Ethnik Etiket

How to survive in the social mine-fields of political correctness

A French-Canadian says something to you but his accent is so impenetrable that you don't have a clue. You don't want to make him feel bad about his accent, about which he is quite sensitive, so...?
You distract attention from his accent by giving the impression that you are concerned about his health and ask him, "Do you have a frog in your throat?" The conversation can then easily lead to medical inarticulateness.

Members of the Italian and Puerto Rican communities in New York are getting tired of being called greasers.
Henceforth they would like it to be known that the new politically correct term they would prefer is "Lubricanos," or "Lubricanas" for women.

Progressive reformist elements of English society, not known as a bastion of sensitivity, are acknowledging their propensity to slur other ethnic groups and taking steps to eradicate this poison from their culture.
With their rallying cry, "No more 'Kikes,' 'Krauts' and 'Frogs,' 'Chinks,' 'Wops' and 'Wogs'," they are leading the way into a golden future of racial harmony.
Recognizing the tendency to especially disparage mostly southern and non-protestant groups, one such organization, SNIDE, has been formed to provide a counter-balance by encouraging the development of stereotypes for northerners. Its initials stand for Suicidal Swedes, Neurotic Norwegians, Isolated Icelanders, Downright Dangerous Danes, Englaciated English. Complacent Canadians, Arrogant Americans and Germophobic Germans are still milling around in search of cutesy acronymic partners.

You are telling a Polish joke and become aware of the discomfort of one of your listeners, who clearly – it doesn't take a rocket psychologist to figure this out – has some Polish ancestry. How to wriggle out of this one?
How do you get into these situations that you need to wriggle out of? Well, saving that question for later – perhaps you can have a role reversal version of the joke ready to slide into next time – apologize and explain you are from Newfoundland.

You are telling a Newfie joke and one of your listeners turns out to be from Newfoundland. Duh?
Apologize and explain you are from Poland.

A mob of Polacks and Newfies is outside your house with machetes and burning crosses, shouting for you to come out.
Sorry, you're on your own with this one. I'm outta here.

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