In Search of Church: A Journey, Not a Destination

Dead-Ends, Detours, and Desiderata

(Draft: March 27, 2003; Last Revision: May 1, 2003)

Hope and Dreams: The Prodigal Homeward Bound

Table of Contents
Running On Empty: Being and Belonging Comfortably Numb: Disillusionment and the Downward Spiral Hope and Dreams: The Prodigal Homeward Bound Circle of Friends: Towards An Eclectic and Everyday Ecclesiology Walk On: Conversation Partners for the Journey

After leaving quietly, we tried a few churches, including a house church in Washington (which we're still in contact with), we realized that there was a community of believers right in our own neighborhood! We did not have a favourable impression on our first visit, as hardly anyone spoke with us after the meeting, despite the fact that in such a small church, visitors stood out clearly.

Nevertheless, we felt that it was where God was leading us to, so we went back. My wife is not one to passively sit and whine, so we took the initiative to attend house groups, and with my wife's gift of hospitality, we went through the church directory and began inviting people over for lunch. Through the conversations, we were able to get to know others better. So, we feel somewhat connected now, at least with some of the people.

So why the nagging longing for something more? What am I looking for anyways? When we come together as a body, I am seeking an authentic engagement with my fellow believers and an authentic encounter with God. I want to be a part of a community characterized by: healing, hope and helping hands, open and honest communication, and genuine compassion and commitment. I want to be accepted as I am, without having to wear masks to fit in.

I don't want to be seen as a computer geek
I don't want to be seen as an intellectual freak
I don't want to be seen as a divorced man
I don't want to be seen as a chinaman

just see me as your brother, as somebody
as part of the family
one of the weaker members of the Body
just see Christ in me

It seems that many are content to come to church on Sunday and be "pew potatoes" and then disappear for the week. We talk of "love" and "community" and yet, some of the brothers and sisters go out of their way to avoid eye contact with me. It has become obvious that some of the saints have no interest in even knowing our names.

Most Christians prefer to cocoon and "focus on the family" without too much involvement in others' lives. My wife painfully remembers how she was often ignored and felt left out in church life when she was a single adult. In his challenging and provocative book, Rodney Clapp assets that "[a]llegiance to the kingdom precedes the family. It does not destroy the family ... The family is not God's most important institution on earth. The family is not the social agent that most significantly shapes and forms the character of Christians. The family is not the primary vehicle of God's grace and salvation for a waiting, desperate world." (Families at the Crossroads: Beyond Traditional & Modern Options, [IVP; 1993]) He further argues that the home is not to be a safe little "haven" from the world, but rather, a "mission base", and goes on to give some practical suggestions as to what that might look like.

Further, we claim to be open to the presence of the Spirit in our gatherings, yet we insist on a "programmed" approach", week after week. If our "structure" is inhibiting spontaneity, are we not willing to change? Surely the relationship between the form and function of our gatherings is one of fluidity and flexibility, not fixedness and fossilization! Freedom (to be creative) and Fidelity (to the scriptures)!! Sorry about the alliteration! ;-)

Well, I could gripe some more, but the reader is surely sick of my whining by now! Especially when I'm not without blame. Bottom line: I'm tired of "castles in the air" ... I want some reality in our church life together!