WHAT WILL MY PARTNER THINK? Your participation in Erosha will be kept entirely confidential. But because Erosha is so beneficial, we encourage you to be open and frank, especially with your partner. However, when a person learns that their partner is interested in Erosha they often feel threatened. Such fear is natural because normally when one partner gets sexually involved with a third party, the cou ple's relationship is harmed. Normal sexual activity outside the relationship, such as an affair or liaison with a prostitute, risks emotional entanglement and even sexual disease. But Erosha with a trained professional is very different from a romantic affair or sex with a prostitute. Erosha involves a highly disciplined erotic ceremony which is not at all like sex as most of us know it. There is no intercourse, no risk of sexual disease, and the professional does not get emotionally involved with the client. A solemn rule of the Code of Ethics governing Erosha trainers is that they have no erotic contact with a client other than t hat which occurs during the Erosha ceremony. This rule applies not only during the currency of the professional relationship but also for three months after the professional relationship has ended. Still, many people will react with offence and even disgust at the thought of their partner participating in an erotic ceremony with an Erosha professional, even though the contact poses no real threat to th e couple's relationship. This negativity is the result of powerful conditioning which is common in a sex-negative culture. Such deeply ingrained feelings are usually only overcome when we recognize the enormous benefits of Erosha not only to one's partn er, but especially to the relationship. The most obvious benefit to the relationship is to improve lovemaking skills. This is not the intention of the Erosha process, but a wonderful by-product. Erosha cultivates full-body sensuality, helps heal erotic wounds, and increases erotic responsiveness; sex with a person experienced in Erosha becomes more interesting and varied, less genitally focused and routine. Erosha is also conducive to greater emotional intimacy in the relationship. The greater our experience with erosflow, the greater our capability for intimacy, with our self and with those around us. Erosfl ow experience involves profound intimacy with the self, and the more we become open and accepting of our self, the more we are open to the essence of others. The partner of the Erosha student will be the prime beneficiary of this new intimacy. Erosha provides a safe and growthful alternative to complete erotic exclusivity. The erotic appetites of many couples are not perfectly matched. Some people have little interest in sex while their partners have much greater erotic appetites. Further, even if these appetites are balanced, one or both partners may have a need for erotic variety, reluctant to confine all of their erotic contact to one person. They seek erotic variety for the same reason any one seeks variety in any other domain of life, simply for its newness. Prior to Erosha the only way to satisfy normal and healthy erotic needs that are not met by the relationship was to have an affair, visit a prostitute, engage in "swinging" or anonymous sex. But all of thes e contacts are dangerous in one way or another. Erosha allows partners to satisfy their erotic appetite and their needs for variety through a process that reinforces rather than threatens their partnership.

CHAPTER 4

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