When getting the idea proposed to you by a friend to write an article on his website you may or may not be flattered by the idea. I was neither. I just figured my buddy Bryx had nothing better to do and figured once he told me about his website he may as well get over the uncomfortableness (yah its a word) and ask if I would like to send in stuff. I said yes because this is a website for jerks by jerks. And to be quite honest, I like to think of myself as a bit of an asshole. Just ask all my former girlfriends! Then became the undaunting task of deciding what to write about. Stuff that pisses me off is just too damn easy because everything pisses me off. You will come to learn exactly what very soon. But do not despair for this will not be about me ranting; I will include many other things. Depending if Kelly likes this first dealie here and lets me do other shit.

So without further ado, I will be starting off by ontaking a rather simple feat of which many people already do on web sites....and review movies. I know what you are thinking now. Movies...whoopee fucking doo. Two things I have to say to those who retorted with that statement. Number one....fuck you I like movies. And number two it was either this or do reviews for Star Trek Deep Space Nine and trekkies are a bunch of smelly, leacherous, 30 year olds who still live with their parents and masterbate with spam while eating cauliflower. And I haven't quite gotten to that point yet kids! I will do older movies of which I think have important significance or I just want to talk about them. And thats what I will be doing with my time. And perhaps I may go off on a rant or two, depending on what I'm thinking about at the time.

TO THE REVIEW!!!!
So my first review will begin now with a movie I'm sure most of you have seen already. I'm speaking of The Matrix Reloaded. This movie has been hyped up ever since the first one came out. Unfortunately I had to watch this little film in my shitty city of Yorkton (I'm from Saskatchewan). The theatre itself is actually quite nice with the old fashioned 1950's style touch it posesses. But the thing about this theatre that chaps my ass is that it does not get new movies until about 3 to 4 weeks AFTER it has been released elsewhere. So when I did see Reloaded, it had already been released for 3 weeks and I also found out that it been already knocked off the number 1 spot. But this did not deter me. I was ready to watch some kick ass action and an intriguing plot unfolding. Well to be honest I was kind of disappointed. After hearing that the film creators were going to be developing a new kind of movie technology for each film, what I saw in Reloaded kind of made me....limp. What was this all great new technology? Making Keanu Reeves actually act? As far as I could tell there was nothing I had already seen in this flick that I haven't already seen in numerous others.

The fact that Agent Smith looks like even more of a badass made me giggle like a feverish schollgirl who had seen their first dick was pretty damn well worth the admission. And the crazy ass long fight scnese were pretty intense too, but there was just something lacking from the first. Carrie-Ann Moss who plays Trinity was just looking like repeatedly run over baby shit in this one. Not that she looked any better in the first one, but good lord was I ever suffering while watching that orgy scene in Zion. And by the way...what the hell was that even about? I'm actually thinking that the Wachowski brother had never intended on this movie pushing into a trilogy just like George Lucas says he had the Star Wars prequels already drawn up BEFORE the original trilogy. Yeah right, don't even get me started on the continuity errors there! But really. Was I the only while sitting in the theatre and watching this feel a little bit.....confused? I mean the whole thing about cause and effect....effect and cause.....push...pull...red blue pill....holy fuck! I was under the distinct impression the brothers were trying to push way too much information in the tiny segment offered for the Matrix's explanation.

Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the movie so much I saw it another 2 times, and it sunk in a little more. So maybe the Wachowski brothers are either geniuses for making people feel stupid and therefore seeing the movie another time and in turn making more bank for themselves, or they are pulling a Lucas. Whatever the reason may be I still likes the movie, but I have to admit during the third viewing and hearing super guy explain to Neo about his purpose of being "The One" in the Matrix I was actually thinking about which porn flick I was going to watch when I got home. Hey I'm a guy I'm allowed to think these things. And if you haven't already read my first rant move your fucking mouse and check it out. And you will understand my affinity for porn. Thats it for now kids, I'm Carlos and I will be here anytime I want to be so be a frequent jerk (hmmm....) and keep checking this shit out, we never disappoint.
cheers............

Carlos Loves the Sexy Letters