The airport in Ho Chi Minh City , which most still call Saigon, is intimidating even for the seasoned traveler. Treated with a combination of annoyance and suspicion, and bordering on "I've-got-you-by-the-gonads-so-be-nice" by the Department of Intimidation, our entrance is a lesson of humility with a pinch of groveling. It’s hard trying to stay cool when you have the overwhelming desire to explain to various power-tripping officials how best to combine certain parts of their anatomy which are rarely introduced to each other!

In any case, I’ve come to the conclusion that these lemon-tasting lookalikes are such a pain in the arse, it would be helpful if the airport were to provide a resident proctologist!

We emerged from the airport into a waiting swarm of locals, seeking us out like hunting dogs on the scent. Tourists are seen as a "walking wallet" – and everybody wants a piece of the action! 

On a quiet alleyway behind the main traveler’s street in Saigon we found a nice little place to stay called the CAM Mini-Hotel (Mrs. Cam & Sim). A real oasis of calm in a bustling city. A peaceful residential street where families often sit outside to eat their exotic smelling meals. Cages of song birds are set out every day providing lovely sights and sounds. This would be our home for the next ten days.

We explored mostly by foot, but also tried a cyclo, which is kind of local transport. Sort of a cross between a coffin and an ice cream cart, where passengers sit up front of the wheels - to take the brunt of the oncoming traffic. With strange street names we managed to get lost quite often - even with the map! Still it was fun and all kinds of great photo opportunities.

If you’re looking for an adrenaline rush in Saigon or Hanoi it’s as easy as crossing the street. Maneuvering through the increasingly crowded intersections is bound to get the blood pumping. With utter contempt for street lights, stop signs and one-way streets, people seem under the impression they were inoculated against traffic at birth! 

Traffic is a free-for-all and in a constant state of near collision. What is frightening, is that in order to cross a street with the never ending flow of vehicles, you have to gather up the courage to step off right in front of the traffic and walk real slowly through it without stopping - letting traffic weave around you! The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

The horn, as all visitors to Asia learn, is the most important working part of any vehicle - because horn-blowing sheathes you like a prophylactic from harm. At least that's the mind-set of most maniacal drivers here. Blow your magic horn and nothing bad can happen. 

Forget running here, it would be suicidal. I have had to resort to running on the bed in our room to try and keep an edge for my upcoming ultra run. Boring as hell, but at least it's something! 

We have the wonderful Zen vegetarian restaurant right beside Cam’s that serves fabulous food, including lotus-root salads, exotic tofu, hot-pots, and incredible fruit juices (mango, sapodilla, soursop, jackfruit, papaya, dragon fruit etc.) Delicious!

While out walking one night after dark we had a scary experience with a "drive-by snatching". Two thieves on a motorcycle roared up and grabbed Christine's money belt, actually ripping the belt in half. Miraculously she managed to catch it with her elbow and hang on as they sped away. ! 

A VERY close call as all her money, visa, passport, T/Checks etc. were inside. Lesson learned - keep money belts UNDER your clothes. Saigon is a fascinating and seductive city, but danger is never far away!

Home to over 7,000,000 people, Saigon abounds with contrasting images. Beautiful French architecture, horribly deformed beggars, wonderful little cafes, streets reeking of human excrement, steaming fresh croissants, ladies in elegant traditional aodais, the death squeal of a pig, flocks of women in conical hats, ridiculous bicycle loads, rats in the streets, wonderful smiles, suffering animals, exotic foods, nagging cyclo drivers, bustling markets, gut wrenching war museum, coconut sellers, aged street vendors, monks with toques, profusion of smells, curious back alleyways, snake wine, choking pollution, roving massage bikes, squid carts, 4 on a motorcycle, kids selling gum, photocopy booksellers, shoeshine boys, caged snakes/dogs/cats, duck-topped buses, mobile bike garden shops, fruit sellers sitting in tendon-snapping squats, and markets where dinner writhes, wiggles, croaks, clucks, and barks!

Many of the streets in Saigon seem dedicated to a particular product. Jewellery Street, Shoe Street , Bathing Suit Street , Flower Street , etc. I looked hard, but much to my chagrin, never did find a RUM STREET !!!

Walkabouts are interesting but awkward, as sidewalk is somewhat of a misnomer. The ‘sidewalk’ is the centre of family life, and it’s quite common to see make-shift restaurants using coal-fired stoves to cook the family meal, and small stackable plastic stools set up for the residents to sit and eat their evening meals. Also the paths are choked with motor bikes, food stalls, barber shops, etc. which make them virtually impassable. At best I think they could be called “side-stumbles”!  

With 9 tours of Asia under our belts we have never witnessed the traffic insanity of Vietnam! Traffic is getting worse each year, and in 2001 there were 26,874 traffic accidents, with 10,548 killed and 30,175 injured. That means 73 accidents and 110 killed or injured every day of the year! Truly the driving is nuts here, and it’s easy to end up an integral part of somebody’s front bumper, as I think they believe Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash!

Some of the bars are also interesting. Locals sit in rows of plastic lawn chairs all facing the street. Curious to watch them. As they get ‘leg-less’ on snake wine, they think themselves much better looking, more interesting, champion boxers and famous philosophers! 

We made a trip out to the Mekong Delta. Fortunately for the locals, most of the flooding is over now, but it certainly caused a lot of damage. We also traveled by boat from Cai Be up the interesting Mekong River and stopped on one of the small islands for a fish lunch. Great food, although much of it remains a mystery! Had a good lesson on how to use my chopsticks.

Most interesting stops in the village to see locals making rice-paper, puffed rice, candy, etc. We also rode bikes through the small villages and played a game of pool with some local boys. Then after peddling back we had some quiet time to relax under the trees in some comfortable hammocks.

Next, we were off to the magical Phu Quoc Island - a small island 15 km off the coast of Cambodia. Vietnamese are paranoid on this island, as Cambodia claims it as theirs. On arrival at the hotel they confiscated our passports, visas, and exit card and took them to the police station. Aside from the paranoia, the island is wonderful. Fabulous white sand beaches and emerald green seas with fishermen all about. Probably less than one or two dozen foreigners on the entire island. Very peaceful and relaxing.

We rented a motorcycle and roamed about the quiet island. One of the highlights was a trip down some rough dirt paths to the remote but spectacular Sao Beach. There was only one local family living here. We stopped and gave the kids some tic-tac mints. When we showed them that they were to eat – the carefully placed them in their mouths and then broke into great big smiles. A great photo op! 

One of the ‘roads’ here on the island actually crosses the airport runway. We took the opportunity for a little riding on the runway since no plane was in sight – only in Vietnam! 

They have some real serious bugs here – kind of look like a flying egg with fur and wings. Best to keep one's mouth shut while riding, cause if one of these fellows caught you in the ‘chicklets’ you might never whistle again! No traffic to worry about here other than a few army vehicles and of course, the cows and ducks. 

Lazy day at the wonderful Saigon PhuQuoc Hotel pool, followed by happy hour drinking our imported Barbados rum and watching the gorgeous sunset. A fresh fish dinner on an outside balcony, with the sparkling horizon illuminated by the fire-lit lanterns on the gaggle of squid boats. Ah yes - the good life!! 

Then the shocking change of being back in Ho Chi Minh city! We paid an interesting visit to the Saigon War Museum, obviously done from the Vietnamese perspective. Some horrific pictures and displays of atrocities committed during the tragic ‘American War’ - during which more than 58,000 Americans and 3,000,000 Vietnamese were killed. 

The next day Christine and I met up with the Saigon Hash House Harriers, who had rented a big bus to take us to some distant place, for a most scenic run through countryside. 

During the run we observed locals busy in their daily tasks. Some were waist deep in mud catching eels by hand, or picking lotus roots to be used in salads. Others were busy tending to ducks or rice fields. After winding through several small villages our hash run finished at an old abandoned French fort. 

After the run is completed and all the runners have returned, the ritual known as the Hash Circle starts. This involves the Hash Grand Master selecting groups of people for numerous Hash Sins, both real and imagined, and having the victims down a beer rapidly out of a urinal! Hash sins include, but are not limited to, being a Virgin (first-time Hasher), returning or visiting Hasher, Hash Slashing (stopping for a pee while the Hash is in progress), Hash Trashing (littering), competitive running, not wearing a Hash t-shirt, getting a Hash Name, and anything else that the GM can think up. Lots of laughs, and lots of beer consumed. The group has a big sing-a-long of colourful hashing songs on the bus on the way back to Saigon. Great fun!

After two weeks, we are now off on a 7 hour bus trip up into the highlands to a place called Dalat. We passed by the floating houses on La Nga Lake, through rubber tree and coffee plantations, and up through pine forests in the mountains. Dalat turned out to be a huge disappointment as the weather was colder than a penguin’s ass! One night was enough to get us on the road again.

Another bus trip through the mountains and over the Ngoan Muc Pass. Stopped at Phan Rang to see the Cham Towers built in the 13th century, a testament to the construction skills of the Cham masons. Chanting, and the smell of incense wafted out from inside the temple where Monks were immersed in prayer.

In costal town of Nha Trang, we stayed at the Phu Quy Hotel and enjoyed the sunny weather, the beach, and their special brand of baguettes. The restaurant where we had dinner on our first night featured a memorable menu offering a strangeness in delicacies that included: 

• Marrow and goat’s brains
• Goat’s penis & breast with oriental medicine in bowl
• Snake head in steamed pot
• Stuffed swimming bladder
• Crispy fried eel
• Grilled salamander
• Jellyfish mixed with wild boar
• Goat’s blood wine or Goat penis wine

During a weak moment, to Christine’s horror, I tried the Goat penis wine. It made my liver quiver, and I quickly lost my fondness for goats! What was I thinking? 

Much of Vietnam is names we can’t spell, towns we can’t pronounce, food we don’t recognize, and herniated English we don’t understand. Travel here is most interesting, and certainly an adventure.

Out on a morning run one day, I passed a cyclo driver who took up the challenge and started to race me in his cyclo. It was fun even though we couldn’t speak each other’s language. Later on the same run, I was handed a flower by one of a group of girls I passed along the road. I stopped and put it in my hair, which set them all agiggle. The flower was such a lovely gesture by her, and one of several fond memories of Nha Trang. 

Interesting walk out to Long Son Pagoda and up the 152 steps for some pictures. Wild colourful dragons with ferocious nose hairs adorned the stairways, leading up to the huge Buddha monument. 

We rented bicycles and peddled about until our arses got sore. Visits included the bustling food market, an embroidered art shop with some beautiful and intensive works, and the over rated Oceanographic Institute.

We enjoyed many good meals at Sinh’s Café, where we became friends with the waitress and the security guard. The latter took to giving me a quick massage every time we came in to eat! A couple of lazy days on the beach enjoying the sunny weather and then off on the dreaded bus again to Hoi An.

A lengthy 13 hour bus trip passing by a couple of awful traffic accidents on route. When we finally get off the bus it seems we have lost part of our hearing – not sure if it’s due to the continuous ear-bleeding blasts on the air horn, or because our kidneys have been relocated to the vicinity of our ears! Happy to be off the butt-busting bus! 

Tough time finding a place to stay as we nervously walked about in the dark with our backpacks. Finally found a hotel and crashed. Hoi An is a picturesque riverside town 30 km south of Dan ang. It is famous for making clothes – they can make anything up for you in a day. Great prices and good quality, and we did our best to support the local economy!

It is a small quiet town with old style buildings. An enchanting place to stroll about with moss and ferns growing on the tiled roof tops, and a few great little eating spots like Miss Ly’s Café.

Hoi An also has an interesting market down by the river with produce, livestock and fish. We watched many locals riding home from the market on their bicycles, holding upside down over the handlebars, several very confused ducks or chickens. We enjoyed our brief stay in this quaint town. 

Yet another bus trip, this time to Hue, passing over the amazing Hai Van Pass covered in clouds. Poor visibility and treacherous switchback roads with incredible drop offs, made for a white-knuckle ride! We were quite relieved to get down out of the mountains. It took 6 ½ hours to go 140 km – an average of less than 14 mph!

Fascinating stop with locals carving huge blocks of marble by hand at the base of the Picturesque Marble Mountain. Fabulous carvings and we could not resist the urge to buy a few small ones to bring home. 

We have now completed 1,642 long km by bus, traveling through Vietnam all the way from Ho Chi Minh City to Hue. Vietnamese buses seem designed for invertebrates, and should carry some kind of warning for anything, or anyone with a backbone longer than a toothpick! 

In Hue it is raining. This should come as no surprise to us, as we are told this area get some 300 days of rain per year! To make matters worse, we have run into major problems trying to find a guide willing to take us to Khe Sahn and stay overnight. At this point it looked very much like my attempt at the run was not going to happen, and I was quite depressed.

After two diligent days of struggle, we managed to get the dilemma sorted out it looks like a go. We strolled over the river to find the town market and buy a straw hat for Christine to wear on the run. The conical hat is very functional and the classic symbol of Vietnam.

The morning as we are about to leave, we are told that the plans to hire a guide in Dong Ha have failed. However, Mr. Huy, one of the staff at the hotel who speaks English, has agreed to accompany us and act as our guide. What a huge bonus this would turn out to be!

What follows is the story of my run across Vietnam: (click link for story)

RUN ACROSS VIETNAM


The morning after I got out of the hospital I was still quite shaky, but ever so thankful to be alive. The doctors and our guide are very much in our thoughts. 

That afternoon, unable to walk very far, we rented some cyclos, with drivers, and were peddled about through the Forbidden Purple City which used to be reserved for the personal use of the emperor. In those days, the only servants allowed into the compound were eunuchs, who would pose no threat to the royal concubines! 

We then visited the impressive Thien Mu Pagoda and it’s beautiful and interesting grounds. Finally, we asked to be let off at the market near the bridge. Here, a big argument with our cyclo drivers ensued. They tried to rip us off, and we were having no part of it! We refused to cave in to their demands and simply walked away, nervously glancing over our shoulders. Too bad, as it spoiled what had up to that point been a lovely afternoon. 

During a tasty dinner at the Manderine Café, we met an interesting South African fellow named Graham. He was a runner, and was most interested in our story of the run, and asked if he could take my picture. After dinner Christine bought a lovely silk embroidered picture of two Vietnamese women in the traditional aodis.

We were concerned because of my ongoing chest pains and weak condition, and as a result, decided to cut our trip short and return home. Unfortunately this meant abandoning our planned visit into Laos.

We flew to Hanoi in order to try and change our flights to get back to Canada early. The first opportunity to leave was in 6 days, so we had some time to spend in Hanoi.

After the initial ‘swarming’ at the airport, we managed to find a great place to stay called the Salute Hotel. This was located in the Old Quarter – a lively place with a maze of streets where you can buy anything from gravestones to silk pajamas.

We found Hanoi quite relaxing, and enjoyed roaming about the curious little streets. Hoan Kien Lake is centrally located and is a wonderful place for strolling about. Silk trees which surround the lake were lit up at night with Christmas lights. Huge tethered balloons floated over the lake, and a picturesque temple in the middle of the lake, were all easy on the eyes. 

During our stay in Hanoi, we opted for a day trip to the Perfume Pagoda. This was one of the highlights of our entire trip. Getting there is a 60 km journey by road from Hanoi, then about 1 ½ hours by row boat down the Yen River. 

When driving anywhere in Vietnam, it seems overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you. Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing - and one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians. In some countries, people still pray in the streets - in this country, they're called pedestrians.

Our guide’s name was pronounced Miss Chance, and the driver’s Mr. Zoom. Giving the chaotic driving conditions, we had to chuckle at the appropriateness of their names, as we weaved in and out of traffic with “Miss Chance & Mr. Zoom”! Ya just have to love Vietnam!

After the drive, we were rowed in a small boat down the Yen River through magnificent countryside, with limestone karsts similar to those in Halong Bay. Wonderful sights included the unique gravestones on the river, small temples, fishermen using electric poles running off a car battery, gaggles of ducks, and locals tending to an array of chores. 

When we left the boat, we were led to a complex of pagodas and Buddhist shrines built into the limestone cliffs of Huong Tich Mountain. My chest was giving me trouble so I stopped at the Thien Tru Temple, while Christine and Brooks & Susan did a strenuous climb up to see another pagoda. I spent the hours in this spiritual place alone - taking photos, relaxing, and reflecting back on our journey through this foreign land.

The last few days in Hanoi were fairly low key, since I could not walk for very long. We enjoyed the famous Thang Long Water Puppet Theatre, and did a little shopping to fill in the time, and on Christmas Eve we treated ourselves to an evening at a place down by the lake called Mama Rosa’s. The food was fabulous, and after dinner the owner brought out some ginseng wine for us to sample. When this got the thumb’s up he came over with bottle of a liquorice rice wine which was another powerful but pleasant concoction! Next we had a visit from someone who walked in off the street dressed up in a Santa outfit. 

‘Santa’ presented us with a gift wrapped package, rang his bell several times, then said good bye! We opened up the gift which was a small pair of ceramic shoes. We have no idea what prompted the gift – but it was another lovely gesture that capped off a great evening. The gift of shoes somehow seemed most appropriate given the drama we had been through during the run.

Christmas day was spent quietly down by the lake people watching. Later that evening we took a taxi out to the famous Indochine Restaurant for a great meal. Then home to pack up for the long trip home on Boxing Day.

Our journey through Vietnam was truly unforgettable in ever so many ways. During our visit we learned a great deal about a wonderful country that previously we had only been able to relate to the war. We also enjoyed meeting a warm, generous people whose resilience shines on despite all the misfortune they have endured.

During these travels Christine and I accrued many treasured memories, and a profound sense of achievement from conquering our personal challenges. This trip was also an opportunity for reflection, and a chance to re-evaluate our life priorities. Our dramatic experience with the run, has given us not only a greater appreciation of our lives – but also of each other. For that, Vietnam, we thank you.

Mark Colegrave

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