untitled III

i must admit that those
are more like my realities
than my fantasies.

sleeping masks & ear plugs?
i tend to choose
a bottle of vodka
& a pack of cigarettes.
but,
whatever works, right?

anything to drown out those
primordial urges -
when a belt
or a bottle of tylenol
or a kitchen knife
appear as your best friend.

"how suicidal are you?"
"oh, it varies.
one day i am happy & carefree.
the next i am afraid to get out of bed.
but mostly,
i'm just bored."