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The downward spiral eventually hit rock bottom when I discovered my ex-wife was having an adulterous affair with another man. At this time, I was actually part of a small group at the invitation of the parents of my oldest son's friend. Wasn't I fortunate to be part of a group of brothers and sisters during this darkest moment of my life? Well, they did pray for me. And one of the sisters did drop off a meal once. That's nice. But why didn't she invite me over to share a meal with her and her family instead?! For what I really needed was some fellowship and some support. It's no fun to be eating dinner alone!
I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human TouchBruce Springsteen, Human Touch
So I would struggled through each week with no contact from anyone in the group. Then the next small group meeting would come around and they would ask me how I was doing. In reply to these "happy-clappy" people who have "perfect" children and beautiful homes (decorated with Martha Stewart flair), I wanted to sing sarcastically these words from REM's "Shiny Happy People":
Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd
People people
Throw your love around
Love me love me
In fact, it was a non-Christian family that took the boys and me under their wings and showed us practical love and support. We were invited for dinner (and sometimes breakfast and lunch too!) a few times a week, and also to weekend activities. The boys and I became a part of their family. And unlike the Christians in my small group, they were more than happy to listen to me and talk with me!
Well, the final straw came when I was encouraged to seek counselling from one of the pastors of the church that the small group was a part of. So I made an appointment to see him after the worship service one Sunday. Well, he came up to me and immediately flagged someone over, introducing him as the small groups coordinator. He then prayed for me, and encouraged me to get "plugged in" with a small group. Before I could tell him that I was already part of a small group, he had walked away. Total elapsed time: maybe 3 minutes. How much shall I make out the cheque for?
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness.
So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another.
Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence.Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Tales of a Wayside Inn