Allan Scahill's County Mayo, Lancashire and Cheshire Roots

Only the rich never have to seek out their relatives. Proverb.


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Christmas Cake Recipe - Not...

As Supplied By A Family Member


  • 1 teaspoon baking powder

  • 1 cup sugar

  • 1 cup butter

  • 1 tsp salt

  • 1 cup brown sugar

  • lemon juice

  • 4 large eggs

  • lots of nuts

  • 2 cups dried fruit

  • 1 bottle good quality brandy

* Take a large bowl and lets begin. Sample the brandy to check quality.

* To be doubly sure the brandy is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

* Repeat.

* Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

* Add 1 tsp of sugar, beat again.

* At this point it's a good idea to check the brandy is shtill ok.

* Try another cup - juist in case. Turn off the mixerer.

* Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit.

* Pick fruit off the floor.

* Mix on the turner.

* If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a sdrewscriver.

* Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.

* Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something, who gives a shit.

* Check the brandy.

* Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

* Add one table.

* Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink - whatever you can find.

* Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.

* Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

* Don't forget to beat off the turner.

* Finally throw the bowl across the room, finish the brandy, kick the cat and fall into bed.

Cherry Mistmas


Gloria Has Six Recipes Accepted For The 2007 Holiday Recipe Collection

Gloria Gets Three Recipes Into The 2006 Holiday Recipe BookPeace On Earth



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Updated By Allan Scahill On December 16, 2007
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Copyright © Allan Scahill 2007