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Grandma
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Grandma
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Eulogy For An Exceptional Grandma
Written by Beverly Badke
Presented by grandchildren Beverly & Brenda, June 10/ 2005
We stand before
you representing a family in mourning, astonishment and shock of the recent
unexpected loss of our Grandma, Great Grandma, Mother, Aunty, Sister and
wonderful friend…. Patricia Badke. All of us are united here together not
because she passed away but because Pat truly lived life to the fullest and
touched each of us in some very special ways. She left us all a legacy of love,
lessons, laughs and fond memories for all of us to cherish. We could never sum
up all that Pat has been to each of us with words. We can however provide the
essence of what an amazing lady and magnificent influence she has been in our
lives.
Pat was a victim of a severe stroke, a killer that steals the lives of 16,000
Canadians each year. A stroke is a sudden loss of brain function. It’s caused
by the interruption of the flow of blood to the brain or the rupture of blood
vessels in the brain… both of which cause varying degrees of brain damage.
Stroke is the 4th leading cause of death in Canada. 60% of all
strokes in Canada affect women and roughly 8% of all female deaths are as a
result of a stroke. After age 55 the risk of stroke doubles every 10 years.
Patricia was born in Maple Ridge December 10th 1924 to our Great Grandparents
Ethel and Edward Bolderson. She grew up in the Whonnock and Sapperton areas in a
family with 5 siblings, Muriel, Bill, Jackie and half brothers Roy and George.
Her siblings extended Pats beloved family with 2 nephews, 3 nieces, 2 great
nephews, 1 great niece and 1 Great-great niece. She attended McBride elementary
school to grade 9 and her sister Jackie tells us
that Pat was pretty much a perfect child never giving anyone causes for concern
or getting into trouble. She had a great relationship with her mother and in her
fathers eyes the sun rose and set on Pat. Even as a child Pat had a fascination
for the garden and the kitchen. After her school days, Pat worked as a nanny
looking after a home & children for a family in New Westminster and was also
employed for a time at a veneer plant making plywood.
In her late teens Pat met and eventually married our grandfather. They settled
in the Dawes Hill area and later moved to Mission. In Feb of 1947 their first
child Larry was born & in October 1948 along came Albert. Likely having her
hands very full it was nearly another 3 years to May 1951 when Rick was born.
Imagine if you will, knowing the Badke boys, actually being the mother of
those three boys?
Back then, the
trouble boys got into was different of course compared to current times but from
hearing the lifetime of stories about the 3 boys I can most certainly sum their
antics up to being very closely related to a modern day street gang doing it
country style. Our Grandma had patience and plenty of tolerance for nonsense.
She must have acquired those characteristics early on because in her late 30’s
with her boys all nearing teen age she had the guts to risk another Badke boy in
the home and in June 1961 she was finally blessed with her only daughter and
life long best friend Sandra.
She worked very hard while raising her children. Pat was no stranger to getting
her hands dirty nor did she fear taking on tasks not meant for ladies. Strong in
spirit, she could be very stubborn and opinionated when she felt it was
justified, a special trait she passed on to most of us Badke women. Patient
nearly to a fault but as son Larry tells it “If you finally pushed her too far
you sure knew it”. She took care of the family farms raising all types of
critters… horses, mink, chickens and cattle to name a few and for many years
maintained the running of the Mission dog pound from the farm. In her spare time
she enjoyed some fishing, gardening, always had a huge veggie garden to feed the
family and kept beautiful flower beds. A regular Betty-Crocker, our Grandma
canned everything humanly possible (this according to her children and
grandchildren was not always a good thing. One can only stand so many crab
apples or green gauge plums!), she was also an excellent baker and she could sew
like nobody’s business.
Pat was a fair,
compassionate, supportive mother with a great sense of humor and continued to
maintain all those great qualities with her 11 Grandchildren and soon to be 9th
Great Grandchild that she was so looking forward to. She loved all of us
unconditionally and defended each of us fiercely…. even when we had done
something wrong. At anytime our families needed her she was always there
lending a hand, cooking, cleaning, listening, providing some wisdom or simply
giving a needed hug or a Bandaid for a scraped elbow. We recently had a good
chuckle over having to hide or throw out worn socks because if Grandma saw them
she would put that 500th darn in them. Waste not, want not, may very
well have been her motto. “Never go out without your jacket” she’d say. She had
many of us brainwashed for years that if you got a chill or a wet head you’d get
pneumonia. Yes we now know you don’t get pneumonia that way but we do know that
at least one of Pats children actually does still believe this.
Pat had a life long love of all animals and in recent years she enjoyed the
squirrels near her home until they got a little too tame and started to ransack
her home like they owned the place. Our Grandma had a serious addiction some of
you may not have been aware of. Our Dad referred to it as “Bingo-i-tis”. She
loved going to bingo! Aunty Coby and Grandma pretty much had a standing
bingo date nearly as old as dirt. Pat was an avid fan & popular cheerleader with
Jimmy’s baseball teams first the Rebels then the Steelers. She attended the
nationals with Jimmy for every game and even traveled to Calgary in support of
her grandson and his fellow teammates. Jimmy stated that she often said if they
lost, “she may very well have to break out the horse whip”, giving them a little
incentive to do her proud and they certainly did. It’s hard to imagine with such
a large family but it seems no one can recall Grandma ever missing a special
event in their lives or even a simple invite for dinner; she was always able to
make the time for her family.
We’ve mentioned the word lady several times and a lady Pat was. I don’t recall in my life, ever hearing Grandma say anything harsher than bugger or ass even if one had done something really rotten so we have no idea where our parents learned some pretty serious swear words. Although we recently discovered a single picture of a young Pat in a pair of pants, never do we remember ever seeing her wear pants. In true lady-like forum she would even ride a horse in a skirt or muck out the barn in a skirt with her gumboots on. A logical, down to earth lady, but nonetheless always a lady.
Pat’s sister when
recently asked, “What made Pat so special to so many people?” replied that
“Pat always did and always gave” a first-rate description to say the least.
Grandma spent a lifetime giving to and caring for others with all her heart and
without complaint.
We’d like to take the time now to share with you a few personal notes from some
of her family.
Granddaughter Crystal
writes:
Most of
the memories that I have of Grandma Badke are ones where she took care of me
growing up. She babysat me during the week, we watched Sesame-Street and ate
bologna sandwiches while playing yahtzee or cards games. I even got her hooked
on playing a Nintendo game that had slot machines and blackjack.
Grandma came to every sports day, graduation, birthday and Christmas that I've ever had. One of my most recent memories was last month when she came over with my mom and said there was a surprise for me. Grandma had bought a beautiful green bassinet for the baby. She was so excited; she waited the whole 2 hours it took us to put it together so she could see how much Jon and I would love it. Grandma was so supportive, thoughtful and giving. Her love for me was never hidden. My only regret is that she'll never be able to hold or cuddle my baby. I'll always remember Grandma for her big blue loving eyes and contagious smile.
Granddaughter Barb
writes:
When I
was a little girl I told everyone that "I had the best grandma in the world" She
wasn't just a grandma that would look after you once every few weeks so that
your mom and dad could go out. My grandma used to give up all her free time to
make sure that we were well cared for while my dad, a single parent, went to
work. She would make us all sorts of goodies, darn our socks when we got holes
in them and not only did she share her bed with me but I also scored ¾ of her
pillow. As I got older she didn't change and even at the age of 12, she still
wouldn't let me cross the road by myself. As you can imagine, at the time I
wasn't to terribly excited about this but looking back now I know that she was
just making sure that I was safe. Now that I have my own children, I can
appreciate her concern because my kids will be lucky if they ever get to cross
the road by themselves. On this past June 6th my dad had brought Grandma over to
my house for a visit and to see our new baby. Although I could tell that he was
a bit too heavy for her to hold, she didn't want to let him go. She was the kind
of woman that cherished the time that she got to spend with all of her
grandchildren and great grandchildren. She was also the kind of woman that
didn't like to complain. Her son Albert (my dad) didn't inherit the same gene.
Let me explain. That same afternoon I made the worst coffee possible and my dad
had no problem telling me that it tasted like dirt, but grandma just smiled and
drank it anyways. She was just that kind of woman. One fine trait my dad did
inherit from grandma was her piercing blue eyes. Although he didn't pass that
trait on to me, every time I look into the blue eyes of my two children, I will
remember the loving look of grandma. I'm very fortunate to have had such a
special lady as my grandma she gave me so many wonderful memories, and I can
still honestly say" I had the best grandma in the world"
Daughter Sandra writes:
I could talk about my mother for hours, she was many things to many people. She
had a way to reach out and touch your heart before you knew it. To me she was
more than my mom. She was my best friend. If asked what would be the one thing
you learned most from Pat Badke it would be, without a doubt, how to
love…...and know you were loved.
5 year old Great
Granddaughter Paris who can’t quite write yet told us:
I really liked feeding the squirrels with my Great Grandma.
She was very, very, nice and I loved her.
Son Albert and partner Arna write:
Mom, We will remember:
-our time and conversations sitting on our sundeck
-the many hours spent doing puzzles at times until 1:30 in the morning
-sitting and listening to your whistle, finger tapping, and teasing as you and Al played crib
-the spunky and lively attitude you always had, sometimes we found it hard to keep up to you
-our road trip to Merritt- when you did 120 kms per hour while covering the speedometer with your hand and said if you don't like it, don't look at it! ( …let me add that Pat was passing a semi at the time… in a no-passing zone)
-We also won’t forget your thoughts of wearing an apron; it would save a lot of time removing stains, as that is….. What aprons are for!
Thank you for:
Your unconditional love, your caring nurturing way, and for setting the best example possible as the way all mothers should be.
Love Forever and
Always, your son Albert and Arna
P.S. from Arna- Thank you for the sharing of your family, the feeling of
belonging and the acceptance of me into your family. I Love you Mom.
Grandson Ian writes:
Grandma
always called me her bud; we shared very special times together. The one
apartment Grandma was living in was fully carpeted down the halls; I would drag
my feet and shock her. She would laugh and then try to get me back. I really
liked stay over with her, whether we watched TV or went to McDonalds, it was
special. Going to the PNE, Grandma would go on the rides with us; the ride we
had a lot of fun on was the water log coaster. She always got wetter than
anyone, (because we would duck down,) but would get right back on again. I've
always known Grandma to be a very strong, loving, funny, caring person, Grandmas
smile and laugh could light up a room. To me she is the World's Greatest
Grandma. She will be in my heart for ever.
Strokes have no
boundaries or prejudice; they kill or severely disable many men, woman and yes
even children every year. When making choices for charitable donations, please
consider supporting the Heart and Stroke Foundation of BC. With ongoing research
perhaps there will be a time in our lives that strokes will not be robbing us of
our loved ones. Let us not allow our Grandma to merely become a statistic. Her
life with us was not merely valued… she was precious like a rare jewel, a
treasure in our lives that all of us will always hold very close to our hearts.
She taught us all well,
she guided us graciously
and we all give thanks for the life of Patricia Badke,
an amazing female influence in our lives,
extraordinary and irreplaceable.