After over 24 hrs of travel and only a few fragmented Z's during our four flights, we mercifully arrive in Belize City. Now, from what we have been able to determine, most believe that if "they" give the earth an enema, Belize City is were "they" will insert the tube. That being the case we hire a van to drive us the 80 miles to the jungle town of San Ignacio near the Guatemala border. The place we have selected is in Bullet Tree Falls – right on the Mopan River. It is a bit remote and kind of rustic with no shortage of mosquitoes, but for now it will have to do for our fatigued carcasses.

The owner is a former Brit with a nice tempered but mangy foul smelling mutt. Whilst chatting, he mentions that he has had problems with robbers, coral and fer-de-lance snakes seen on the property, possibility of scorpions in our room, a guy (cuurrently in jail) he fought in a bar has threatened to shoot him, river flooding has rotted out the large deck, his wife has left him, and the place is up for sale. Oh ya, and there have been 42 deaths in the area this year from Dengue Fever - a big concern of mine having had it many years ago. I could continue – but I think you get the idea. This crusty old dude ain't exactly a plethora of positivity!

Today we hike around the Mayan ruins of Cahel Pech and take a few pics and tag on to a guide giving an explanation to some other travelers. Quite interesting how such a powerful civilization just disappeared. We hike back into town and book a trip to travel to Actun Tunichil Muknal (ATM) which is the main reason we are in SI.

The guides say there are only two requirements for visitors wishing to explore the cave: one is that they must be physically fit for strenuous hiking, climbing and swimming, and second is that they must be mentally prepared for the treasures and tragedies that lie within.

Actun Tunichil Muknal, which translated means "Cave of the Stone Sepulcher", is a relatively unknown jungle cave only discovered in 1989 and has only been open to the public since 1998. It is a spectacular network of subterranean spaces that descend over three miles into the earth and was used 1000 – 2000 years ago by the Maya. In order appease the Gods so they might have good crops or rain, they would venture down into the underworld for religious ceremonies, including grisly human sacrifices.

Greg and I, along with a very nice NZ couple, hire a guide to drive us from San Ignacio to the Tapir Mountain Nature Reserve. We stop at a river where we must leave the car. The beauty is that you won't find any tour buses pulling up here! We lather ourselves in bug repellent, change shoes/clothes and began our exciting hike to the cave. Along the way we are serenaded by the cries of a white hawk that is circling overhead. With all senses on alert we follow our guide Renan closely through the jungle walking where he does. He has been previously bitten by a poisonous Fer de Lance snake on this same trail, and we don't fancy an encore performance!

After a short 45 minute hike through the jungle and three river crossings we are excited to be here. Under the jungle canopy the mouth of the cave resembles an hour-glass with emerald water pouring out from within. . The cave was believed by Mayans to be Xibalba, the Place of Fright, a portal to another world. We put on our helmets and secure water-proof head lamps, put our cameras and dry clothes into a dry sack, and are ready.

A deep breath, then we plunge into the deep tranquil pool to swim across and through the portal of the cave. While swimming in, I am nipped on the nipple by one of the many little fish that apparently seem to fancy themselves the guardians of this Mayan underworld. A few strokes later we are inside the internal blackness of the cave, and for the next 3 hours bid farewell to the light of the world and rely on our small helmut lights. Welcome to the abyss.

Off we go, wading up the subterranean creek bed, with water levels from ankle to neck deep. We climb, crawl and slither around and over massive boulders, across ledges, and through narrow passages – our heads protected from the overhangs by our helmets which illuminate the mysteries ahead. The only signs of life we see are some rather spooky large jumping spiders. It's like being transported into another world.

About an hour and a half later, deep within the cave, we climb out of the water and scramble up the cold limestone rocks into an enormous underground chamber. Our guide illuminates the incredible glistening stalagmite and stalactite formations of what is the main ceremonial center – the ancient place of sacrifice for the Mayans. We are asked to remove our shoes and put on socks to respect the hallowed ground of the cave's floor from any body oils which may contaminate it.

Dusty ceramic vessels dated from between 700 and 900 AD litter the floor with bases delicately pierced with "kill holes" to release the spirits within.

Also, scattered about are some human skulls - their flattened foreheads and blank eye sockets cold and eerie. Here in the cool dampness our senses are alive with visions of the ritual sacrifices made by the Mayans to their Gods more than a thousand years ago in this living museum of ancient souls and unwelcome fates. We are about a half mile underground and the eerie silence and of this chamber is definitely enough to focus the mind and tightened the sphincter!

Venturing even further into the cavern we find a ladder propped up against a limestone wall. We climb up onto a ledge and find the final spectacle we have come to see - the ‘Crystal Maiden’. This perfectly preserved skeleton of a teenage girl, has been 'cemented' into the ground by hundreds of years of water running over the remains, causing a sparkling crystalline coating to form over the bones. She was clubbed to death, and just one of the many victims sacrificed to appease the gods, and bring the onset of rain in a time of drought.

Just as the Crystal Maiden's journey ended here 1000 years ago, so had ours.

Reflecting on how privileged we have been for the opportunity of this journey to the ancient Mayan underworld - we retrace our path, crawling, slithering, and swimming back the way we came, until we finally reach the daylight of the jungle, and re-emerge into the world where we belong. Actun Tunichil Muknal – truly a day to remember!

We understand that the ATM is currently in the process of becoming a World Heritage Site – as well it should be. So we are fortunate to have seen it before this happens – as surely things will change.

After a brilliant but tiring day, we head back to SI. We reckon it's beer o'clock, and stop to find a fix of our favorite frothy fluid, which comes in the form of the Belikan dark beer. Without brewskis the world just can't spin.

We are feeling kind of stranded at the place we are staying because it is three miles into town for restaurants etc. Sleeping is somewhat a challenge as the many village canines seem to participate in nightly yapping contest. On our second night an over enthusiastic rooster decides to announce a new day at 2 a.m. by cock-a-doodle doing his brains out. Perhaps this is payback from us having munched on one of his cousins earlier for dinner.

To make matters worse, a couple of hours later Greg wakes me up to get me to shut off my alarm clock. I inform him that it's not me, but rather the quesadillas (couldn't think of the insect) outside doing their thing. We share a good chuckle, and the next morning find out that it was actually little serenading frogs causing all the ruckus during the night.

The hut we are staying in is just slightly larger than a broom closet and is quite dark and dingy. To make matters worse it has no air con, no hot water or soap, and a busted shower. As Greg so aptly put it, 'it's quite like camping'!

So after 2 nights we've had enough, and get a notion for the ocean. We bid farewell to our mozzie infested digs, and just like that we are outa here – we can hardly contain our glee!

We pay a guy to drive us back to Belize city were we catch a very short flight to one of the islands known as Ambergris Caye. Collecting our bags we jump into a golf cart taxi and head off to find some accommodation that suits the wallet. After checking a few places we decide on the Blue Tang Inn – a true delight after the dump we have just come from. All is good and the weather is sunny, but we are told that we are now possibly in the path of Hurricane Richard!

The island is just like a postcard perfect with the turquoise ocean lapping up onto the sandy beach. Long wharfs jut out into the shallow sea and locals are cleaning the fish and lobster catch while huge stingrays circle around their feet. What a change from the jungle!

On the plane we met a guy who explained the best way to catch lobster is to go fishing with a mop. He says you just dangle it in the water in front of the rocks and the lobsters will come out and attack it – then you just flip them into a sack or bucket. A grin pulls my lips up to my ears as I inform him that indeed I am travelling with a MOP!

For some strange reason however, when I explain to MOP that we are going to go lobster fishing out on the reef, and use his dangly parts for bait, he becomes frog eyed, with eyebrows ceiling bound, and has more excuses than a pregnant nun!

While riding bikes we come across a pre-school that is surrounded by a fence that looks like pencils. A perfect pit stop as I have brought with me a couple of bags of pencils to give to school kids. I ask the teach if it's OK, and she agrees. Out comes a class full of little ragtag munchkins and I get the lead out! Great photo with the colourful and appropriate school fence as a backdrop.

The next two days we roam about checking out the island, stopping now and then for a little liquid inspiration. MOP has decided against fishing, and so we book a snorkeling trip to Shark Ray Alley to swim with the sharks and rays. On day three however, the weather has deteriorated big time and the sky is dark and foreboding. We are woken during the night by heavy rains – which is coming down so hard the animals are starting to pair up!

Checking at the airport we are told that tomorrow is the last day the planes will be able to leave from the island because it has been confirmed that we are now directly in Richard's path and it will hit in 24-48 hours! We chose to abort our plans, and depart the low lying island as there is no protection.

Since we are leaving tomorrow, we wander down for our 'the last supper' to a little hole in the wall joint called Waragumas and order up lobster dinners. Whilst sitting slurping a tasty bottle of vino, the waiter strolls out carrying plates with a couple of humongous crustaceans. These guys have antennae that extend past the plate straight across the table. Yummers …… this feast is just north of ridiculously delicious! Then sadly, the time has come to head back to pack our bags for the evacuation.

The airport is in a bit of chaos as it seems all the other travelers have the same plan. The airlines have abandoned regular schedules, and are now making continuous flights back and forth from the mainland every 15-20 minutes, trying to get everybody off the island. We don't have to wait long, and soon are flying back to Belize City.

Here we manage to change our tickets to El Salvador where we have a long layover, but fortunately we have packed a few beer and the crib board to help kill some time. Next up is a night flight to San Francisco where we spend 8 ugly hours in the airport before flying to Vancouver and finally back to Victoria.

Disappointing as it was to have our holiday cut in half, we did enjoy our brief adventures in Belize. Now we just have to explain to the wives why we must go again!!

Mark Colegrave

2010