A son like the SON

Saturday afternoon workshop led by Johannes Bosch

Click here to see Joe's original handout/worksheet in PDF (1.9MB) - with thanks to John VanVeen

"Each person brings into a conversation or relationship a host of manifestations (indications, disclosures) that say a lot about who we are. Every person is a unique gifted package, created by God." In our relationships we are all affected by:

values age questions feelings religion/faith status experiences background expectations beliefs failures gifts culture families fathers good leaders dreams strengths wants hopes opinions goals Christ sin anxieties worries understanding judgments ambitions need bad leaders gender searches

As sons any or all of these can and will be disclosed to and by the person with whom we are communicating. "We have to realize that our perceptions and understanding of each other will influence the way we communicate and may either enhance or impede our ministry."

Objective

To assist us as sons in establishing new/ different relationships with our fathers mirroring the relationship that Christ had with his Father

"Children's first impressions about fathers come from their early experiences with their perfect, present, abusive, distant or absent father. Regardless of parental devotion, no parent can fulfill all of the child's wants and desires. While these wounds can be inflicted with intent, many are unintentional and affect the child throughout life."

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

When I was a child I knew that my dad was:

Stronger than your Dad
The best man in the whole wide world
Built me a sandbox, a really big one!
A H.I.M. (a highly intelligent man)......

When I was a young lad I knew that my dad:

Could skate like the wind
Could throw a ball a zillion miles and hour
Loved to play with me on the beach
Loved my mommy

When I was a teenager I knew that my dad:

Was pretty cool
Was old fashioned and out of touch
Was never there for me
Said he loved me, but……

When I got older I knew that my dad:

Was a crotchety old man
Really did know some stuff
Was right …………..

What changes would you like to see in yourself? After having reflected on the above questions discuss or list three things or attributes that you wish to display or had displayed towards your dad. Titus 2: 11- 14 Ephesians 4: 14 - 16
How does Hebrews 4: 14 - 16 relate to our being sons? Are we able to follow Christ’s example with confidence and conviction?
Think about God as your Father and Christ as the Son. How is God’s /Christ’s nature evident in you? Does seeing this family likeness change your ideas of yourself?
When was the last time you asked God for something specific for your dad? Did you receive what you prayed for? How did you feel about asking? Christ’s prayer John 17: 1 - 26
Do you find it easier to forgive yourself, having asked first for forgiveness, when you feel that you have failed God or is it easier to forgive your dad or others when they fail you or hurt you? Why do you think you are as you are in this regard?
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Romans 7:18-19, 24
Christian sons face the difficult task of living in a world of "correctness." In the past, we grew up in a society that clearly defined what was right and what was wrong. Parents were recognized as the primary authority figure in our lives. "Now as the world conforms, we inevitably react to the unprecedented immorality, anti-family, and anti-parent concepts in schools and media."
….insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents. . . Romans 1:30
Christ has set the example of being righteous, just, compassionate. With all of the worldly influences that assail us on a daily basis how can we as sons remain steadfast and be a good example within and outside of our families.
We are all familiar with the words of Exodus 20 vs. 4 which we hear every Sunday when the Law of God is read. We have all heard God's word when he says "…for I the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate me but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."
Can we relate Achans sin in Joshua 7: 24 - 26 and the punishment of his entire family to this commandment?
It has been said before that "you are what you live." As sons/families we often fall into the same sins, anger, bitterness, alcohol, abusiveness, covetousness, maliciousness, envy, hatred etc., of our fathers. With Christ's help how can we best break what at times becomes a vicious cycle that perpetuates itself throughout the generations?
Christ's example of obedience to his Fathers will is one that we must all try to emulate. Even in the most difficult of circumstances Christ was obedient and gave his Father the honor and glory due his name.
The fifth commandment teaches us to honor our fathers and mothers so that our days may be long on the land that the Lord gives us. To honor means to esteem or regard someone highly. We are to show love and faithfulness to them respecting the position that God has given them.
"Of all authority, that possessed by parents is the most basic and influential. The failure of parents to exercise their parental authority and to demand obedience from their children is the primary cause of much of society's ills."
What does scripture have to say about honoring our fathers? How do you show honor to your father’s authority? How do/can you honor his legacy even though memories may be painful?
Christ shared an intimacy with his Father that was pure, holy and a perfect love. As a member of Christ’s household how do/can you express and share that intimacy with your brother, father or fellow believer.
Christ lived in perfect obedience to God. Hebrews 5: 8-9. We on the other hand are deviled by sin, Mark 7: 20 - 23, and search out what is evil. God encourages us to be a shining star, Philippians 2: 12 - 18, and gives us the key to obedience in 1 John 2: 1 - 8. Paul's words to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 11:3 remind us that we can be easily lead astray or deviate from following Christ's perfect example by many influences around us.
How can a cluttered mind affect your ability to give adequate attention to your relationship with Jesus Christ? How, in turn, does that affect your patience with loved ones, politeness to strangers, joy in everyday activities, or calm through stressful situations?
Christ humbled himself even unto death itself. 2 Corinthians 8: 9, John 1: 1 - 14, Hebrews 2: 14.
"In Philippians 2: 5 Paul tells us to have the same attitude Christ had when he surrendered His possessions, position, and plans in submission to the Father's will. What specific possessions, position, plans or even people are you holding onto a bit too tightly?"
To live and be a son like Christ is also to serve. Mark 10: 42 - 45. How do you serve within your family, within your church, within your community?
Are you able to take on the following task? "You want to be like Christ? Find the least desired position, the task no one else wants, the worst seat in the house, and claim it. Make it yours.
For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:13-15

Sources and resources

So You Want to Be Like Christ by Charles R. Swindoll
Christ in the Family by W. Meijer
An exposition of the Heidelberg Catechism by Herman Hoeksema

Strengthening the Bond men's conference
Edmonton and area Canadian Reformed Men's Fellowship Society