My experiences with Bhagavan and Amma….
April 20, 1992 was a turning point in my life. I was carrying a lot of conflicts and battles within me and was trying to cope up with the loss of a close friend to a gruesome murder I had predicted
intuitively. Aspects of being a puppet in creation bothered me and I kept wondering about aspects of free will as against being a prisoner of a pre-determined pattern.
I had met almost all the contemporary spiritual masters either personally or in public spaces to address this basic conflict but it did not
fulfill me. Until, Sri Bhagavan came into my life. I was recommended to the process by a close friend of mine from Chennai whose life I had seen totally change in front of my eyes. From a miserable, suffering human, he became a successful, joyous individual bereft of conflict.
I landed up at Annanagar in Chennai where a process was on and the first few hours only augmented the conflict. The version of Tamil, a local Indian language being spoken there could not be understood by
me. The perceived aggression of the guide there also left me wondering as I always associated a certain gentleness with spiritual processes in the realm of my conditionings.
It was then at about 10 am that a foreigner walked in, majestic in his gait. He asked the audience who had come from Mumbai. I raised my hand to which he responded that he had been with Bhagavan early in the morning at Tirupati, a temple town a few 100 kms away and Bhagavan had asked him to go to Chennai as there was this boy from Mumbai who knew only
English. The gesture touched me no end. I had never encountered anyone, spiritual masters
included who seemed so concerned about me. The first process itself was very liberating as I saw some gripping
fcds (fundamental childhood decisions) which controlled my life. A chronic and miserable problem of talking in my sleep was healed through this
experience. For the first time, I was shown that man was indeed a prisoner of his blueprint but not condemned in that space. He could be liberated of
it. And it just seemed to flow into me, no resistances. Since then, life has been a joyous discovery, replete with experiences of grace, healings and omnipresence of my master as I march towards greater enlightenments joyously.
Every moment is an experience, a breaking into freer spaces within. I especially could relate to the unconditionality of my relationship with
him. I experienced some mind blocks in having to pay for the processes but was soon able to see it just as another of my numerous
conditionings. I had never related wealth creation to spiritual processes; I could see my lack of
sacredness. Each personal meeting with him freed spaces inside me. It was just a happening in his presence.
Love and Joy and my pursuit of it acquired an entirely new dimension as I saw it as a function of my consciousness
levels. For me, there are no longer any dependency on belief systems…I am able to live in personally authenticated spaces and my bond with Bhagavan and Amma, what to say of
it. Quenching my thirst across lifetimes, the oasis in the desert of my life; a wellspring of love and joy and compassion I can call upon at will…
Life has acquired a new hue with their presence, as I go to the root of things and work on them there.
The breath of my breath…the life of my life…a happening in realms of Grace for me.
My gratitude to Amma and Bhagavan, as also to every event, every person in my life who facilitates my evolution. My thanks to Sarlo for enabling the posting of my experiences with Amma and Bhagavan on his site
in spite of having reservations about them and their work.
My email id is sundar.srinivasan at gmail dot com in case anyone would choose to connect for any clarifications etc from me.
Feeling Blessed in realms of Grace,
And for the negative side from Sri Kalkiji's detractors,