The students at Iowa State have taken to writing ballads in their spare time.  Here’s one of the soul-searching results:

(As the Flu season is on us or will soon be with us, we had better pay attention to above little ditty, before the little old lady catches us.)

Christians may not see eye-to-eye, but they walk arm-in-arm.  (Anon)

Vanderhoof & Districts Co-op invests in the communities it serves and the returns that those investments yield stay within those communities, which in turn generate more economic activity.  Vanderhoof Co-op is also the proud supporter of local community groups, over $35,000 in financial and in-kind donations, two students to Co-op Rainbow Camp and $500 scholarships for Senior Secondary Students in each of the nine communities we operate in from Terrace to McBride.  Our success is measured in the success of the people we employ, in the services we offer to our members, and in the equitable way our earnings are distributed to the membership.  Only Co-op returns its profits to local member-owners.

QUOTATIONS: - Carl Sandburg - “A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.”
Arnold Glasgow - “A good leader takes a little more than his share of the blame; a little less than his share of the credit.”
George Burns - “Laughter feels good all over, but it only shows in one place.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson - “The louder he talked about his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.”
Explorer Sir Vivian Fuchs - “If you actually look like your passport photo, you aren’t well enough to travel.”
Mark Twain - “Few of us can stand prosperity.  Another man’s, I mean.”

From San Francisco comes the story of three Chinese gentlemen who stopped at a local bar.  The first one ordered a Mai Tai sour, the second a Hoong Won on the rocks.  The third, however, declared, “Nothing for me, thank you.  I’m pulling the rickshaw.”

A dog is a man’s best friend because he wags his tail - not his tongue.

Remember the good old days before credit cards when you knew just how much you were broke.

As we are about to enter into the winter festive season we should take care in handling food because food poisoning isn’t just something you get in bad restaurants.  You can also get food-borne illness in your own home, especially if you use poor preparation and storage methods.  When food isn’t handled correctly, the environment is just perfect for bacteria to grow and make you sick.  Bacteria grow well in eggs, meat, fish and poultry.  Cutting boards and sponges are another breeding ground.  When the bacteria get inside you, look out for diarrhea, cramping, vomiting or headache.  Symptoms can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 48 hours to occur, and food poisoning is occasionally fatal if not treated promptly.

Some tips for protecting yourself and your family.

Look Before You Buy
* Inspect egg cartons to make sure none of the eggs are broken or cracked.
* Check the “sell by” date on all foods.
* Make sure that seals and wrappers are not broken, torn or leaking.
* Make sure cans are not swollen or badly dented and the jars are not cracked and the seals on the lids are not broken.
Wash Everything Often.
* Wash your hands often with warm, soapy water and always wash them after you handle raw meat, poultry and eggs.
* Wash eggs in warm soapy water before cracking them open.
* Clean kitchen counters before and after putting food on them.
* Wash sponges each day, dry them, and replace them often.
* When using a sponge or dishcloth to wipe up meat or poultry juices, always wash and dry it before using it again.  Or better yet use a paper towel and throw it away.
Keep Raw Foods Away From Cooked Foods.
* Place cooked meat and poultry on a clean plate - never on a plate with raw meat juices.
* Don’t even think about re-using a marinade or pouring it over cooked foods.
Clean Cutting Boards After Each Use.
* Wash cutting boards in hot, soapy water after each use.  Or put them in a dishwasher if you have one.
* Dedicate one cutting board to meat and poultry, another to fruits and vegetables.
Put Food Away Quickly.
Throw away food that has been left out longer than two hours.
* When storing foods in the refrigerator, put them in small, shallow pans, rather than big, deep containers.  It helps food to cool faster.

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A first-time father was taking a turn at feeding the baby some strained peas.  Naturally, there were traces of food everywhere, especially on the infant.
His wife comes in, looks at the infant, then at her husband staring into space, then says, “What in the world are you doing?”
He replied, “I’m waiting for the first coat to dry so I can put on another.”

The last remaining “bachelor girl” in a big office appeared radiantly one morning and began to pass out cigars to all and sundry.  “What’s the big idea?” chorused her cohorts.
Proudly she displayed a diamond ring and exulted, “It’s a boy - six feet tall and weighs 190 pounds.”

How about it?  I have been pounding out this newsletter for some 12 plus years now, and there still are some faithful readers who wait each month to read this Epistle (a writing communicating intelligence to a distant person; I didn’t say this, my dictionary says it, so there)

Some household measurements
Baking powder, cornstarch, cream of tartar, spices.
Dip spoon into container and bring it up heaping full.  Level off top with straight, thin edge of spatula or knife.
Brown sugar.
Pack firmly into cup or spoon and level top with straight edge of spatula or knife.
Dry Milk.
Pour dry milk from spout or opening in package, or spoon lightly, into measuring cup until measure is overflowing.  Do not shake. Level off top with straight, thin edge of spatula or knife.
Fine meal, fine crumbs.
Stir lightly with fork or spoon.  Measure like flour.
Flour
Spoon flour lightly into measuring cup until measure is overflowing.  Do not shake. Level off top with straight, thin edge of spatula or knife.
Perhaps more of the same in another newsletter to follow.

Little boy leaving a movie: “I like television better.  It’s not so far to the bathroom.”

Mother, tucking youngster into bed: “Honey child, if you want anything at all during the night, just call Mommy and she’ll send Daddy in.”

Were you aware that strokes kill 45% more women than men in Canada, according to a new data analysis released by the Heart and Stroke Foundation?  That’s why Canadian women have a strong reason to be aware of the warning signs of stroke, says the foundation.
At all ages, a man has a higher risk of having a stroke than a woman.  But each year, more women than men die from stroke and the gap is widening.  In 1973, there were 8,523 female deaths from stroke compared to 7,702 male deaths, a 10% difference.  By 2004, female deaths increased to 8,667 while male deaths dropped to 5,959.  Data suggests that the lifetime risk for a middle-age woman of having a stroke is 1 in 5, whereas it is 1 to 6 for a middle-age man.
Some of women’s increased stroke risk is caused by the fact that women tend to live longer on average than men, and stroke mortality is higher with age.  Most risk factors for stroke, such as high blood pressure, diabetes, smoking, inactivity and high cholesterol, are the same for men and women, and can be controlled.  But new research is suggesting that there may be some other risk factors that are uniquely important for women.
Migraines
A review of the research shows that among women age 20-44 years of age, those who have migraines have double the risk of stroke.  More recently, a study found that women who have migraines with visual disturbances such as flashing dots or blind spots can be up to 10 times more likely to have a stroke.
More points about women and strokes in our next newsletter.

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The Book Of Smith
Hopeless
Breathless Visitor, “Doctor, can you help me?  My name is Smith.”
Doctor, “No, I’m sorry; I simply can’t do anything for that.”
It Hasn’t Yet
Unmarried, “The worst thing about being a bachelor is that one’s name dies with one.”
Married, “What is your name?”
Unmarried, “Smith.”
Two Classes of People in the World
1. Those who are named Smith.
2. Those who know people who are named Smith.

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Tell it to the Judge!
“The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.”
“When I pressed the windshield spray button, my car left the road and struck a fire hydrant.  I was unable to see the road because of the spray.”
“I had been learning to drive with power steering.  I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.”

Two idle farmhands were leaning on a gate when the older said: “I bet tha don’t know how many sheep there are in that field.”
The youngster glanced around the field and then replied; “Three hundred and eighty-six.”
The older man was astonished.  “That’s incredible, tha’s right.  How did tha manage that?”
“It’s easy,” the youngster replied, “I just counted t’ number o’ legs an’ divided by four.”

Don’t forget our private labels include CO-OP, HARMONIE and COUNTRY MORNING.  CO-OP label products offer top quality equal to, or better than, national brands.  HARMONIE label products offer good value and consistent quality and are designed to compete with generic products.  COUNTRY MORNING labels identify the System’s top quality line of meats and dairy products.  So be sure and stock up on your own products, you will not find them in any other store, only your friendly Co-op.

Marriage thrives in a climate of love and respect.

Men, be a prince for your princess.                -Dave Branon

So bye for now until I’m your way with the final newsletter of the year, the Christmas issue.

Doug Smith, Member at Large