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What to Expect from Psychotherapy? Essentially, psychotherapy is a conversation between two people: the patient, who is suffering, and the therapist, who is in service to the patient. The conversation is focused on increasing the patient's self-awareness and understanding. People often report some degree of relief when they start telling their story. Having the opportunity to discuss painful experiences or negative feelings in a confidential setting can feel as if a burden has started to lift. However, it is not uncommon to go through a period of feeling worse before starting to feel better. As the poet Rumi wrote, "the cure for pain is in the pain." Although it is important to feel that your therapist is compassionate and caring, that does not mean that difficulties or challenges will not emerge in psychotherapy or in the therapeutic relationship. For example, patients may feel therapy isn't helping or they are stuck. They may also feel angry or upset by something the therapist has said during a session. Research on psychotherapy reports that patients frequently leave therapy prematurely because they don't want to address these concerns. Under no circumstances should a patient feel pressured to return to therapy if they wish to leave; however, it is important to note that negative feelings towards the therapist and the therapeutic process are not unusual. I generally encourage patients to risk voicing all negative feelings, particularly those they feel about the therapy process and me. In fact, I welcome patients' concerns and challenges because they are often therapeutic opportunities that contribute to further growth and reparation. For example, if a patient can successfully process uncomfortable feelings they hold towards me, this increases his or her chances of being able to process difficult feelings towards significant others in his or her life. As a therapist, if I am unwilling to learn from my patients, then my effectiveness diminishes.
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