALL my performance anxiety.
Under arm: I allow my power to rise in my penis and my entire body.
Top of head: I radiate love for myself, my penis, my sexuality, and my
partner... and that feels REALLY GOOD.
Take a deep breath.
If you want, do more rounds of positive statements. Indeed, as the
intensity
of the negative experiences goes down, you'll want to continue to move
into a
state of calm confidence using positive rounds of EFT.
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Women Are Affected by
Erection Problems, Too
According to the Male
Health Center:
"When a man has an erectile problem, the couple has a sexual problem.
The women in the relationships frequently have questions, doubts,
resentments,
insecurities, and a need for information, understanding, and
reassurance. Too
often the man alone is seen as the patient and his partner is—at
best—barely
acknowledged, and—at worst—merely tolerated or even discouraged."
"Sometimes a woman, raised on the myths of men as highly sexual and
always ready, sees her partner's erection as an emotional lie detector.
A woman
may view an erection as proof that a man loves or desires her.
Therefore, she
believes the absence of an erection means he doesn't care, or doesn't
find her
attractive."
The pain and suffering of these issues (and more) can be addressed with
EFT.
Indeed, once a man has addressed much of the intensity using EFT
himself,
ideally he will feel confident enough to have an honest dialogue (with
continual joint tapping!) with his partner.
The STEPS TO SUCCESS in renewing intimacy through
sexual
intercourse are (according to Phoenix5):
- Admit the effects of impotence
on you and your relationship.
- Consider your physical and
psychological health.
- Explore the relationship factors
that predict successful treatment.
- Learn about the causes and
treatments for impotence.
- Discuss this problem with your
mate and determine your true sexual needs.
If there is a blessing in facing a sexual challenge like erectile
dysfunction, it is that it can force individuals and couples to really
clean up
their emotional fears, doubts, and unhelpful beliefs. Regardless of the
shift
that occurs in erectile performance, if you can get to a place where
you feel
calm confidence and can relax into a holistic sensual and sexual
connection
with another being, you can thrive in your relationships and deepen in
spiritual connection as a couple.
Rick Wilkes
http://www.thrivingnow.com
Back
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If you use
Rick's article succesfully, we would both like to hear from you. You
can email me at braingym@telus.net
and I will happily forward it to Rick or you can email him directly
from his web site, http://www.thrivingnow.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I heard about Fred Luskin from an article on CBC Radio 1. I was
impressed with the steps that he had come up with. As you read these 9
steps, keep EFT in mind and consider how it might make the process of
each step go faster for you if you tapped along.(MT)
Nine Steps to Forgiveness
Frederic
Luskin, Ph.D.
- Know
exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what
about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of
people about your experience.
- Make
a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel
better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.
- Forgiveness
does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you,
or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find
peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding
that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life
experience less personally, and changing your grievance story." Get
the right perspective on what is happening.
- Recognize
that your primary
distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset
you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes -
or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.
- At
the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique
to soothe your body's flight or fight response.Back
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- Give
up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not
choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have
for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind
yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and
work hard to get them.
- Put
your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met
than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of
mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.
- Remember
that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing
on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you
pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness
around you. Forgiveness is about
personal power.
- Amend
your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.
The
practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression
and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and
self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships
as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens
the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.
To contact
Fred, please send email to fred@learningtoforgive.com
See the web site at www.learningtoforgive.com
Article used with permission
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The following article by Barbara
Smith of New Zealand is one of the best
articles I have found explaining some of the art of EFT to beginners.
By
Barbara Smith, EFT Master
Part 1: When EFT doesn't work at home
Have
you ever thought “I tried that EFT and it didn’t work” or “How is
it
that I am tapping all this time and getting so
nowhere?” If you
have temporarily faltered in your EFT journey, these tips are for you.
EFT Tips For BEGINNERS, To help you over the hurdles
1. The One Minute Wonder
2. When EFT hasn’t worked YET
3. Do EFT for EFT
4. The ‘felt’ experience
5. EFT will never work for me
6. The words you were using
7. Too much, too fast|
8. The EFT Sceptics’ Society
9 Testing, Testing, Testing
10. Back to Basics.
~~~~~~
1. The One Minute Wonder
Sometimes,
when we first learn EFT, we are fortunate enough to experience or watch
one of those amazing demonstrations that result in profound, and
seemingly instant, change. We sometimes refer to this
as a One
Minute Wonder. This is so exciting and
satisfying. It seemed so
easy, and so effective. No wonder people talk about EFT as
the best
thing since sliced bread. This kind of transforming
success can
build our expectation that every session will be like that.
When we
try it out at home on our own problem, and the problem does not
instantly resolve, we get disappointed. We may wonder
if there is
something the matter with us, and sometimes we lose heart and give
up.
The one-minute wonder that you are experiencing in the
demonstration does happen quite often, but. not all the
time.
Trainers who work with groups are usually very experienced, and able to
employ a range of sophisticated EFT techniques. Good trainers
will
make intuitive judgements about which issue to address, the language to
use, and the best technique for the situation. You as a Newbie
are
still learning the basics. Keep tapping until the process
becomes
second nature, and you will be surprised at how successful you will
be. Back
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2. When EFT hasn’t worked YET
It
would be easy to head this paragraph “EFT doesn’t work for me”. This is
what the disappointed client would tell me, but when I reframe it as
‘EFT hasn’t worked YET’ I shift our focus away from failure and we can
hold the “yet” as a positive intention.
The metaphor that
guides me here and the one I use most frequently is the principle of
dripping water on a stone. It might take a while for us to see the
effect, but every time EFT ‘doesn’t work’ we learn another lesson about
ourselves, and about what works and what doesn’t work for each
situation.
3. Do EFT for EFT
When
someone tells me that they didn’t use EFT at home, we might discuss the
reasons, and the client may promise to “try harder” I
suggest that
tapping now would be useful, and we will do EFT for EFT.
The tapping routine would go something like this:
Even though
… this tapping stuff isn’t working, I fully and completely accept
myself.
… I forget to do EFT when it would be really useful
… I have messed it up …
… I give up on the EFT before I’m fully over the problem…
When
we have lowered our discomfort, frustration or anxiety about the EFT
not working, we will be free to address the next layer of presenting
issues.
We may even find some specific event about our own
beliefs about success, and if so we would tap for those. This
meta-level of tapping can be very useful.
Back
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4. The felt experience
One
of the ways we know that EFT is really working for us is through “felt”
experience. Most adults do not notice the changes in skin
temperature, the constant shifts of muscle tension, and the tightness
or lack of muscle tone at any moment. When the EFT seems
not to be
working, you have forgotten to notice what is happening in your body,
It
is very useful to stop and notice exactly what has changed. Has
the
tension gone out of your chest, are your shoulders tense or relaxed, or
has the mental picture changed? Does your body feel lighter, your
breath easier? Has the thought changed? Teach yourself to
notice
these changes in all your senses. Later, you can
refer back to the
specific experience to find what you might be overlooking, or to
recapture the feeling of success that you have previously discovered.
5. EFT will never work for me
There
are some situations where beginners can give up or feel hopeless. There
are many reasons that may stop you from reaching instant success.
One
reason for this is what, in EFT theory, we know as psychological
reversals. When we first learn EFT we begin to work
on ourselves
using the basic skills. We don’t have enough experience and
confidence to treat some deeper issues. This is the time when you
can
work one-to-one, or in a group, with an experienced EFT practitioner
who is familiar with the more sophisticated applications of EFT, and
who will help you to recognise and address core experiences and hidden
beliefs that may block you from change.
6. What were the words you were using?
When
people tell me that the EFT didn’t work, I will ask for specific
information about the issue, any aspects, and the phrases the client
was saying. This is the way to get specific about what
happened, or
where the protocol might be improved. Write down the issue,
the
reminder phrase you are using, and the intensity level of distress in
relation to this issue. This is especially important
if you are
working on your own. Note every change in aspect, and/or
intensity
after each round. In this way, you will be able to look
back and
remind yourself of your progress and previous successes. If
you are
working with someone else, this record will also ensure you can quickly
identify any issues that may have been overlooked. Back
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7. Too much, too fast?
Because
EFT is not working at home does not mean that EFT will not
work. It
just means it has not worked - yet. Sometime the reason is that
we
have tried to address one of our truly big issues with a distress level
that is overwhelming.
We learn in the basic EFT protocol that
when we are teaching EFT to choose issues with an intensity of no more
than a 5 or 6. Of course, we don’t always know what
is going to
happen next, and it is easy to escalate to a 10 in an
instant. Try
some practise sessions on less intense issues, or a less arousing
aspect of your problem before going back to the BIG ONE.
8. The EFT Sceptics’ Society
Most
of us have had years of experience of using the thinking-talking-trying
harder process of therapeutic change, and in the beginning we may
find
ourselves drifting back to a talk model, because we find it very
difficult to believe that something as strange as EFT will really work.
Those of us who are health professionals know that many of
our colleagues are still sceptical about EFT. I remember
that it took
me some time before I routinely used EFT on myself. I chose a few
colleagues to share what I was learning, and gradually became more
confident about presenting EFT to others. Now I use it on
everything,
and cannot imagine how I ever lived without EFT.
Find a
friend, colleague or professional who knows and uses EFT. If you
don’t
know any EFT person near you, arrange some telephone coaching,
subscribe to an EFT newsletter and read accounts from others about
their success with EFT. You can keep up to date with innovations
through internet newsletters. Many contact addresses
are available
through www.emofree.com. Support
may be the very thing that makes the difference.
Once
you have achieved a high rate of success with EFT in your own life,
other people’s scepticism really does not matter. You
can change
your response to others with a little tapping: Even though I
really hate the way she rolls her eyes when I mention EFT.
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9. Testing, testing, testing
Are you testing at home? What are you
testing?
In
my practise this is the thing that new clients find the most difficult
to do consistently at home. Is it possible that you
wandered off
target, and moved from experiencing fear at a 9, to anger at a
9? Or
perhaps you stayed on the same aspect of feeling, but failed to note
and record the level of distress.
Before you think EFT is
not working for you, do ensure that you write down aspects and distress
level for every round. Some issues do take several
rounds before
they completely clear. I suggest to my clients that
if they think
there is no change, they should be prepared to do up to five rounds at
any one level of intensity before they move to a new aspect or
topic.
There is a high possibility that if you carefully record your intensity
rate and are clear about the aspect you will find yourself making
progress.
10. Back to Basics. With ‘The EFT Course’
The
EFT Course is presented in Gary Craig’s original DVD sets. EFT is
copyrighted, and remains the definitive source of EFT theory and
practice. Over the course of time, experienced therapists have
been
integrating EFT with many other psychological and physiological forms
of healing, whilst others have been creating variations that we
sometimes call “cousins”. If EFT is not working for you,
check that
you are following all of the EFT Basics in your sessions at home.
Then, in the words of Family therapist, Virginia Satir,
Try it on everything, and swallow only what fits.
Barbara Smith, EFT Master Back
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Part 2: Helpful Hints for
New Clients
In
my private practice, I occasionally have new clients come to me and say
that they don’t want to do ‘that EFT stuff’. They
tried it and it
“didn’t work.”
This provides me with an immediate
challenge. EFT is the cornerstone of my work.
I want to know
exactly what goes wrong for this group of people who say in their very
first session with me, “How is it that I am tapping all the time
and
getting so nowhere?” or “I don’t want to do that EFT: it
didn’t work
for me”
I invite them to tell me more. In some instances
they report that they learned EFT from a friend, or they did a little
piece of tapping in the context of another health
discipline. Some
people have downloaded the EFT Manual but have never experienced a live
session. In other examples, there has been some kind of
therapist-client mismatch.
Most of these people either
have not been introduced to Gary’s Basic recipe, or became so excited
with their first success that they did not really get a hold of the
basics; hence could not repeat the process successfully at
home.
What
all these people have in common is the belief that EFT does not work
for them, and that they have not fully experienced the stunning
effectiveness of the EFT Basic recipe. Here are ten ways to
ensure
your clients continue their progress at home.
1. EFT is amazing but takes some time to
learn.
2 Keep it simple at first
3 Try EFT on everything
4 Write it down
5 Anecdotes will inspire
6 Metaphors for reinforcement
7 Staying Under-whelmed
8 Prescribe a possible problem
9 Avoid burnout on re-entry
10 Arm your Newbies with basic information
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1. EFT is amazing. It takes time to learn and it gets
better with practise
At the first session, I set up a simple Basic Recipe homework
protocol “so that you get the whole process on automatic pilot, and
then it will be available whenever you need it”
This
sets a homework precedent, where you, as practitioner, are not
responsible for all the progress. By suggesting homework
you will
build an expectation that people will keep working at it, and that the
basic protocol will become easy with practise. In the
following
session ask about the homework. Consider what else they could do
at
home, and demonstrate in the session.
2. Keep it Simple at First
There
are many new and exciting enhancements to the basic EFT
protocol.
When clients experience a lot of variations of statement and tapping
points in the first session or workshop, they often make a significant
shift at the time, but may not be clear as to how to proceed at
home.
It is well worth going back to basics to consolidate the foundation EFT
process. You can also reinforce the basics by
offering a simple
‘basic recipe’ handout for people to follow in their home practise
sessions.
3. Try EFT on Everything
- When
people who already use EFT tell me about some life problem or
frustration, I invariably ask them how they have used EFT on it.
- I keep reminding clients to try EFT on whatever they are
telling me..
- I use anecdotes and stories of EFT succeeding as a result
of persistence.
- I reframe ‘failures’ with “so it hasn’t worked yet”
- I
assume a client will have tried EFT on their new issue. ‘So
how did
you get on with EFT?’ is a lot more potent than ‘did you try EFT?’
4 Write it down
In
one-on-one sessions with beginners, I like to write down at least one
complete sequence of successful EFT for the client to take
home. I
use two sheets of paper with traditional carbon paper, so there is a
copy for my file and a take home copy for the client. Most
clients
really like this, and they invariably bring this back to the following
session to discuss what worked.
5. Anecdotes will inspire
I
use anecdotes about other people’s difficulties, and eventual success
when getting started with EFT. I am careful to change enough
details
to ensure privacy is maintained. The caveat here is that some
people
can wonder when they hear stories, whether you might share their
story and they might be recognised: I usually tell my clients
that the details have been changed.
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6. Metaphors for reinforcement
- When
you buy a car, you need to check the oil, fuel, tyres and water if you
are going to have a smooth ride. You need to learn to drive
safely as
well. You can drive around in a dirty car, but the experience is
pleasanter, more efficient and safer if the car is cleaned and serviced
regularly.
- Every day we spend time washing, cleaning teeth,
choosing clothes that will be right for the weather, exercising and
making diet choices. We all know what happens if we ignore these
vital
routines.
- Now ask “how much time do you
think it would it be appropriate for you to invest, each day, in
ongoing maintenance of your mind and soul?
7. Staying Under-whelmed
Some
people who have unresolved emotional issues have previously experienced
overwhelm or meltdown at home, are afraid to use more EFT because it
may open up too many issues. When a problem is too
distressing to
think about, we become used to pushing upsetting thoughts or memories
away. The idea of addressing such problems directly with EFT may
feel
overwhelming. Always trust the client, and ensure
safety. If you are
a new practitioner, you need to stay under-whelmed, too.
Use EFT for
yourself, and seek professional supervision with an experienced
colleague.
If you have previous therapy experience, it is
helpful to suggest that people gain confidence by addressing the BIG
ONES in the session and practice with smaller issues at
home. One
very gentle approach here is to start with the emotional
response.
…even
though this problem feels too big to handle (or) I might get
overwhelmed if I let myself think about it (or client’s words)…I accept
myself anyway.
Once clients have the experience
of safely releasing some of their distress, they are more likely to
feel safe enough to continue the process in the session, and eventually
at home.
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8 Prescribe possible problems
As other
people’s disbelief or scepticism can discourage new clients, I suggest
they don’t try to explain what they are doing until they feel
confident. I ask if them to remember their own early doubts, and
to
allow for the fact that some people will think it is really weird.
I
also give out a one page simple handout that will help them explain the
process to their significant others.
9 Avoid burnout on re-entry
EFT
is so exciting! People often go home from their first
workshop
filled with enthusiasm, and ready to change the
world. If the EFT
doesn’t seem to work as well at home, they can sometimes lose
heart. I
find it helpful to tell my clients that they may experience temporary
setbacks at the beginning while they are still learning. I
reframe
such reactions as “tripping over an issue that is deeper than
expected”. Perhaps it is a signal to go back to the basics, or
just to
do more tapping.
10 Arm your new ‘converts’ with basic information.
Some
Newbie’s are so enthusiastic they want everyone else to know, too, and
they may lose heart when some friend, family member or health
practitioner treats EFT with suspicion or derision. I usually
encourage people to remember their own first doubts at doing something
so different. Most people will remember themselves or someone
else who
thought that EFT was too strange or weird to be taken
seriously. I
suggest they get comfortable working on themselves before sharing with
others.
As well as a Basic Recipe hand-out to help
people stay on track at home, I offer a simple written description in
everyday language that will help new clients explain the EFT process to
their significant others.
Barbara Smith, EFT Master, www.eft-newzealand.com
You can reach Barbara by email at EFTchanges@xtra.co.nz
This article is reprinted with permission.
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A Word From Our Complaints – Take Note and
Tap
If Your Aching
Shoulder Could Talk, What Would It Say?
By Angie Muccillo
You
complain about your body complaints - that “damn shoulder,” “those bung
knees,”
“that creaky neck, “but how about giving your body complaints a chance
to
complain about you? I wonder what they would have to say?
The
purpose of this exercise is to give your painful body parts a chance to
voice
their point of view and express their pain and hurt while giving you a
chance
to really listen and take note. In this exercise you will be paying
attention
to your aching screaming body parts. This is an exercise in
“in-tuition”
Learning from within. It involves tuning in to your body and learning
what it
needs by listening to how it feels.
Communicating
with your body in this way can re-establish or strengthen your
connection to
it. Sometimes we spend so much time complaining about our pain (either
silently
or aloud) that we forget to stop and listen for the message in the
pain. Once
we understand what our shoulder is ‘angry’ about, for example we can
release it
with EFT.
Let’s
see what a ‘typical’ shoulder has to say. If you have a shoulder
complaint of
any sort then do your shoulder a favor and tap along. Simply tap the
EFT points
continuously as you read this script. You can borrow the benefits from
this
shoulder complaint. This is definitely one “uptight” shoulder!
A Word From Our
Shoulder Complaint…
“Hi
it’s me, your shoulder, yes that right REMEMBER ME? It’s nice to be
heard
FINALLY! Where do I begin? I’ve tried and tried to get your attention
over and
over again but you just won’t listen to me. I have sent you repeated
pain
signals and messages but you ignore all my warnings and push on despite
them.
What’s that all about? I don’t understand why I have to get so red and
angry to
be heard. It’s the only time you acknowledge me and when you do all I
get is
condemned. “That damn shoulder!” you cry. I feel like hunching over
every time
you hurl abuse at me. How do you think that makes me feel? Back
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You
complain about me, well you know what? I’ve got a few complaints of my
own.
I’ve been carrying your load and burdens all these years and what sort
of
appreciation do I get? NONE! To be honest I am fed up and angry with
you for
treating me so badly. I’ve been supporting you all these years but I’m
cracking
and crumbling under the pressure. All I want is to know that I am doing
a good
job. Just the slightest acknowledgement would do. Some positive
attention for a
change would be greatly appreciated.
BUT
you keep saying ‘yes’, when you mean ‘no. ‘I’m sick and tired of it. I
wish you
would follow your ‘no’s’ for a change. But because you don’t follow
your
‘no’s’, you always end up over committing yourself and working too long
and too
hard and you don’t even enjoy it most of the time. Then you take it all
out on
me and complain incessantly about how I bother you and what a pain I am
and how
I stop your from doing what you need to do. I just tighten up more and
more
every time I hear you say yes to something you don’t want to do or be
or have.
I’m sick and tired of being tied up in knots all the time!
If
you insist on carrying all those burdens and don’t learn to say no,
when you
mean no, then I’m going to have to say it for you by flaring up and
firing a
few more pain signals your way. I might even freeze right up so you
can’t move
and then you’ll be forced to stop what you are doing right there and
then. I
know that may seem a little harsh but that way you might get the
message that
I’m overworked and overtired and deserve a holiday!! Here’s the deal.
I’ll rush
you a load of those feel good chemicals you like so much, just as soon
as you
relax and give me a break! Deal?
Step by Step
Guidelines For Writing Your Own Script
How To “Take
Note” of Your Complaints
Step1.
Choose a physical complaint, and ask your complaint to state it’s own
complaints.
Step
2. Invite your aching body part to speak up. Ask for the loudest
complaint to
come forward and deal with this one first.
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Step
3. Focus on the area of your body you would like to heal e.g. shoulder,
neck,
back, stomach etc and ask it to talk to you about how it is feeling.
Encourage
your chosen body part to express any complaints and upsets openly and
honestly
and without holding back. Listen
carefully and write down everything you are being told, take note of
every
complaint, every unheard request and every upset. You are at the
service of
your body here. Your job is to simply “take note.” Allow yourself to be
creative in the process.
Step
4. Once you have finished your script, read it out aloud and either tap
continuously on the EFT points OR rub the sore spot until you get to
the end of
the script and then use a reminder phrase at each point such as, “this
(name of
body part) complaint.”
Step
5: Write a reply to your complaint in the form of a “Self Care Plan”.
This is
your chance to address your body’s complaints. Write to your complaint
or
simply talk to it about your intentions to address its concerns. You
may want
to start by acknowledging its complaints and showing empathy for what
it is
experiencing. You can then explain what you plan to do (what action you
will
take) to address these complaints. For example, a “Self Care Plan” for
the
above shoulder complaint might sound something like this. Again tap
along to
borrow the benefits.
“Dear
Shoulder,
Yes
I hear you loud and clear now that I’ve stopped and taken time out of
my busy
schedule to take note of how you feel about all this. I know I’ve been
a pain
to live with lately, but things are going to change now. Even though in
the
past I have been guilty of not listening to you, from now on I vow to
tune in
to how you are feeling and do what is necessary to take care of
it. As soon as I start to receive a pain signal
from you, I will promise to stop and look at what I’m doing that is
overloading
you. I vow to take care of you, respect you, praise you and appreciate
you for
all your hard work. Yes you have carried
me all this time and now I take the time to show my appreciation. How’s
this I
will ensure that you get a massage at least once a fortnight (or weekly
if
you’re complaining gets too loud!) I will take your advice and start
saying no,
when I mean no. Even though I’ve been guilty of saying ‘yes’ when I
mean ‘no’ I
choose to follow my ‘no’s’ from now on.
I will take a long hard look at what I take on and whether it is in my
best interest. I put you first and focus on getting balance back into
my life
so that you don’t have to work so hard. Hey and guess what I just went
to see
the boss and I’ve put in for 6 weeks off? Now does that sound like a
“Self Care
Plan” or what?
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Do You Need Extra
Help Tuning In?
If
you have difficulty tuning into to your body and you can’t 'hear' the
messages,
try these little EFT “Tune Ups”:
Even
though I can’t tune in to what my body is trying to tell me, I choose
to listen
for the message in the pain.
Even
though I’m so out of touch with my body’s needs, I choose to practice
listening
and taking note of what my body is trying to tell me.
Even
though until now I have neglected and ignored the messages from my
body, I
choose to pay more attention from now on.
Recommended Uses
This
technique can be used for pain management, whether it is for long-term
chronic
pain or injury/illness/postoperative related pain.
The
more you “take note” of your body’s complaints and tap on these
complaints, the
less likely your body will complain. You can apply this process to all
your
physical complaints, starting with the loudest ones first.
Using
this technique regularly may lead to pain reduction. It can also be
used in a
preventative manner by helping you stay in tune with your body and
giving it
what it needs for optimum health, whether it be better nutrition, more
rest,
more exercise, recovery time, letting go of certain obligations,
cutting back
work hours, increasing recreation time, increasing creative pursuits
etc.
I
would like to hear from you and your complaints. Feel free to submit
your
“complaints” and let me know how, if in any way, this exercise has
helped you.
Angie
Muccillo
www.idealsoulutions.com
sublime@pacific.net.au
© Copyright Angie Muccillo, 2007.
All
Rights Reserved.
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©2007, 2008,2009
Mildred Thill, Brain
Balance Consulting, Inc. All information, with the exception of guest
articles, is free for use or
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guest articles must be obtained from the guest author. This page was
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