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July 9, 2009 - Thursday
"An Impromptu
Intervention"
I sit here at the computer
and am suddenly aware of many sounds enveloping
me. I can hear my hubby's snores through the
office door, the voices on the TV show he was
watching before he fell asleep are chatting away
with some '60s type "Go-Go at the beach" music in
the background, my dog loudly exhales as she too
sleeps closely beside me, the basement freezer hums
& tick ticks away, and the dishwasher upstairs
is swash swashing rather rhythmically.....my head
hurts with a headache I've had for the most part of
the day. I can feel that my neck muscles are
tense. I am not feeling stressed, or maybe I
am but am not aware of it?! Doing the inner
checklist...."Now Cheryl, what's going on for
you?" I ask myself questions often.....not
always answering, sometimes rudely shouting back
"just be quiet and leave me alone!?!!" My
head is pretty chatty yet gratefully I am not a
slave to its nattering - I can "turn it off" when I
need to, one of the gifts of meditation.
I have many friends who
have only known me as being "clean and sober" and
tell me that I am so "good" and kind that they
can't imagine me doing anything terrible or even
ever being a drug addict. I find this quite
fascinating really, for what does a drug addict
look or act like? In my experience this title
can be quite deceptive, for a drug addict can be
your dentist, your doctor, or even your
physiotherapist. She could be the woman
serving you at the finest boutique or he could be
the cashier who bags your groceries at the local
grocery store. A drug addict cannot be
stereotypically cast as a Rock musician partying
hard for too long or a "junkie" seen slumped over a
rig by an alleyway dumpster. Who I was on the
drugs is not who I am without the influence of the
drugs, meaning I wasn't always "good" and
kind.
One thing that all drug
addicts have in common is that they will lie lie
lie for the sake of protecting both their addiction
and their denial of it as being any kind of
"unmanageable problem" - and for these addicts will
also sacrifice precious relationships, especially
the one that they have with themselves. I
believe that being a drug addict is a dark and
noble existence. I say noble because I
believe that addicts are searching for something
bigger, something outside and even greater than
themselves......yes drugs do help to initially numb
any pain and lessen the blows of reality not
willing to be experienced, however, they are also
an exploration tool......albeit an unhealthy one.
Drugs are often part of
the lifestyle of being an "Artist". Doing
drugs starts off as quite fun and exciting, they
can add to the exhilaration of life and allow us to
free ourselves of inhibitions in order to explore
crazy roads one may have been too shy to travel
previously; however, it doesn't take long for these
roads to become dark, decadent, dangerous and
despairingly lonely. We each have our own
bottom.
Last week I was asked to
do somewhat of an impromptu intervention with a
young man, aged 22, who admittedly had a problem
with drugs. I later found out he was also a
dealer. I spent a good couple of hours
sharing my "story" with him, one that I have
willingly shared these past 11 years at women's
recovery & safe houses, in mixed recovery group
environments as well as in a variety of settings as
a Public Speaker. I do not have any
particular spiel; each time I talk it comes from
the heart. I do not attempt to put any kind
of a spin on my story, nor do I make it better or
worse than what it was. I experienced so much
in my addiction that each time I retell my story
something else that I did or had done to me can
make a new appearance.
I didn't expect much from
him, this fine, beautiful & brilliant young man
with the abrasively condescending "You know
nothing/why should I listen to you?"
demeanor. He was on the nod as I spoke and
when alert again would quickly put up his emotional
wall of "ego bravado bricks." I noticed that
he seemed to have what I was told I had when I
first saw an addictions specialist, a case of
"terminally unique" syndrome. He listened
because he had to under the circumstances, and I
knew this, but I kept on talking anyways, trusting
that something would stick - something would
penetrate that wall and stay with him for when he
needed it, perhaps even take him to the next person
who would again speak from their heart to
his?
Nothing shared from the
heart is ever a waste. My story of being a
"drug addict" is only one of my very very many life
stories and is a part of my life experience, for
which I am grateful. Without this story I
could not have empathy for others who also have
this story, whether it be from their past or in
their present. Each time I tell this story I
am wowed and feel blessed, more often than not
having someone later share their "secret" or their
personal pain with me because I freely shared
mine.
I have come to believe
that my life itself is my greatest work of Art. I
write songs, I sing, I paint pictures, and I create
a life. Like this young man, I do not feel
comfortable when I feel I am being placed into any
kind of a "Box", yet the difference for me today is
that I have the humility to recognize that while I
am special (as we each are) I am not all that
unique. I alone am responsible for my "Cheryl
Catherine Smith" life creation. I can choose
to learn much from the mistakes and experiences of
others or "do the exact same thing expecting
different results", which by the way is the
definition of insanity.
I see that dangers lay in
any of us thinking that we got it all figured out
and that we know it all - things like how a drug
addict or an artist should behave or even look
like. Freedom is where we can let go of
judgment and remain open minded to what is, not
what we think anything or anybody "should"
be. Trusting that when we do share from the
heart, with the intention of being who we truly
are, something does indeed stick and can make a
powerful and profound difference.......eventually.
Cheryl oxo
*************************************************
June 18, 2009 -
Thursday "Psychologists, Diaries and Yoko
Ono"
Okay, every once in a
while I decide that I must get past the inner voice
of the psychologist from many moons ago who
strongly cautioned me to "NEVER write anything
down!" and write this, my "Blog". Back then I
was leaving a marriage and struggling through the
pain of letting go of the idea of our family, and
this is why I was seeing her - to help me through
this transition. This woman was serious about
me not writing my feelings on paper. She
scared the shit out of me actually as I had always
journalled my innermost thoughts, warts and
all. I had thought it was a 'good' and
healthy thing to journal? This woman knocked
my confidence in this as a healthy and safe
practice right on its ass and immediately took me
to a place of self-doubt and self-questioning.....
after all, she was "the professional." Oh my
God, what will happen now if anyone reads what I
have written?! Should I burn it all?!
Have I rendered myself now able to be victimized
and/or manipulated?! And how can I live
without EVER writing anything down again?!
Growing up I always had a
diary, favouring the brightly coloured ones with
the locks on them. I believe I was quite
fearful of the power reading it could give a
potentially nosy brother or mother over me?!
Little good those locks were really, you could
easily pick them with a pin or a paper clip, or
simply rip the loosely sewn tab off of the binding
and voila - read away "nasty trespasser of my inner
private thoughts"! I remember never feeling
quite safe enough with the lock alone as I would
also make sure that it was well and creatively
hidden. Now I cannot help but wonder what was
I really protecting? The truth of my crushes,
my dreams, my growing pains? "Billy pushed me
in the bushes at school again..." (I recall getting
pushed into the bushes a lot...?!) When
you're young these feelings all seem so big and
often scary, and to share them would mean risking
humiliation. Even writing this I am instantly
transported to that time where sharing the truth of
my feelings was the very last thing I felt I could
do or handle. And years later how easily that
psychologist was able to take me back to this place
of childhood fear. I was an insecure and
scared little girl again who for no real reason
felt she had something shameful to hide and must
therefore protect at all costs? I was alone
again.
Whenever I write my "Blog"
I wrestle with all sorts of inner dialogue,
beginning with the cautionary ....."ooooooo, don't
say that, they'll judge you, you'll hurt someone,
you'll look bad, careful, what will they think of
you?".... and then the bravado kicks in....."who
cares what they think?, be real, come from your
truth, you can't control how anyone will take
this." My inner dialogue can be very loving
and also quite venomous. (I wouldn't want
anyone else to have the experience of being in my
head!?!) It is what I choose to share that
has the ultimate impact. I believe I have
this experience because I am challenging myself to
write honestly, sharing what is my real and true
experience in the moment of having it. This
process can actually bring me physical
pain.
I recently wrote on
"Imagine Peace" Yoko Ono's MySpace Wall that there
is darkness and light within each of us. I
stated that what each of us chooses to focus on
will determine our outcome, meaning the experience
of either Peace or Unrest (War.) To me
darkness is fear and light is love. I know
the feeling of fear - how it grips my throat,
squeezes my chest, quickens my heart rate and makes
me want to run, hide, disappear somewhere, anywhere
but here, left feeling isolated and very much
alone. I also know the feeling of love - how
love feels safe, warms my heart, calms my spirit
and makes me want to connect, reach out, share,
protect, cherish, be still and available.
When I am in love I am "Earth Mother"! When I
am in fear I am an Assassin Warrior. Now I
consciously choose love, light & peace while
still experiencing darkness, fear &
unrest. I believe that this is what it means
to be "a spiritual being having a human
experience."
Today I can reflect on
what it takes for me to keep on writing - to write
courageously, boldly and honestly even when I hear
this cautionary voice from the past warning me to
do otherwise. I choose to share my inner
darkness and my inner light pushing past my own
fear of judgment because I sincerely believe to do
so brings healing. I choose to disregard the
opinions of any and all "professionals" when it
goes against my own intuitive voice. I also
choose to know and connect strongly to this
intuitive voice. It is in my nature to write,
and like the little girl I once was, I am still
drawn to brightly coloured books wherein I like to
write my thoughts and my poetry - only now there
are no locks.....
Yoko Ono's "Imagine Peace"
site
*******************
May 25, 2009 - Monday
"Death and
Suicide"
The theme upon waking
today seems to be one of death. Uncomfortable for
most to discuss, however, a reality for each and
every one of us. I recently have had
some dear friends of mine die all too soon, and it
is for me and others left behind that I mourn, not
for them. I do not believe that death is
to be feared, it is simply part of the deal
that we cut when we accept life on this
planet. As Morrison said "No one gets out
alive..."
I first encountered death
at the age of 8, when my father committed suicide.
Within that year I lost my young godfather, also to
suicide & a grandfather. I've recently accepted
being an Honorary Board Member of Suicide.org as a
show of my support of this most worthy
service. Suicide is NOT the
answer!
I remember reading a study
once taken to follow up on Golden Gate bridge
suicide survivors.....I remember that they ALL
shared one thing in common as they fell....each of
them had the thought, before blacking out, "I wish
I hadn't of done this, now I can't go
back...."
Perhaps if we respect that
death is indeed inevitable for all of us, then
maybe we would make the most of respecting what it
means to be alive? Honour your lives
for each of us is precious and know that
all can get through our darkest moments simply
by hanging on....tightly.... until we see the light
again
"Cracks of Light Bounce
Off a Web New Spun" (lyric from my
song All Dark Places)
I send you love, light,
understanding and hope. Please do not
hesitate to contact me should you need to discuss
suicide in any way.....
Cheryl oxo
****************************
May 8, 2009 - Friday
"Choice, Abuse and
Biography"
Woke up to the sound of
DVD menu music playing.....over and over and over -
I think my sub conscious cried out "Enough! - wake
up already and turn this irritating
s#*t OFF!" I fell asleep on the couch
watching the zombie spoof movie "Fido" with Billy
Connolly. My husband rented a few Billy
Connolly movies because we're both reading his
biography (written by his wife Pamela
Stephenson.) I finished the bio, Kevin is
almost done. It's great to read the same book
at the same time because we can ask each other
"what about that part when....?" and discuss
it. I guess that's why "they" invented
Book Clubs, heh?! ("they" are always up to
something, "they" always seem to keep so
busy!?!) Never been in a book club, although
I am a pretty avid reader, took English
Lit as one of my university majors..... the closest
thing I got to being in a reading club was
participating in "The Artists Way" with a few
other women at a battered women's safe house - I
was an honoured guest and felt very privileged to
be a part of this 12 week course based on
Julia Cameron's book of the same name - one of
the best things I've ever done for myself.
Women who are in safe houses have some pretty
amazing life stories and it takes a great deal
of courage for them to be there. I
wrote, (or rather 'channelled'?!), "I Am
Strong" as an homage to women who leave abusive
relationships...."your fists and words, made me
feel small." We each have our stories and I
believe that most of us have experienced some form
of abuse or another in our lives, with many of us
having been the abuser. Life is indeed
about choice, we choose our partners, we choose our
words, we choose our actions. We choose
love. We choose fear. Choice is
empowering. I feel a heavyness, a sadness
when I go back to some of my darker memories
of abuse, but I also feel gratitude in knowing I am
no longer there because of my
choices. Reading Billy Connolly's
biography was a blessing to me in its candor.
As a child he suffered greatly,
he was sexually abused by his father, and
physically and emotionally abused by his
aunt. He endured what no child should
have to endure, and not only survived, but learned
to thrive. For over 20 years, Billy
Connolly has been one of my most
favourite comedians, (another favourite is my
pal Greg Travis whose live show has yet to be
topped by anyone!) And now after reading his
story, Billy has now become one of my most
favourite human beings. We can't help but to
inspire each other when we honestly share
our sometimes murky, muddy, and messy
lives...."you know it always works out in the
end"*, and I truly believe that it does - if we
allow it!
On that note, I wish you
all a "Good night, Good morning".....I'm now going
to try and sleep some
more....oxo
*lyric from "On My
Way"; Cheryl Catherine Smith
album, written by Kevin Stuart
Swain
******************************
April 23, 2009 -
Thursday
"New Music Videos can be
seen now on YouTube and on Vimeo"
Hey All!
"All Dark Places" Directed
by Marcus Rogers
We are currently in
negotiations for a potential House of Blues tour in
CA and Las Vegas this summer.... this is super cool
and exciting for the band .... also super jazzed
about the commercial Radio Airplay we are currently
receiving for "Why Does She Hate You?", a song
written by Kevin about an experience I had to do
with an ex of his .... (if you know the song, you
know the dig....I guess I really AM feeling
mischievous right now?!!?) Not true, just
really funny to me!?!
My life is very "full"
right now (I do not like to use the word "Busy",
call me crazy?!...) I sometimes feel that I am
supposed to be a painting and creating
"machine"? Paint, perform, write, negotiate,
cook, record, garbage day, emails, watch movie,
paint, yoga, write, laundry, dog, husband, write,
friends, family, transformational breathing
session, perform, promote, create, shop, paint,
write, record..... it often feels like a blur and
sometimes Time doesn't feel like it is really "On
My Side"...?! (But I know on a deeper level
that it is, and in these moments of overwhelm I
just remember to Breathe - hot baths help too, if I
could ever make the time to get to one?!) I
can be really hard on myself as I have pretty high
expectations and am "self-demanding"! I often
remind myself to let go of these expectations, be
in my present moment, and try not to take myself so
seriously. At times this is easier said than
done!?! Creating can be also be painful at
times, and I push through the
discomfort....
I appreciate what John
Lennon said about being an artist when asked about
"Being a Beatle?" in his interview with Jann S.
Wenner of Rolling Stone magazine, and I quote:
"If I could be a fuckin'
fisherman, I would. If I had the capabilities
of being something other than I am, I would.
It's no fun being an artist. You know what
it's like, writing, it's torture. I read
about Van Gogh, Beethovan, any of the
fuckers. If they had psychiatrists we
wouldn't have Gauguin's great pictures. These
bastards are just socking us to death; that's about
all that we can do, is do it like circus
animals. I resent being an artist in that
respect; I resent performing for fucking idiots who
don't know anything. They can't feel.
I'm the one that's feeling because I'm the one
that's expressing. They live vicariously
through me and other artists, and we are the
ones....even with the boxers - when Oscar comes in
the ring, they're booing the shit out of him; he
only hits Clay once and they're all cheering
him. I'd sooner be in the audience really,
but I'm not capable of it."
In closing, I encourage
all of us to:
Be Well, Dance like
nobody's lookin', Act silly for absolutely no
reason, and simply Celebrate being YOU! (maybe bake
ourselves a cake and serve it to us with candles
and sparklers?!!)
Love Is Forever,
Cheryl oxo
**************************************************
March 13, 2009 -
Friday
NEWS! CD & MusicVideo
Release Party on March 21st, 2-5 pm at the Media
Club, Vancouver"
Everything is exactly as
it should be at this time.
I am in the middle of
readying myself for impending CD and Music Video
Release Party at the Media Club in Vancouver on
March 21st from 2-5 pm. This party is going
to ROCK big.... huge.....ginormous even!! I
am so excited!! (....can you tell??!)
There our amazing 6 piece
band will be backing me up, Director (and friend!)
Marcus Rogers from Cinestir Productions will be
joining us to show our Music Video "Smash Up My
Telephone" as well as professional
Clairvoyant/Intuitive (and friend too!) Cheryl
Brewster will be giving us a special custom made
"Rite" to help in honouring the Spring Equinox,
Music, Art and Friendship!! (How cool is
that?!) We have many talented people in the
entertainment industry joining us there as well -
musicians, actors, artists, filmmakers,
writers..... jocks, friends, family, business
owners, reverends...... quite the wonderful
assortment of humanity will be in the house!
I am also busy working
with Marcus on post production for our second Music
Video "All Dark Places" - it looks absolutely
beautiful, amazing really. Marcus is doing
most of the work though..... (?!!).... I
enjoy
the time we get to spend
together because he keeps me in the loop of what is
happening in the Art world, for example, I just
learned yesterday from Marcus about "Music
Mashing" (........sometimes I feel so out of
touch!?!)
Each day's allotted time
is quickly filled with recording, writing, walks in
the woods with our dog Ana, regular Kundalini yoga
sessions, lots of cooking & cleaning up (no
maid and/or chef in this household!), Facebook'ing
and Twitter'ing, office work, deal making (?!),
procrastinating doing my
paintings..... (I've
really got to get on this for the CD Release!...),
hanging out with creative and inspiring friends and
other artists... watching movies when we can, and
finally plunking down after a hard day's night for
some well-appreciated sleep......
I'm now off to participate
in a very special and most sacred time with three
Indian Healers and Shamans here from abroad..... I
feel especially blessed and pretty stoked to have
this opportunity to be with them in an intimate
setting. I was told that I should come with
questions for them, and the only one that I can
think of is this: "Do you recognize
me?......."
Do you?
Cheryl oxo
******************************
January 12, 2009
Happy, Happy New Year!
I send you all my very best wishes for a most
extraordinary 2009 that includes blissful moments,
beautiful connections, great health, the love and
support of family and friends, creative inspiration
and prolific muses…. (I'll take these 2009
wishes for myself as well!) Sorry again for the
HUGE delay in writing, much has happened these past
months, and I would like to share some of these
happenings with you.
I read Eric Bazilian's blog from his
website recently and proudly noted that he, like
me, is not much of a "Blogger." I love and
appreciate Eric Bazilian (The Hooters) in a
creative admiration kind of way. I met him in Los
Angeles about 7 years ago now, where I had the
opportunity to tell him how very much his song "One
of Us" meant to me, (as sung by the very talented
Joan Osborne, on her 1994 CD release "Relish.")
In my darkest hours of depression and
addiction, when I was the closest to losing my mind
and giving up entirely on life, huddling under a
desk because I could find no solace and no refuge
in open spaces, I searched for reasons to be and
wept. I had lost all hope somewhere along the way.
I was numb. I had the presence of mind even in this
fragmented state to have a ghetto blaster near me
to offer some form of solace - music. From this
squatted, fetal-like position I reached over and
pressed repeat on the ghetto blaster and listened
to "One of Us" over and over and over and
over….. and it was this song, this gesture of
my reaching out and connecting to the music, that
somehow gave me the strength to get out from under
that desk. That was about 12 years ago now. A lot
can happen in 12 years.
What a huge blessing it was for me to meet
Eric to share the power of music and the power of
his song and tell him how profoundly that song
affected me in those moments of despair. To this
day "One of Us" remains one of my all time
favourites, and I have included it in my
performances. Each time I sing "One of Us" I
reconnect to that time spent under the desk and
remember, with gratitude and reverence, that I am
no longer there. I hear Joan's voice in my head,
singing along with me, reminding me that we are
connected, all of us. What if God IS one of us,
each of us?
This is why I write, this is why I perform
- to connect and share in our sadness and our joy,
recognize that none of us are truly alone, together
we share this experience of simply living day to
day - and of course, it is also very important to
have lots of fun along the way while we're doing
it! What a great gift it is to be a songwriter and
performer.
The CD "Cheryl Catherine Smith"
(Self-Titled) is finally DONE as of late last year,
and now available for purchase. The songs in this
CD consist of mainly co-writes with me and Kevin
Swain. Nobody knows me better than Kevin does! This
album is literally a personal life journey that
takes you through my own experiences in dealing
with the pain of suicide, abuse, relationships,
depression and addiction to a new understanding and
awareness of our spiritual connection, inspiration
and hope. A song beautifully written by Peter
Harpen describing his friendship with George
Clooney is also included. This collaborative effort
with my husband and creative partner Kevin Swain is
somewhat of a musical brew of Retro Pop, Modern
Rock, Spoken Word, Jazzy Blues and Alt Country,
with strong musical hooks.
(Here's the CD marketing blurb: Imagine
Pink, Pat Benatar or a traditional country diva
singing Cohen styled lyrics with the emotional
delivery of the Divine Miss M and here you have the
musical experience of this New CD Release: "Cheryl
Catherine Smith, Untitled")
I have been working with several local
galleries who are currently selling "Cheryl
Catherine Smith" packages which combine a piece of
my original artwork with the new CD. I paint each
small canvas in acrylics while I listen to the
music and each original piece is themed off of one
of the songs. These paintings can be viewed and
purchased at the following locations:
www.charismagallery.com
www.doctorvigarigallery.com
Opulence Gifts, New Westminster, BC
Astral Connections, Delta, BC
We are currently working on a music video
for the first single: "Smash Up My Telephone" with
the 'Mucho Grande' talent of creative
Director/Cinematographer Marcus Rogers (Cinestir
Productions.) Marcus is an amazing man, very
patient and kind. He is wonderful to work with and
we are grateful to have him lend his talents to our
project. We are very excited about Marcus' creative
vision and look forward to sharing it with the
world sometime in February 2009. Check out his
previous work on YouTube or directly from his
website at www.cinestir.com
The day after our New Year's gig, I wrote
a story about an outstanding experience I had with
a patron while chatting during one of our breaks.
It is amazing how deep a connection one can have
with a 'stranger'. Kevin encouraged me to send my
story to Zen Moments.org to share my time with this
pub patron named Bert. I did, and since have
developed a lovely email relationship with the
co-creator of Zen Moments, Alan Lewis, who is also
an outstanding human being! Alan titled my story "A
Perfect Moment" as I relayed the experience I had
with Bert as being equal to a Spalding Gray
"Perfect Moment." My story can be viewed at:
www.zenmoments.org/a-perfect-moment/
As a result of this story, and Alan's
subsequent links to Spalding Gray, Spalding's
webmaster, the talented 'Hunter Thompsonesque'
writer John Boland, has now asked for this story to
be placed on the official www.spaldinggray.com
site under Fan Writings. I am very honoured to be
linked with Spalding Gray's site. Whenever I
experience something completely harmonious,
profound, and immediate and connected in my life I
hear the voice of Spalding Gray in my head deeply
and clearly state: "A Perfect Moment…." and
mark it as such.
In closing, I will say that my life
continues to be full of creative endeavors. Thank
Goddess/God/Universe/Harold/Creator for this,
otherwise I really would go absolutely nuts!
(….currently considered only 'mostly'
nuts….?!) I fill my time with painting,
emailing, writing, marketing, promoting, walking
the dog, writing and recording demos with Kevin for
the next Cheryl Catherine Smith album. Tomorrow we
are shooting more footage for the "Smash Up" video
with Marcus, going out on the Vancouver roadways
during rush hour, now that should be interesting!
Our song "Smash Up My Telephone" is going to Midem
this year, (January 18-21 in Cannes France), on an
IRL Music compilation disk to be shopped for
European and Asian consideration….. and we
continue to build our 'tribe' and fan base each and
every day. Thank-you tribe for being there for us!
I am very grateful for the wonderful relationships
I am building with all of you.
I am currently on day five of the Stanley
Burrough's "Master Cleanse" (Kevin and I do this
twice a year.) Any of you who have done this
cleanse knows exactly what I am going
through……. oh food, glorious, stupendous
food!!
Next week I am co-presenting a workshop
called "The Creative, Intuitive YOU!!!" on January
19th with clairvoyant Cheryl Brewster, founder of
www.theintuitivelife.com.
This is our second time presenting this workshop
and I really enjoy working with Cheryl in helping
others come to know and trust their creative and
intuitive selves. Cheryl is a fantastic clairvoyant
&endash; quite remarkable - in fact, I predict that
you'll be hearing of her on a global basis one day
soon!!
Now that about wraps it up…. I
think!?! What, only 10 months since my last Website
News/Blog entry?! Maybe if I am more consistent
with it, it won't be so long to read through and
take so long for me to write?! Ahhhh, it's all
good. Life is good. I am a friend of
procrastination at times, so my intention is to
come back to write here again very soon, and on a
regular basis as well, BUT my buddy 'P' might get
in the way yet again….?! (Let's hope
not….!?!)
Love and Many Blessings Always,
Cheryl oxo
October 06, 2007
Vancouver, BC, Canada Hello All,
Delinquent me..... I haven’t touched the
computer keyboard with the intention of making a
journal entry in toooooo long a time. I have
promised myself, and others who have been kind
enough to encourage me to write what is going on in
my world, that I would be ‘vigilant and
diligent’ (... prospective song title?!) in
writing regular entries. I am getting ready to
leave for Paris, (then London, Edinburgh, Carlisle,
Manchester....) tomorrow. I will write a daily
journal entry as I did the last time Kevin and I
were in Europe. I wanted to bring you all up to
speed on the highlights of my summer..... first
off, I headed to Las Vegas for a week in July to
celebrate Kevin’s birthday. We had a blast,
caught the Cirque du Soleil show “Love”,
which was jaw dropping fantastic, and quite
emotional really. I think being around Kevin all
this time I too am becoming a bit of a Beatles
appreciator. We also checked out the “Fab
Four” Beatles tribute while there, (it was
Kevin’s birthday week afterall!), and thought
the show very well done, especially enjoyed the Ed
Sullivan impersonator..... a rrrrrrreeeeely gooood
sheww. We spent all of $65.00 on Craps and slots,
big spenders that we are. Cruised the strip mostly.
I enjoyed finding a Tibetan Buddhist outdoor
’temple’ beside Caesars, where I knelt
before the altar and prayed towards the many armed
God figure, while the smell of incense permeated
the area. People stared at me, the only person
inclined to utilize the space, but I didn’t
care - I just enjoyed the freedom of such an action
in such a public place. It was one of those
delightful life moments you relish while in it, and
later while remembering it. Biggest deal for me
this summer, experience wise, was a trip to New
York in late August. It was Kevin and my first trip
to this initially rather intimidating city. We had
been hoping to line up some gigs prior to going but
was advised by a fellow musician friend who has
done the New York scene that we should treat this
trip as a ‘reconnaissance’.... which we
did, enjoying one pretty intensely satisfying
performance at The Nuyorican Poet’s Cafe in
the East Village while there. Our impression of
this fantastic city is that the people were
extraordinary, as was the city itself. We are left
inspired as artists and human beings after visiting
this magical place. We look forward to going back
very soon, (Kevin says he wants to move there!) I
did not write a daily journal while there, when
everything I experienced was fresh. I am left
regretting this somewhat as so much happened in
each day. Our first day there, for example, we are
standing on the subway platform, looking very
touristy with our map out and trying to figure out
how to get to Central Park, when a lovely young
woman approaches us and asks if we need any help.
We ended up joining her in her own pre-planned
Central Park day, following her to hear what was
described to us as the ‘most famous non-famous
person in New York’ perform at his regular
spot by the Central Park row boat lake. We watched
‘that Guitar Man‘, David Ippolito, share
his amazing spirit and talent with those of us who
sat or lay on the hill before him, and ate the
hotdog that this street musician had bought for
each of us, his audience. I shared my hotdog with
the black lab ‘Lucy’ that lay with her
young family beside our perfect tree spot. We
introduced ourselves to Sid Bernstein who sat on a
bench nearby enjoying David’s music as well,
and had a chat with him after the performance. This
experience was yet another huge highlight, and for
those of you who know how the Beatles came to
America, as well as who the pioneer of Stadium rock
is, you know all about Mr. Sid Bernstein. So much
more happened while we were there, magical things,
most moments went beyond bliss, and some moments
went into discomfort, (i.e.: when I fell over the
Washington Square fountain wall and twisted my
ankle..... I had lost my contact lens earlier that
day and couldn’t judge distances very well,
obviously! It all was fine in no time, I limped
along for a while, then got over it... an old
‘balance beam’ injury from my highschool
days!) We went on the Staten Island ferry and
thought of dear Spalding Grey. We miss him. Sad. We
went to the David Letterman show, where I shouted
out “Thunder Bay Rocks!” to TB native and
band leader, Mr. Paul Schaffer. Avril was the
musical guest, and she did a great job with her new
ballad. We also met the coolest lady DJ while at an
off-Broadway show and gave her one of our Sampler
CDs, we chatted about our animals and our lives,
including her Chelsea apartment and rent control.
So intimate were our conversations with most New
Yorkers, quite refreshing and comfortable. We came
home with one new friend, that kind woman we spent
the day with in Central Park and I are now emailing
fairly regularly, she is a very interesting and
talented woman, (a fellow Art Major!) Isn’t it
something, the way life goes, and the people you
meet and connect with. So here we go again, off to
Europe for more musical and human bonding
experiences........ I shall keep you posted. In the
meantime, follow your dreams...... we are..... Love
and Light, Cheryl
June 09, 2007
Hey!
Let me ask you this - where are you at in and with
your life's plans at the moment? Deep question, I
know. This is one I often ask myself, (maybe too
much?!) I can't help but hear John Lennon's voice
in me 'ead saying "Life is what happens when you
are busy making other plans...." How right he was!
It was my intention to 'officially' launch my
website on May 05th, however, as often happens when
you have a plan, a glitch presented itself with
regards to my linking with record label "Krazy
Cat"... unfortunately this glitch has not been able
to be solved in this past month, albeit with much
effort to correct said problem, but I have decided
to go ahead and send out the announcement NOW
anyways, and trust that all glitches with our dear
label Krazy Cat will be solved in good time. (Note:
If you are interested in purchasing our music you
can go to the Links page and connect with the
Distribution page of Krazy Cat for now...)
As we continue to write and record our album,
Kevin and I are also currently working on a small
side project with another song writer, Peter G.
Harpen, from the US of A. The intention is to have
some material for film and/or television. One
highlight from within the past month: last weekend
Kevin and I performed for a Lion's Club fundraiser
event where we enjoyed a terrific Vancouver 'Up the
Indian Arm' cruise and meeting the guys from the
band 'Double Image'.... One moment I particularly
enjoyed was collaborating on the fly with these
guys on the docks, attempting to find perfect
harmonies for those boarding the boat to enjoy.
Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest
impact. Thanks to our 'fans': Katharine, Catherine,
Sheldon, Keri, Pyper, Mya, Vivian and Myron for
coming out in support of Lion's club, and joining
us for some line dancin' and good old fashioned
rockin'! Kevin and I also met up by chance with our
old pal and fellow musician, Mr. Tony Chamberlist,
who was also working on a (nearby) boat for the
evening. After our cruises, we caught up with a
late night chat at a nearby Korean restaurant....
interesting food I do say. Tony's musical life is
going splendiferously, which he well deserves.
The experiences of life to me are always fodder
for the creative process, the challenge is how to
get it all out in a uniquely creative and eloquent,
and universally understandable way. Right now I am
toying with the idea of being completely
transparent as a human being. In other words,
living a life of full transparency. This means
showing warts and all, not trying to manipulate
anything or put any kind of spin on who I am, what
I am doing, who I choose to fraternize with or to
dismiss, or who I choose to criticize or to
love.... saying what I am thinking and feeling in
the moment as opposed to putting everything through
a 'this is proper' filter first. I have high
ideals, and to live them truly and completely, is
definitely quite challenging for me. I think many
of us, if not most, are afraid of transparency, and
want to control how others perceive us. Putting way
too much emphasis on what others think and not
enough focus on what we think of ourselves,
(wanting way too much to be liked and accepted by
all.) An impossible task. I hate to admit this
actually, as I automatically go to the place of
'don't show your weakness, keep your vulnerability
to yourself', and truthfully I am not as
susceptible to this way of thinking as I once was.
Some of us choose to go in the opposite direction,
adopting an anarchistic perspective, saying things
like "Damn them all to hell, I am so different and
unique and I don't give a %$#@?! what anybody says
or thinks." Been there and done that too,
internally as opposed to externally, and found this
a pretty lonely and despairing place to be. My
transparency challenge is to let go of all
preconceived notions of what is societally 'proper'
without losing respect for either others or myself.
I choose to be true to that inner voice, the first
thought, and the first instinct. As I get older,
and hopefully wiser, I am becoming more and more
faithful to me. The more you do it, the easier it
gets. The great gift in doing this is that I become
naturally more respectful to others as well, and
far more grateful for all things and life
circumstances. And of course, taking life in stride
with a great deal of humour doesn't hurt either!
.... and that's it folks, the first lesson from my
"How to Approach Creative Communication 101"
class.....??!
And now for something completely unrelated - I
am still waiting to hear from you Mr. Dom Pipkin,
London-based keyboardist/pianist extraordinaire....
if you happen to read this from your gig in New
Orleans, please drop us a line.... Kevin and I
would love to work with you again! Looking very
much forward to heading back to Europe in the near
future to tour. Speaking of touring, hoping to
bring our super charismatic drummer duuuuuuuude,
Mr. Gio Amadei, along for the European ride, (or
are we going along for Gio's ride??! - which is
probably more likely.... Gio is fun fun fun
personified!) Gio is now based in Toronto, working
with the band 'Shake Shakk' while teaching music
theory to inquiring and impressionable young minds.
It is really great to reconnect with our musician
buds, and to see how others are succeeding in their
life's dreams and ambitions, some of us taking
paths that may appear to be a bit off of the beaten
track, however, since life is indeed something that
happens while we are busy making other plans, we
need to have faith in ourselves and the universe
and simply go with the flow man. Can you dig
it?..... (been listening to Jim Morrison's poetry
lately.... can't you tell?!)
Peace and Harmony,
Cheryl
May 05, 2007
Hello Everyone!
Thanks for visiting! Yippee! ( - a written
expression only, I do not think I have actually
EVER shouted the word Yippee out loud??!) The
website is done! I would like to give a great
big thank-you to the designer of this website, our
friend and budding guitar hero, Mr. Jonathan
Lim. Beautiful job Jonathan! It is my
intention to write a regular blog here in the News
section to keep anyone who is interested in knowing
what we (Kevin Swain and I, as well as other band
members.......) are up to, where we are, where we
are going, where we want to be going, what we are
getting ourselves into, etc.... I think you get the
idea - I simply want to chat about our lives, and
you are welcome to 'listen in' if you want.....
isn't the internet marvelous for this sort of
thing?!
We would like to announce our exciting new
partnership with Manager "Silver Bow" and Record
Label "Krazy Cat Records" as well. We are
very much looking forward to our success as a team
in keeping our musical vision alive and
flourishing..... we artists like to stick together,
and we are indeed grateful for the artistic
influence of Candice James in our project.
We are currently deeply involved in the writing and
recording of our upcoming release, "All Dark
Places". We have sold out of our first CD
"P*U*S*H*" and are looking forward to touring with
the next release, where we anticipate meeting more
amazingly surreal and way cool people on that
journey..... but in the meantime, I will keep you
all informed on how it is going with this whole
creative process of 'being an artist' - sometimes
it is literally painful, but most of the times it
is hugely rewarding and euphoric, many of you can
relate I am sure.
I shall leave you with the words of L.A. based
singing teacher, Liz Lewis, who I had the pleasure
of briefly working with, and whose warm-up CD I use
before EVERY gig!:
"Remember that one of your
jobs as a musician is to be as thoroughly yourself
as you can. That's what will set you apart
from everyone else - no one else can be you.
The more specific you are about the things you love
and hate, about your personality and how you
express it, the more recognizable you become to
your audience. Don't copy the people you
admire. Learn from them and then create your
own thing. Then you won't be in competition
with anyone else."
....except yourself of
course!
Love and Light,
Cheryl
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