On a country highway, in the pale light of a waning moon, a forlorn pedestrian vainly thumbed a lift into town from the sparse number of automobiles that hurtled by.  Finally, at the crest of a rise, one vehicle came to a halt, and the grateful pedestrian climbed in.  The vehicle resumed its creaky advance.
A distant clock was just tolling midnight, when the pedestrian noticed that there was no driver at the wheel.  Horrified he jumped out.  A shadowy graveyard loomed beyond him.  He broke into a run.  Just then he noticed a figure climbing into the abandoned car.  “Don’t get in,” he shouted.  “There’s something terribly wrong with that machine.”
“You’re telling me,” was the reply.  “I’ve been pushing the darn thing uphill for half a mile.”
* Are loyal to their communities.  They are less vulnerable to takeovers and closures by outside decision-makers.  In fact, in many communities co-ops have stayed to serve their members long after other businesses have fled to more profitable locales.  For example, there are numerous communities in B.C. where credit unions are the only source of financial services.
* Have a higher survival rate than private businesses.  Statistics show that Co-ops have a 64% survival rate in the first five years compared to 36% for private businesses.  Over ten years, co-ops have a 46% survival rate, compared to 20% for private businesses.
Average net worth per farm ($000)
Using a Paper Towel
WHY?  Paper towels, specifically the kind you grab from a dispenser (as opposed to a roll that could have touched the floor) are you best bets because you know you’re the first one to touch them.
* WORDS OF CAUTION: Think hand dryers are safer because you’re not touching anything?  Think again.  Bacteria enjoy higher temperature and can thrive inside the dryer vents.  When you stick your hands beneath them, germs may blow out; the germs can settle on your hands, and you may inhale an unhealthy dose.  Be careful what you touch, as well:  A University of Arizona study showed that about a quarter of all public bathroom surfaces are contaminated with body fluids, including blood, mucous, urine or saliva.
On a Gas Grill (Used Outdoors).
WHY?  Charcoal grills may make the quintessential blackened, crispy burger, but they’re more dangerous than gas grills.  Charcoal produces carbon monoxide when it is burned - and if you breathe in too much carbon monoxide, you can die.  More than 30 people die and another 400 are injured in the U.S. every year from using charcoal grills inside houses, under tents, and in garages.
All recently manufactured (post-1995) gas grills in the U.S. are equipped with advance shut-off mechanisms to prevent gas leaks, but gas grills still pose their share of risk.  Heed the following tips to ensure safe barbecues.
• Check the tubes that lead into the burner for insects, spiders or food grease.  Use a pipe cleaner or wire to clear a blockage and push it through to the main part of the burner.
• Check grill hoses for cracking, brittleness, holes and leaks.  Make sure there are no sharp bends in the hose or tubing.  Replace scratched or nicked connectors, which can eventually leak gas.
• Place gas hose as far away from the hot surface as possible, including areas where grease could drip on them.  If you can’t move the hoses install a heat shield to protect them.
* WORDS OF CAUTION: If you must use a charcoal grill, only use starter fluids that are especially designed for grills - never use gasoline or kerosene, both of which can cause explosions.  Choose an open area away from overhanging trees for your grilling; don’t set up the barbecue in a garage, breezeway, carport, porch, or under an awning or any other covering that can catch fire or trap smoke and fumes.
T’trouble wi livin’ in t’past is tha knows what a lousy future tha ‘as comin’.
Tongue waggin’ is t’ most exercise some fowk get!
Lightning shattered a tree under which Squire Erskine’s hired hand had unwisely sought shelter.  Squire Erskine found him there unharmed, however, but severely shaken when the downpour abated.  “How close do you figure that lightning came to you?” asked the squire.
“I dunno exactly,” admitted the hired hand, “but my pipe wasn’t lit before it struck!”
“Are the bears around here dangerous?  Golly, yes” guide Ben moody tells properly impressed tourists in the Banff, Alberta area.  “One of them caught me drowsing in that open field yonder and chased me clear to that oak tree standing alone in the distance.  My only chance was to leap up and catch the lowest limb which is a full twenty feet from the ground.”
“Did you make it?” some tourist always asks.
“If you must have the truth,” confides Moody, “I missed it clean going up - but I caught it on the way back down.”

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Over the next period of time we will have a look at certain SCAMS that are going around trying to part you and me with our hard earned money and various ways to avoid them.
* CHARITY APPEAL SCAMS:
In Canada we have a long and honourable tradition of voluntary giving to those in need, often through charity organizations.
But if an unfamiliar charity organization contacts you by mail, phone or Internet - be careful.
Bogus charities often use names that are very close to the names of legitimate and respected charities.  You can check out the list of legitimate registered charities by going to the Canada Revenue Agency’s website at: www.cra-arc.gc.ca/charities.
WARNING SIGNS
- High pressure or threatening telemarketers who want you to contribute immediately.
- Someone calls and thanks you for a pledge you don’t remember making.
WHAT CAN YOU DO
- If you receive a telephone call, ask for the information to be sent to you in writing.
- Ask how much of your gift will be used directly for the charity.  Ask how much will go toward administrative costs.  Legitimate charities have no problem giving you this information.
- Never give out your chequing account number or credit card number to anyone you don’t know.  Ask for an address and offer to send a cheque.
- Do not give money or credit card information at the door.  You may wish to make out a cheque payable to the charity.  You can mail the cheque later.
- Call the charity.  Find out if they know about the appeal and have authorized it.
- Call the Better Business Bureau to find out what they know of the charity.
- Make sure you request an official donation receipt for the eligible amount of your gift.  Only registered charities are entitled to issue official donor receipts.  You can use your official donor receipt to claim a tax credit when you file your income tax for that year.
FOREIGN LOTTERY SCAMS
CANADIANS have lost millions of dollars in illegal lottery ticket scams.  The only people “hitting the jackpot” are the people running the scams.
Here are some major foreign lottery scams:
SCAM 1.  YOU HAVE ALREADY WON!
You receive a letter saying you have won millions of dollars in a foreign lottery.  On closer reading you find out that all you have won is the opportunity to buy lottery tickets.  Usually the scam wants you to pay a fee in order to play, often $30 or more.
FACTS
- When you send money to private lottery companies you usually do not get any proof that your money is actually used to buy lottery tickets.
- Many of these scams demand more and more money in order for you to remain eligible for future winnings.
- Most of these scams fail to pay winnings.  They want you to reinvest your winnings with additional cash for the chance to win “greater prizes.”
SCAM 2.  You receive a letter telling you that you have won a prize in a foreign lottery.  The letter says they have been hired by a foreign lottery to distribute unclaimed prizes.  To claim the prize you have to pay an “administration fee”, or “taxes”, sometimes thousands of dollars.
FACTS
- You do not receive any prize.
- If you do send money, you may be put on a mailing list for another scam.
SCAM 3.  You get a call from a telemarketer who claims to represent a law firm.
The telemarketer says you have won a valuable prize, but you need to pay taxes and a legal fee before you receive the prize money.
FACT
- You do not receive any money.
SCAM 4.  Canada Customs officer calls to say they are holding a cheque for you worth tens of thousands of dollars of winning in a foreign lottery, often from the United States or Australia.  They say you have to pay an “insurance fee” to get the money.
FACT
- Canada Customs officers never call to ask you for money.
Next Newsletters we’ll include some additional Scams and various other points on how to protect yourselves.

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Papa Herlihy marched his five-year-old son up to the maternity ward to give him his first look at his baby brother, born six hours earlier.  Said baby was howling piteously.  The five-year-old studied him carefully, then nodded his head and commented, “No wonder Mom hid him under her coat so long!”

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E.H. Taylor tells this tale at the expense of Bishop Bompas, the first Anglican missionary to venture into the Yukon.
The good bishop discovered a tribe of Indians who had never recorded a baptism, a confirmation, or a marriage service.  The Bishop soon rectified this situation, baptizing and confirming everybody in sight, and winding up uniting every beaming couple in holy wedlock.
Later the tribal chief told Bishop Bompas that his tribe hadn’t had so much fun in a month of Sundays.  “And what part of the ceremonies,” asked the bishop, “did you enjoy most?”
“The marriage service,” replied the chief, happily.  “We all got new wives!”

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The frowning doctor told Mrs. Gumbach, “Frankly, I don’t like the looks of your husband.”
“Neither do I,” nodded Mrs. Gumbach, “but he’s good with the children.”

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Note!  FCL Membership Changes; At October 31, 2004, the members of FCL were made up of 288 member retail co-operatives, 2 affiliate members and 20 associate members.  Three changes occurred during the year.  Kayville Co-op and Ponoka Co-op were removed from membership due to dissolutions and Mossbank Co-op amalgamated with Southland Co-op at Assiniboia.
In a hat shop, a saleslady gushed, “That’s a darling hat.  Really, it makes you look ten years younger.”
“Then I don’t want it,” retorted the customer.  “I can’t afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat.”
The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.  The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
A good secretary is one who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse.
Good Advice From Kids;
“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’  Don’t answer.”  - Hannah, age 9
“Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.” - Michael, age 14
“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.” - Naomi, age 15
God’s name: handle with care.

Doug Smith, Member at Large