Articles I've written and articles of others are accessible via the drop-down menu or the list below. Click the nova to close the article.

• War Against Iraq by Tadhg H.
• Canadian Identity by David. P.
• Magic: the Gathering (look for trouble_fish)

War Against Iraq

A cynical view by Tadhg H.

To be typed (it's four pages written).

The Canadian Identity

By some crazy guy in Canada (David P.).

Canada - What should we do to preserve its identity? First off, make a large, very large, plastic sphere and encase the nation in it. Then, fill it full of certain preservative gases. Buildings and Canadian icons will be coated with a special fluid, allowing them to stand free and shiny. Light will reflect highly off of them in order to be seen from a distance. Canadians will wear bright orange clothing, as to stand out; as other nationalities wear will a dark brown style of clothing. Exit out of the large plastic sphere should be illegal as to keep Canadians in Canada, especially when actors and musicians try and get out. Any attempts at leaving the country will be considered treason and will result in a maximum jail penalty of twenty years.

Anyone entering Canadian citizenship should sell all assets to the Canadian government and purchase new, Canadian items. Canadian government should settle for nothing but the best. Incompetent actors and singers will be told of their worthlessness and sent out of the country. If those people happen to ‘make it big’ in another country, a group of individuals should be sent out of the country primarily to force those people to return to Canada. Any buildings created in the future should have Canadian emblems pasted to them and shall be colored white and red. All non-Canadian made food will be given to the homeless and replaced will fully Canadian goods. The same thing will be done with other goods.

On the whole, Canada should be so strict with its population being Canadian, that fines should be placed on people who do not be Canadian when they should. Talking out of Canadian ‘accent’ will be fined, as well as not saying appropriate words like ‘eh’ at the right times. Using other countries currency is illegal as well as mocking the Canadian identity.

The only way to preserve Canada’s identity from the creeping influence of the other evil nations is to go to the extreme. Absolutely no contact and radio waves from other countries will be allowed into the country. Just looking over the rivers at Sault Ste Marie should be treason.

This is the only way to become truly Canadian. Anything else is a mockery.