Day 3 - Three Forks to Glendive, Montana
After the boink-fest of the night before, I am very tired. John is vaguely resentful because he missed something. Whatever. We head off into eastern Montana, which is one of the weirder places I have been. I really should be looking at a map. Where the hell is Billings? It's okay. Billings is today. Billings is weird. Salt Lake City weird, and for me that is saying a lot. We have decided that driving all day without stopping except for a drive-thru lunch is bad. Whoa, you say, get a clue. But we have done this before, you know. We are travelling veterans. But we are A) still making up for lost sleep from before we left and B) not 24 and 21 anymore, the last time we did a flat out cross country trek. So a break is need and that of course means a mall. Of course. John is not paying any attention and since he doesn't know what is going on, I pick malls to stop at. Parks? What parks??
The first attempt at a mall break is Billings, Montana. Weird. Old west, I think they still hang people there weird. Creepy, really bad vibes weird. We drive right through town with no sign of a mall. AAA fails again. I am disgruntled. I want to shop!!! John wants to stop. We drive 10 miles past town, get gas and decide to try again. John screws up and we find the mall. How he did this is beyond him and me, but hey, maybe they have a food fair, because Arby's is getting old.
Okay, what have we been eating. Junk. Worse than that - meat junk. Arby's is the only other choice than McDonalds (no pizza) or Wendy's, who we boycott for their anti-gay stance. Yes, Janine has been eating roast beef at least once a day for 3 days and will continue to do so until Madison. Hey, I need iron. Really.
The mall is very ... rustic. But I get to buy something. Happy, happy!! Lancome travel kit. Cute little bottles, cool holder. Yay! Okay, yes I am a fanatical consumer. Time for food. Oh, good, no food fair (they don't seem to exist in American malls that we see) but look, an Arby's. Oh, joy. We should have bought stock. We leave the mall and find a Barnes and Noble bookstore. We spend at least an hour there and think maybe Billings isn't so scary after all.
On we go. The mall/bookstore stop actually did revitalize us a bit and we don't try to fall asleep in the afternoon. Eastern Montana is weird. It is not at all like the west but is very barren. Not much vegetation, no farms, just miles of dirt. There was sort of a dark, foreboding feel to it. This should have given us a sense of what to expect from our next motel.
When I looked up where to stop in this area, all the hotels had gambling casinos attached. I thought this was sort of weird but whatever, I like slots. I eventually chose a Best Western in Glendive, Montana. 3 stars, sounded good. Wrong! What a dump! What a huge dump! Best Western is getting a letter, as well as AAA. The person who checked us in was terrible. She took offence at everything we said. Non-smoking? huff huff huff, snarl. Rude, ignorant, umm, person! This was not a good start. We went to find our room and, not surprising, her directions were useless. The majority of the rooms opened onto a swimming pool surrounded by dark brown carpet. Very appetizing. Our room did not, which was fine. It was the strangest shape, had one very small window and smelled of smoke. The air conditioning made so much noise we could not use it. The window did not open. Did I mention that we had been travelling in a heat wave? We could not turn the light on in the bathroom, because it was hooked to the fan, which was louder than the air conditioning. At least the TV worked. The "decor" was very old and dated. The bathroom, for what we could see in the dark, looked newish. It was not a great night and we were really happy to leave the next day. The person who checked us out, a different one, was also a rude person. Must be something in the water.
Day 4 - Glendive to Fargo, ND
Nothing like a crappy night to make you happy to leave. We were very happy to leave! I felt good, probably because the Mall Of America is only 1 day away and Madison just beyond that. I am feeling shopping withdrawal. I did no shopping for the last couple of months before we left. I was definitely jittery. John, on the other hand, is strung-out. He is in his own withdrawal and is less able to cope than I am, since mine is not chemical in nature (I think). John, you say? What could he possibly be addicted to, other than books and movies? No, not even chocolate. Much worse and apparently very rare from Seattle to far into our trip.
Slushies.
Yes, slushies. Coke and ice, all mixed up together in a caffeinated buzz. And he is really whining about not having had one for 4 days. Every town we go through, he looks. He is in search of a 7-11, because Mac's do not exist in the US. Initially he was just looking as we drove down the highway. I have inadvertently made it worse, when, in Idaho, after a day of not seeing a 7-11, I tell him that they do not exist in the northwest USA. Like I know. But he semi-believes me and becomes more frantic. By now, he is driving through every small town looking for one. I was just confessing that I had been, umm, being creative, when he does find a 7-11 and is estatic. Literally jumping up and down in his seat. But, woe. The machine was there, but it was turned off. He was so pitiful-looking when he came back to the truck. Very sad. I, of course, am remorseless and point out that I hadn't meant to make him nuts. We fun-fight about this most of the way to our next stop, in Bismarck, North Dakota. No slushies there either. I do sort of feel for him because he is driving a lot and they would shut him up and keep him awake. But mainly I think it is hilarious, which he finds less than supportive.
North Dakota is radically different than eastern Montana, both in vibes and in terrain. It seems much friendlier (???) and there are sunflower farms everywhere. It is very agricultural and pretty. We again decide to stop at a mall and spend at least half an hour looking for it. John is happy doing this because we cover so much potential slushie territory. We find the mall, get to eat Italian and I find a good large-size store. I buy a blouse and a fake leather jacket. It takes ages to ring it up because I initially had considered buying another coat as well. It turns out that the saleslady had rung everything up before I even got out of the change room. She had to call her manager to reverse the sale, which she had not actually made. They both shot daggers at me. If I hadn't wanted the blouse so much, I would have walked. It took them 15 minutes to change everything, which seemed to include many layers of paper work. Passive aggressive. John stood there and worried them so it was lots of fun.
We stopped that night in Fargo. The motel was nice (yay - Comfort Inns seems to be consistently good) and we went out in search of food. John found a 7-11! He was so happy. We decided to go back in the morning. We went back and watched TV and went to sleep.
Day 5 - Fargo to Mineeapolis, MN
We got up late, since Minneapolis wasn't very far away, and headed to the 7-11. I sat in the car and waited. A burnt umber Cutlass Cierra pulled up beside us and a large woman with tattoos on her ankles got out. This was very weird. Anyone seen Fargo, the movie? A burnt umber Cutlass Cierra featured heavily in it. I just though that was an interesting coincidence.
We head off to Minneapolis and find NPR on the radio. They are talking to Betty Degeneres, Ellen's mom, who is the new head of the Coming Out Project. The weirdos who called. Jeez. Betty was very cool and handled the wackos very well.
Now we are in Minnesota. I really like Minnesota. We were here 7 years ago, in 1990, on our trek, and were quite happy to come back. It is very green, with rolling hills and lots of trees and cows. The little towns are idyllic and gorgeous. I could live here, except for all those wackos Betty talked to.
What about John's slushie? After all that time, with such built up anticipation, it sucked. He said it just wasn't a good slushie. He drank it anyway.
Upcoming highlights:
- Janine and Bloomingdales and Macy's - who will win?
- Will John find that elusive good slushie?
- What evil lurks in Santa Fe?
Minneapolis awaits!