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Christmas
Cake Recipe - Not...
As Supplied
By A Family Member
Ingredients:
-
1
teaspoon baking powder
-
1
cup sugar
-
1
cup butter
-
1
tsp salt
-
1
cup brown sugar
-
lemon
juice
-
4
large eggs
-
lots
of nuts
-
2
cups dried fruit
-
1
bottle good quality brandy
* Take a large
bowl and lets begin. Sample the brandy to check quality.
* To be doubly
sure the brandy is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
* Repeat.
* Turn on
the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
* Add 1 tsp
of sugar, beat again.
* At this
point it's a good idea to check the brandy is shtill ok.
* Try another
cup - juist in case. Turn off the mixerer.
* Break 2 leggs
and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.
* Pick fruit
off the floor.
* Mix on the
turner.
* If the dried
fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.
* Sample the
brandy to check for tonsisticity.
* Next sift
2 cups of salt, or something, who gives a shit.
* Check the
brandy.
* Now sift
the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
* Add one table.
* Add a spoon
of sugar, or somefink - whatever you can find.
* Greash the
oven and piss in the fridge.
* Turn the
cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
* Don't forget
to beat off the turner.
* Finally throw
the bowl across the room, finish the brandy, kick the cat and fall into
bed.
Cherry Mistmas
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