Amazing Pre-Enlightenment Offer
from Jack Jizzmaster!
Yes, Friends, this special limited-time offer can only last so long, 'cause after enlightenment, quite frankly, what's in it for me? You got it. Nada.
So here's the deal: You send me $1,000 and a good, clear, provocative picture of you. We're talking full frontal nude here. (Men, make that $2,000 and bend over. That's a lot more work and even at $2,000 barely worth it, but okay.) I will visualize you and send you all the loving energy you can handle while i create your personalized Wads R Us precious bodily essence, the priceless souvenir of our time together in Cyberia, the eighth and heretofore unknown chakra level.
Guaranteed Next Day Delivery!
You won't have to wait long for your memento, worth more than its weight in gold, to arrive at your door. I will spare no expense to make sure it arrives within 24 hours anywhere in North America, 48 hours anywhere else! You just can't beat service like that! Your juice can beat service!
Contains no Sperm!
Jizzmaster's commitment to the environment and the betterment of all sentient beings certifies that your hermetically sealed vial of precious bodily essence cannot be used for the crass creation of more people on our already overcrowded earth. I guarantee that i will not pander to anyone's unconscious desires to replicate themselves and do to their children what was done to them. Absolutely! So just leave it in the vial and feel the vibrations. Ah, this!
What have you got to lose? Jizzmaster's quality service is unsurpassed. Over thirty years of satisfied users can testify to this. Say no more! Know what i mean? Really!
Send money now, like immediately. Come quickly. THIS OFFER IS TOO GOOD TO LAST!