Tony’s usual one hundred watt smile and infectious good cheer had been MIA for forty-eight hours. Not that he wasn’t allowed to have off-days, Kate admitted to herself, watching him walk towards the coffee room, but it was decidedly unlikely that it would last this long. She’d known him for over a year, and she could count the times he’d been like this for more than a couple of hours on one hand. Without using all the fingers. No, something was definitely going on with her friend, and it was high time someone found out what.

Her hand was halfway to the phone before she stopped herself. No, she couldn’t call Gibbs. Not yet, anyway. Their boss was in the middle of two weeks enforced leave, a product of not taking holidays for three years, and the director had given their entire department explicit instructions not to go calling him if it could be at all helped. Gibbs had given them contradictory instructions, of course, but Kate knew that he needed the break as much as the doctors thought he did, and as much as he himself denied needing it at all. He was probably in his basement, working away on his boat, slowly relaxing and gearing down a little. But if she called him, and told him that she thought there was something wrong with Tony... No, that wouldn’t do any of them any good. He might have known Tony longer than she had, but that didn’t necessarily mean that he knew what might be wrong.

Abby then, or Ducky? Kate turned the ideas over in her mind. No, probably not. They might have noticed his mood as well, but as much as she thought he liked them and considered them friends, she didn’t think he would confide in them.

That meant it was up to her. Right then.

Tony came back from the coffee room empty-handed. “What’s wrong with the coffee, besides the usual?” Kate asked him, hoping maybe he would start teasing her.

Instead, he shrugged listlessly. “Didn’t see much point in taking any. I think I’m going.”

“Leaving? Now?” It was the end of the day, but if he left now, she wouldn’t see him for two whole days. Even with Gibbs’ absence, they maintained their twelve days on, two days off schedule, and this was their weekend off. They were on call, of course, but unless something untoward happened, Kate wouldn’t talk to him again before Monday. Who knew what could happen to his mood in that time?

“Yeah, I’ve got a family thing this weekend. Thought I might get a head start on the driving.” He turned off his computer and desk lamp. “How about you, Kate? Doing anything this weekend?”

She shrugged. “No plans. I thought about flannel pajamas, buttered popcorn, and a movie one night.”

He eyed her, almost greedily. “That sounds nice.”

Kate blinked. There was an undertone there, but she had no idea what it could mean. Whatever else, he was actually serious about her stay-in plans. This was bad, very bad. “Hey,” she said as he turned to get his jacket. “You want to get some dinner? Before you start driving?” He hesitated, so she sweetened the pot. “I’ll buy.”

Half an hour later, they were sitting at a small table in their favourite Chinese restaurant, ordering more dishes than the two of them could possibly eat. “We should’ve called Gibbs,” Tony said, handing his menu to the waiter. “He must miss us.”

“And he probably hasn’t eaten properly in days,” Kate agreed. “You know how he gets.”

“I do.” Tony grinned at her. That was encouraging, even if the smile was still lacking in intensity.

Kate raised her green tea to her lips and took a drink, preparatory to beginning what she hoped wouldn’t feel like an interrogation. “So you’ve got dinner with the family?” she asked. His expression fell immediately. What, had she hit it right off? What would be the chances? “What is it, Tony?” she asked.

“Nothing, Kate, really,” he said, not looking at her. Then he started to push his water glass around, streaking condensation across the tiled table surface.

“Nothing,” she said. “Really.”

He didn’t answer for a moment. Finally, he pursed his lips and sighed slightly. “I don’t really want to go,” he said.

Kate looked at him closely. “Tony–” He raised his head. “You’re Italian. How can you not want to go to a family dinner? Or is your family a train-wreck, like mine?”

He chuckled and ducked his head. “No, my family’s great. But... I have a new cousin-in-law this year, and I’d kind of rather avoid her.”

“Why?”

“Because I dated her, a long time ago.”

Kate whistled silently and leaned back in her chair. “That could be awkward. How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long did you date her for?”

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. “Oh, not long. Just two... maybe three... years.”

“Years?” Kate leaned forward over the table. “Years, DiNozzo?”

“Say it louder, Kate; I don’t think the whole restaurant heard you,” he snapped, pushing back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. Immediately, he looked apologetic. “Sorry.”

She waved it off. “You just surprised me. I mean, I’ve only known you to stay with one woman for, what, three weeks, tops?”

He shrugged and went back to looking at his water glass. “Annette kind of turned me off long-term relationships for a while.”

“Went badly, did it?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You have no idea.”

“And then she married your cousin?”

He tossed his hair back out of his eyes. The smile he gave her was self-deprecating. “Ain’t life grand?”

“No wonder you’ve been in a bad mood.”

“Bad mood? Who says I’ve–” He stopped before he could really get rolling. “Yeah,” he said slowly. “I guess I have.”

“So why go?” Kate asked. “Call your parents up, tell them you have to work.”

“It’s my parents’ thirty-seventh anniversary, Kate, even if they’re just using it as an excuse for a family dinner. I can’t not go. Besides, I don’t see the rest of the family that often anymore. That’ll be worth the trip.”

“You sound like you’re trying to convince yourself.” He glared at her. “What? It’s my fault you have no poker face when you’re unhappy?”

He seemed to come to a decision, because he shook his head slightly, then leaned across the table towards her. She leaned in as well. “See, Kate, here’s the thing. Every time I’m home, my mom and my aunts are after me to settle down, meet a nice girl and raise a bunch of kids. And usually I’m okay with that. It’s a little annoying, but whatever. That’s life in my family. But tomorrow, with Annette being there...” He frowned. “I’m just not in the mood for it.”

“I can see that,” Kate said slowly. Thinking, she took the paper off her chopsticks and began to roll it between her fingertips. “There has to be some way to take the pressure off you. Distract them, maybe. Can you tell them you’re seeing someone?”

He shook his head. “They’ll want to know about her, and then they’ll wonder why I didn’t bring her. That’s a lot of lies to keep straight, even if my mother doesn’t see right through it.” He smiled a little. “You know how, sometimes, people our age get into situations where, in spite of everything we’ve accomplished, we’re made to feel like nothing because we haven’t paired up yet?”

Kate laughed humourlessly. “Don’t I,” she said. “You’re not the only one, you know.”

Tony took a sip of his water, and his brow furrowed. “I thought about taking someone with me, just showing up with someone–”

“And your parents wouldn’t think that was suspicious? Randomly bringing someone to their anniversary dinner?”

He shook his head. “They always want to meet my friends. They’re the kind of parents whose door is always open, no matter what.” He looked up at her, as if gauging her understanding. Her family wasn’t like that at all, but she’d had friends whose families were, so she nodded. “Anyway, I thought about it, but I couldn’t think of anyone...”

“Safe?” Kate supplied.

He nodded. “Exactly. Taking a girl to meet the family… She’d probably get the wrong idea. And if I told her why I wanted to take her, she probably wouldn’t want to go. And she wouldn’t want to see me again. So it’s easier just to...” He shrugged. “...deal with it.”

Kate sighed. “I hate to see you like this, Tony,” she said. “I wish there was something I could do.”

He reached across the table and gripped her hand briefly, smiling. “This is enough, Kate. I feel better.”

“But it’s just dinner. You’re still going to go off to face this alone...” She stopped, struck by a sudden thought. “Why don’t I go with you?”

Tony stared at her. “Are you crazy?” he asked.

“No, why not?” she said. “I won’t get the wrong idea, and having me there will at least take the matron pressure off.”

“Kate, you don’t want to give up your weekend just for–”

“Oh, yeah, Tony, I’d be giving up a lot. Sitting at home reading or watching television, or, Heaven forbid, house cleaning.” She shuddered dramatically.

“Kate, I appreciate it, but really–”

“And we could look at it as practice being undercover. There won’t be a huge back-story; we’ve known each other for a year. We’re just going to have to add some romance to our existing relationship, and we can keep that straight.”

“Kate–”

“It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been a decoy girlfriend. This could work.”

“Kate!” She stopped and looked at him expectantly. “I appreciate the offer, but you really don’t want to meet my family.”

She tipped her head to the side and took a breath, but just then the waiter arrived with their food. She waited until he had put the plates down and departed. “It’s not that I want to meet your family, Tony,” she said. “It’s that I want to help out a friend.” He started to say something, but she held up her hand. “Look, just think about it, okay? You can decide when we’re done eating.”

He looked at her for a moment. “All right,” he conceded. “Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

It was hard at first, because Kate wanted to say more to convince him of the merits of her plan, but except for a little bit of awkwardness at the beginning, conversation flowed smoothly as they ate. She even had him laughing, with almost all of his usual humour, as they made a list of movies that would go well with flannel and popcorn. But eventually, they finished eating, and the waiter brought back the leftover food in ubiquitous Styrofoam containers and left again with Kate’s credit card. She turned to Tony, who was mangling his fortune cookie.

“Well?” she asked.

He glanced up at her, and sighed. “I appreciate the offer, Kate, I really do. But I don’t want to inflict my family on you.” She started to protest, but he ran her over. “I’ll be fine, Kate. I’ll be back to normal on Monday.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He nodded. “You just go home and have a wonderful weekend with Roman Holiday.”

She snorted, and took the slips and pen from the waiter as he brought her credit card back. “I thought we decided on Plan Nine from Outer Space.”

“You can’t watch that one alone; it’s just not funny without a bunch of friends–”

And they were off again. The argument took them out into the parking lot, and then there was an awkward silence as they stood by their cars. “Well,” Kate said, “I hope it goes okay.”

“Thanks,” Tony replied. He smiled at her. “Have a good weekend, Kate.”

She touched his arm. “You too, Tony. See you Monday.”

She got home in short order, and stripped off her work clothes, changing into jeans and a T-shirt. Then she curled up in her armchair with a book. She’d read two chapters when there was a knock on the door. She got up, checked through the peephole, and opened it. Tony leaned on her doorframe, and he looked at her seriously.

“You said you’ve done this before?” he asked. “Been a decoy girlfriend?” She nodded. “Want to take a trip?”

She smiled at him. “Just let me pack.”