About Andrew
Entries from January 12 to January 29, 2003
Later entries are here
Thanks for your interest in Andrew's progress
You can
- see the latest notes (always current)
- see the adobe acrobat version of above
- read the
discussion group
(and post a message to Andrew) - Email the Wark Family
Come what may |
| Wednesday January 29, 2003 05:42 PM |
Dear friends, We finally got in to see an oncologist in Calgary’s Tom Baker Cancer Centre this morning to talk about my melanoma tumours, prognosis et al. They didn't give us thenews we really wanted to hear but I'm glad they were upfront with us. Basically, from a medical perspective, the cancer is untreatable. They told us that by the time it gets to the brain and is attacking other organs (ie. liver and lungs) as it already is, it is pretty much beyond treatment. The best they can do is give me palliative care - treat the symptoms, manage the pain and try to help me get the best out my remaining time. In terms of how long they give me - every case is different, but they're thinking minimum three months. Best case scenario...they don't expect me to last the year out. I hope to prove them wrong, but I'll take every day I can get as a gift from God. As part of the palliative care, the oncologist has recommended that we begin a 10-day whole brain radiation treatment. This will minimise any swelling around the brain tumours, hopefully shrink the edema a little and allow me to go off the steroids (which cause a lot of nasty side effects themselves). He's also going to talk to the chemo guys, to see if they feel chemotherapy would do any good in relieving any of the symptoms. Unfortunately, the radiation therapy will give me a stylish new hair style (ie. my hair will all fall out - might do a pre-emptive strike and give myself a buzz cut). It's a hard call - I'm willing to go through some of these "treatments" if it really will help my quality of life without making me too wretchedly ill. But I don't want to subject myself or my family to it if the benefits will be minimal and will not really extend my time at all. I'll start with the radiation therapy and decide whether we'll go forward with anything more after that. God's grace has been quite overwhelming during this time. He gives the grace we need when we need it most. Telling the kids was tough, as was telling my parents. Rotten news, but life can be like that. That's the cost of loving someone, I guess. It hurts when something like this happens. We're staying close to the Lord through this time and we're making the best of each day He gives us. Judy and I want to thank everyone who has joined hands with us, held us up and prayed. Andrew |
"Ready for anything under the sky" |
Wednesday January 29, 2003 06:17 AM |
“Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. “With banner flip-flapping, once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you're that kind of a guy!” (Dr. Suess - of course!) Yesterday Andrew and I went for an orientation at the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. Overall, it was very informative and resourceful. The powerpoint presentation showed us the inside of a radiation theatre, the chemotherapy process, and spoke about on-going clinical trials. They spoke of the many resources available to us from family counselors to patient advocates. We watched interviews with cancer survivors. One that hit home was a young fellow whose wife became pregnant during his chemo therapy. “I have someone to fight for,” said the fellow, as he bounced his 13 month toddler on his lap. At lunch, we agreed that Andrew has three gorgeous kids - more than enough reason - to fight this ‘beast’ for. They need their Dad. I signed up the boys for a five week kids/teens support group specifically for children who have a parent with cancer. Answer to prayer: we received a phone call yesterday afternoon from our melanoma oncologist Dr. Corbett’s nurse. Our first appointment to meet him has been moved up from February 3rd, to this morning! Thank you to everyone who has been praying that we be lifted out of the waiting place. So while the waiting and staying place afforded us time to reflect, now is the time to move on. This morning’s meeting will be an opportunity to begin asking some of the tough and somewhat scary questions and mapping out a management plan for dealing with Andrew’s cancer. We’re both really looking forward to this meeting and to moving on to the next step in our journey. Thanks for walking with us. We’ll keep you posted. |
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"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" (John Lennon) |
Monday January 27, 2003 12:15 PM |
Without fail, the Aussie contingent reported on the astounding heat that kept all Australia Day celebrations in tandem with a cold drink and/or a body of water. You must have sent some of the heat our way because Sunday the temps soared from minus 22 all the way into the teens. The kids headed for the park with sleds and snowboards, dressed in tee-shirts and snowpants. Although it sounds like a recipe for disaster, each of the kids had a friend come for a sleepover. There must have been a special dispensation poured out because there was no fighting, complaint or injury the entire weekend. Andrew and I had more time to ourselves than you can imagine. Mind you, I’m cleaning up the aftermath today. It was still worth it. We celebrated Australia Day with a roast lamb dinner. My Mum joined us as everyone reminisced over their favorite Aussie memories. Grace, who turned four shortly after we arrived in Calgary, remembered briefly getting lost in the reserve lands beside Andrew’s sister’s property. She also recalled how her big cousin Alex rescued her. David and Michael remembered winning prize ribbons at the Armidale Show for their unforgettable craft entries such as “The Statue of Wormity” and a joint-venture robot made of tin cans, boxes and silver paint. We spoke of sightings: possums, echidnas, snakes and roos. My Mum brought over a fine bottle of Australian Merlot and that went down very, very well. Celebrations and home-made traditions have always played a large part of our family life. Tracing the memories cements in each of us the importance of relishing life. For me, it is another conscious act of letting go of the ‘small stuff’. Andrew and I watched “I am Sam” last night. I was thoroughly engaged. Most of the videos have left my mind wandering to other places but this one struck a chord. Thanks to those who recommended it. |
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Saturday morning ramble. |
Saturday January 25, 2003 09:50 AM |
In the muffled distance I hear the movie soundtrack from “The Mission”. Grace is chattering to Andrew about pancakes, eggs and fruit salad. Andrew is asking her advice on how much baking powder to use in the batter. I smell fresh coffee brewing. I hear Grace say, “I love the smell of Saturday morning.” What a pleasant way to wake up. For the Aussie audience, the temperature is still hovering around minus 22 Celsius. Enjoy Australia day for us (regale me with tales of b.b.q.’s and camping trips. Rub the salt in the wound. I want to hear it all.) David spent the night at a friend’s house. The boys are snowboarding at the park behind our house this morning. Michael is reading a “Calvin and Hobbes” collection. The dog is looking hungry. While Andrew’s appetite is still voracious, mine has dwindled. Food has lost its appeal. I eat because I know I should. But then the other day, David’s teacher sent over a batch of cranberry banana muffins. I ate one and it was so good. My big regret is that before I could eat another, I discovered the bag of muffins had been mysteriously spirited off the kitchen counter. There was a crumb trail leading to below the dining room table. The mangled, plastic bag bore evidence of mandibles and claws. No need for C.S.I. to investigate this crime scene. The guilty canine looked up at me and licked his chops. “Into the sin bin,” I roared, as he sheepishly headed for his kennel in the basement. Once again, thank you for all your support and friendship. I want to thank Jim for setting up this blog. This tool allows us to keep you updated while saving me from telling the story repeatedly. You can check in when you want and not feel obligated to respond. Hmmm... that bacon does smell good. Well folks, have a pleasant weekend. Ours is off to a very fine start. How are you spending yours? |
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Who needs a new brain? |
Thursday January 23, 2003 04:10 PM |
The fridge is re-stocked, Grace has her toothpaste and today was a better day. Andrew stayed home because he over did it a bit yesterday. I was merrily unpacking the groceries when I suddenly realized that I had totally forgotten to pick up Grace after school! I was supposed to pick her up and then off to piano lessons. I was only half an hour late in picking her up. She wasn’t fussed and in fact was quite happy with the knowledge that I had cancelled her lesson. Who needs a new brain? Maybe just a decent night’s sleep |
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Where the Hakken-Kraks howl |
Thursday January 23 2003 12:13 PM |
But on you will go though the weather be foul On you will go though your enemies prowl On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl (From “Oh, The Places You’ll Go”) Andrew went to the office yesterday and I had great plans to reclaim the house, so to speak. As you know, ‘tis a strange place we inhabit right now. I find the simplest tasks quite overwhelming. For those who know me - social event planner, visionaire and domestic project manager extraordinaire, this is very unlike me to let the household run out of basics like milk, juice and eggs. Grace has been patiently waiting for me to replenish her brand of toothpaste for days. Overdue video rentals accumulate. And for those who really know me, housekeeping is not my forte. I was puttering around, making beds and frequently checking my e-mail (a source of great encouragement) when I received a note from an old friend who is renowned in cancer research. His wise words cut through me like a knife as I realized just how serious this stuff is. I became chilled, tears welled up and before I knew it I was lost in the irrational black hole of despair. I called Jody, a dear friend, and left a distress call on her voice-mail. Within ten minutes she was at the door. We sat at the dining room table and wept, ranted and raged. Then, we screamed because Jody said quietly, “Judy, there is a mouse in front of the refrigerator.” We screamed and we laughed and I went and fetched Winston, the goofy basset hound. I ordered him to stand guard by the fridge and make loud crunchy noises (I gave him a rawhide to chew). At least he could pretend to be ferocious. He looked at me with that basset look of “tell me again exactly what you want me to do?” Then, he chewed his treat, turned and walked away. Well, the whole mouse thing chased away the ‘Hakken-Kraks’ faster than anything. Later on, another friend sent around her special box marked “mouse hunting”. After dinner we heard the mouse trap snap and the intruder was dead (sorry to those sympathetic to mice, but it was time for him to exit the scene). Thank God for little distractions that come in surprising packages and bring us back to earth (a mouse for goodness sake!). Thank God for friends who drop everything and come to my rescue. Thank God for Andrew, the love of my life. On a logistical note, my brother has set up a forum. If you want to post comments or thoughts feel free to use this tool. Just below “e-mail the Warks” there is a little banner called “Discussion Group”. There are instructions about logging on. We welcome your comments and feedback. Of course, you can always use the e-mail for private communication. We are not able to answer everything, but please know that every e-mail has been read and appreciated. Later on today my brother is posting one of my favorite photos of Andrew, leaning into the wind at Nose Hill Park. It was one of those wild and windy days and atop the hill we had a gorgeous view of the Rockies. I am reminded of one of our favorite psalms, 121. “I lift up my eyes to the mountains. From whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.”  |
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Stuck in Neutral |
Tuesday January 21, 2003 09:47 PM |
I learned to drive on a manual transmission and I can still remember grinding the gears. You know the feeling...releasing the clutch and not shifting at exactly the right moment? Well that abrasive sound somewhat captures my mood this evening. To some degree, the events of Andrew’s headaches and subsequent biopsy of the brain tumor have overtaken us. From the moment he went into Emergency, at Foothills Hospital, he seemed to be fast tracked into cat scans, MRIs and the surgery. However, since he was released last Friday, the wheels have ground to a halt and we’re somewhat stuck in neutral. Only it isn’t neutral. We have had a verbal report which indicates that we are dealing with what appears to be metastasized melanoma. This means that the tumors in Andrew’s brain probably originate from some form of skin cancer somewhere else in his body (this site is yet to be found). The pathology report will be sent to the oncology team and we have been given an initial clinic appointment with the oncologist for Monday February 3rd. The doctor we have been assigned to is out of town next week. So here we are. Pray that we can get through the next ten days or so without driving ourselves crazy. Once we understand more of what we are dealing with and get on a management plan, I think this will the gears will engage quite quickly and we’ll be back on the highway to healing. I take solace in the fact that God is greater than slow pathologists. God is greater than oncologists who are not available and, most of all, God is greater than my need to know. Again, many many thanks for the wonderful packages of care sent to our door and for the e-mails and cards that have flooded in. We have so enjoyed renewing friendships and want to hear all about your lives as well. There are some new black and white pictures on-line. They are directly below the last set of colour prints. Anyone who wants to see the scar will have to e-mail directly. For mature audiences only. |
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"Gracie wants a hug" |
Tuesday January 21 2003 5:36 AM |
Over the weekend I noticed that Grace has started speaking to Andrew and me in third person. “Gracie wants to watch tv”, “Gracie wants Mummy to read her a story”, “Gracie is tired”. On Sunday evening, I was putting her to bed and I asked her, “Do you talk to everyone like this now?” No, apparently this is just for Mummy and Daddy. I said “I haven’t heard you ask to be called “Gracie” in a long time. “Mummy,” she replied, “Gracie is your baby and Gracie is scared. “Gracie is scared of Daddy’s tumors.” Break my heart, friends. Deep inside in the heart of my brave, big seven-year old daughter, Grace; and my wild and wonderful nine-year old David; and my smart and sensitive 12-year old Michael, are three little kids who are very scared right now. A word to the Bow Valley Worship Team: also on Sunday night, when I was kissing Grace good night, she said, “I’m trading away all my fears, my sorrows and Daddy’s sickness.” “For what?” I asked. “I’m trading them for the joy of the Lord.” That song we sung on Sunday lifted the heart of Gracie in ways you’ll never know. Every worship song and psalm hits home with new reality because this is life is right now. Please keep an eye out for the kids. We’re trying to keep things as normal as possible, but who knows what that means. Thanks for the great movie suggestions. |
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The Waiting Place |
Sunday January 19 2003 3:43 PM |
I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true but Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch. You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump. And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. This excerpt from one of Andrew’s favorite books, “Oh, the places you’ll go!” by Dr. Seuss, pretty much sums up where we’re at right now. In a slump and waiting. We’ve come to the end of a restorative weekend. Andrew has had lots of naps and felt quite pampered by all goodies and bouquets sent from colleagues, friends and family. And I’d like to report that for the first time in ages, I slept well. The “waiting place” is never a fun place to be. For me, there are times when I feel, with God’s help we can get through anything, and then I’ll be caught off guard, like Friday, when I went to Michael’s school to let them know what is happening. The secretary took what seemed like ages to get around to me and when she finally did and I started to tell her that my husband is seriously ill and that I wanted Michael’s teachers to keep an eye out for him, I just lost it and started bawling. I had to leave. Never done that before. On the other hand, Andrew is wonderful. Yesterday, we were talking about the three Israelite young men, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. These guys were in Babylon, under King Nebuchadnezzer. He had this magnificent idol erected to his glory and ordered everyone to worship him. These three kids wouldn’t bow down. The King, in his self-grandisement, ordered the Israelites to their deaths in a fiery furnace. A spokesman for the three said, “We know our God can deliver us, but even if he doesn’t, we will never bow down to you or your image.” Well, that about sums up Andrew’s feeling about all of this. We don’t know the depths of what we’re facing yet, but even if it is the worst case scenario, we know that the Lord will be with us through every single moment and we won’t give up fighting. On a much lighter note, the video rental place was a huge disappointment and my film choices struck out every time. Mind you, the kids really liked “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” Help! Please e-mail me suggestions for 1) your all time favorite feel good movie or 2) your all time favorite film. I can’t guarantee that we’ll rent it, but I need to broaden my horizons. Don’t give me a whole list. Just one will do, and let me know why you liked it. Oh, at this moment, please avoid anything with subtitles. As much as we really like foreign films, Andrew doesn’t have the energy right now. Our home is filled with the sweet fragrance of hyacinths and flowers. Special thanks to my mum, Alice, who dropped everything to baby-sit the kids when needed. Thank you to Linda, Gord and family. Also to the staff at Balmoral Jr. High School. Thanks to Fred for flowers and cookies. Thank you to everyone at work for the goodies (Mo, Andrew’s asking for your somosas). Thank you Learning Commons guys for the gorgeous flowers. To everyone who visited at the hospital, a big thankyou - Latha & Jeffrey, Fred, Karen, Rick, Ian and Sandy, Vicky, Roman (thanks for the book), Donna (thanks for the treats). Thank you Cathy for the coffee and being available to distract the kids. Thanks to Jim and Edna for babysitting the dog. I know I’ve missed someone, but please know that every visit, every prayer, every good wish is received and appreciated by all of us. And to finish, I quote Grace’s dear friend Alanna, a courageous 7 year old who is battling cancer, “Bring it on!” |
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Andrew's favorite book |
Sunday January 19 2003 3:40 PM |
Oh, the Places You'll Go! By Dr. Seuss Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go. You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there." With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street. And you may not find any you'll want to go down. In that case, of course, you'll head straight out of town. It's opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don't worry. Don't stew. Just go right along. You'll start happening too. OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO! You'll be on your way up! You'll be seeing great sights! You'll join the high fliers who soar to high heights. You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest. Except when you don' t Because, sometimes, you won't. I'm sorry to say so but, sadly, it's true but Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch. You'll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump. And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And IF you go in, should you turn left or right... or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind. You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place. The Waiting Place... ...for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting. NO! That's not for you! Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying. You'll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you'll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you're that kind of a guy! Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. there are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV. Except when they don't. Because, sometimes, they won't. I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you. All Alone! Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot. And when you're alone, there's a very good chance you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won't want to go on. But on you will go though the weather be foul On you will go though your enemies prowl On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike and I know you'll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are. You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.) KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS! So... be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea, you're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way! ---Dr. Seuss |
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| Friday, January 17, 2003 |
Together again |
Friday afternoon update. My man is home! After my root canal this morning (yes, I must be a glutton for punishment) I was about to head to the hospital for a visit when Andrew called and said, “Come pick me up, I’m being discharged.” So no news as yet of a prognosis. The charge nurse let us know that the most thorough, yet slowest pathologist in Calgary is working on Andrew’s biopsy. But waiting together at home is far better than hanging out at the hospital. Personally, I suspect they needed his bed. So I went to the video shop and rented lots of silly comedies so we as a family can be healed with laughter. Oh, check out this link which takes you to a little photo gallery of Andrew and family, taken yesterday and this morning. http://www3.telus.net/hope/andrew/wark0301/ You can also try clicking on the little family photo and that may take you to the photo gallery. Have a great weekend, we certainly plan to. Judy, Andrew, Michael, David and Grace |
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| Thursday, January 16, 2003 |
A good day |
Thursday Jan 16, evening update: As we were driving home this evening from visiting Andrew, the boys were talking about how they were going to look for the biggest magnet they could find in the house, to see if it would stick to Andrew’s stapled head. I asked, “When exactly did your father become a science experiment?” They still thought it was a good idea until we starting talking about sterile environments. Andrew is have a recovering nicely. He is back in with his old roomie, Bill Hayes, an 81 year old retired Saskatchewan farmer who broke his neck on Christmas eve. Much to the fascination of the kids, Bill has to wear what appears to be a steel framed halo for three months. When asked how he is doing, Bill replies, “I’m looking forward, can’t turn in any other direction.” In admiration, we observe that Bill’s genuine positive attitude is contributing to his healing. During that enforced rest period, I managed to squeeze in Andrew’s bed and side by side, we fell asleep. A mate from work, Karen Thomas, apparently popped by and saw the two of us, but didn’t have the heart to wake us. Karen, Andrew adored the basket of goodies you left (celebrity gossip magazines that you only get to read in the doctor’s office, journal/pen, snacks, coffee mug, tea). And I really appreciated the gift certificates for take out. That will really come in handy. I can tell you’ve done this shtick before. And I must tell you that Andrew was served something for supper that might have once resembled meat loaf. He did not bat his eye lashes and ask for seconds! Well, that’s it for tonight. We are still in the holding pattern regarding pathology and reports. I promise to keep you posted. At peace, Judy |
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| Wednesday, January 15, 2003 |
Steroid Munchies |
About 3:00pm I was allowed to see Andrew in recovery. He was awake and hungry. I was surprised he looked so good for a guy who just had brain surgery. The operation took exactly an hour and the doctor said he cleanly removed a tumor about the size of a grape as well as a large blood clot. After waiting several hours in recovery, a bed was finally made available for Andrew about 5:40 this afternoon. I was waiting in the unit and overheard someone saying their patient was being transferred by ambulance to Edmonton. The shortage of beds in acute care was very high today due to various trauma patients. Never the less, Andrew was well taken care of. His head is not swathed in bandages, in fact he has a smallish dressing. I must tell you that he did have a very bad hair day, but that can be forgiven under these circumstances. The nurses in recovery fed him a roast beef dinner and then somehow, I think by flashing puppy dog eyes, he managed to be given another one upstairs. The nurses tell us that the steroids stimulate the appetite, however, Andrew hadn't eaten in nearly 22 hours. The neurosurgeon came by this evening. We'll have a detailed report within the next several days. Andrew should be out by Saturday. For local friends in Calgary, Andrew would love a few visitors. The visiting hours are from 11:00am until 9:00 pm, with the exception of a rest period (strictly enforced) between 1:00 and 2:30. I'll take a break from updates until we have a detailed prognosis and a management strategy. I'll send out an e-mail alert when the next blog goes up. Thank you again for all your support and the flood of greetings and e-mail. I have passed them all on to Andrew. Jody, the chicken and rice was a treat.Thank you. Oh, I spoke with Grace this afternoon and told her that Daddy was just fine and that he hadn't forgotten anything. She immediately replied, "I think he may have forgotten that your wedding anniversary is coming up soon, you better remind him." God bless you for caring for us, Judy, Andrew, Michael, David and Grace |
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| Wednesday, January 15, 2003 |
Wednesday Noon update |
Andrew¹s surgery went well, without any complications. I just spoke with the charge nurse, Heather, in neurology. She said that he is in recovery, waiting for a bed to open up in the acute care section of her ward. So, we¹re in a bit of a holding pattern, somewhat akin to when the plane has to circle the city, waiting for a bay to open up to dock at. So, I¹m to check back in a couple of hours. Heather is trying to move some of the other patients to other hospitals, to make room for the ones coming up, like Andrew, from recovery. That¹s it. I haven¹t spoken to any doctors yet. I¹ll head down to Foothills as soon as I have word that he is back in neuro. Thanks again, Judy |
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| Wednesday, January 15, 2003 |
"Is it okay to be scared?" |
Out of the mouths of babes. With Andrew sprung from Foothills on a day pass, we popped in on the team at the Uni and then over to VoicePrint (where I volunteer). We came home for a nap in the afternoon awaking as the kids started arriving home from school. During dinner, David asked, "Dad, is it okay to be scared?" We are all trying to be very, very brave. And in fact, Andrew isn't trying, he just is. But this awakened my heart to the fact that it is okay to be scared. There are times when our little lives seem so ordered, blessed and in control. Then something like this is hurled at us and our worlds are turned upside down, especially when it touches the people who we love the most. In the last few days, Andrew and I have really tasted what it means to be carried on the prayer and comfort of our families and friends. I can't really describe what that is like but there is this recognition that when events are unfolding, which are larger than the average bear, there is a greater love which holds us through it. You know, that man of mine gets to me like no-one else can. At lunch yesterday he said, "It's not so much what gets hurled at us but how we respond that matters." At about 6:10 this morning Andrew called. He's showered and the IV line is in as he's being prepped. He slept really well, until awakened at 5:30 to have blood drawn. Well folks, we're off to the races. I'll send another update when I get home tonight. We should have a preliminary report of what we're dealing with by then. Thanks again. Judy |
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| Monday, January 13, 2003
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Addendum of thanks |
Andrew wanted to let everyone know how overwhelmed he is by the outpouring of care, concern and prayer from all over the world. He is humbled by his moment of celebrity, and told me, "there must be easier ways to gain world-wide attention." Not that he was looking for it! We are touched deeply and experience the peace of God throughout all. On a practical note, thanks to Donelda for the wonderful macaroni and cheese dinner (exactly the comfort food the kids wanted) waiting when I came home from being at the hospital all day. Thanks to Cathy for the soup and bread. And for all who have offered help, I am personally grateful. Judy |
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| Monday, January 13, 2003
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Overwhelmed
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Today's events didn't transpire exactly as we imagined. When we last left our hero, he was scheduled for a liver biopsy, a much less invasive procedure than a brain biopsy. I went to the hospital this morning and rested in his bed, while he went down to radiology for the event. About 90 minutes later, he came back up and said, "The lesions in the liver were too small to get a sampling. The radiologist didn't think thought they were unrelated to the ones in the brain." After further ado, we received a report from the neurologist that we have to go back to the brain. So, the biopsy is scheduled for Wednesday morning about 8:00am. Dr. Hamilton, a top pediatric neurosurgeon has been asked to do the biopsy, because his expertise is in a technique called, "image guided sterotaxy". The surgeon attaches six plastic dots to Andrew's scalp, and then performs and MRI. Then, in the operating room, the information is transferred to computers which guide the neurosurgeon to the precise location of the lesion. He is going for one of the lesions located towards the back of the brain where the risks are less. So, Andrew will come home on a day pass tomorrow and check in again tomorrow evening. He is feeling pretty good. We go ahead because this is the one step out of the "quagmire of unknowing." Take care, I plan to sleep much better tonight. Judy and Andrew | |
Andrew slept well through the night for the first time in two weeks. I was a different case. Kept waking up at various times, thinking, pondering, praying. Wished I was sleeping.
We went to church today and from the time we started singing the first worship song, I was a weepy wreck. I must have gone through half a box of tissues, before we left the premises. Afterwards, the elders gathered together with Andrew and prayed for him. Wonderful fellows. One by one, they prayed for healing and wisdom for doctors, radiologists, surgeons. And then an older voice prayed, "Lord, let tomorrow's autopsy clearly show what's wrong with Andrew." I nearly laughed, but restrained myself accordingly. We're not ready for that one yet. He meant well.
After a quiet afternoon, I took Andrew back to check into the hospital. The nurse gave us some very good news. Instead of a biopsy of the brain lesions, which would have been quite invasive, the neurologist and radiologist are going take a closer look at his liver and try to get a sample from there. They'll use a local and a long needle to puncture the site. Hopefully, we'll have some answers soon.
We are so relieved that at this stage, they aren't going to open Andrew up.
To everyone, I'll use this site to give updates. If you have any questions, please e-mail.
Thanks again,
Judy and Andrew