Behind my Secrets is my Energy

excerpts from an interview with Ma Ramakanta

nergy for me is really just being in your truth. I call the work that I do Osho Energy because that’s what it gives me, that’s what comes. That’s what it is. I’m not going to teach you anything, but you can experience Osho in it – and that’s all I care about. I don’t care if you learn anything; there’s nothing to learn. If what you get out of it is an experience of Osho – hey, I’m happy. There’s really nothing else.

No matter what happens, when you’re in energy nobody can take truth away from you: truth about yourself, which to me translates as Osho. That’s what I call Osho energy. Being in your truth is to be Osho, is to live Osho, is to feel Osho.

When people come to me who have never done a group before, who have never even heard of Osho, I tell them that I’m going to call this energy that we’re working with Osho energy. I show them Osho’s picture and I give them a very brief history of his life as a spiritual master and I say: some people may call it God or Goddess or anything they want – whatever. For me it’s very important to acknowledge the source of my information and inspiration. This is Osho energy: to be in your truth.

I’m going to use whatever I can to take you away from the mind so you can move into energy. There’s always a choice; you can go with either mind or energy. I’m not interested at all in the mind; I have no space for it. I just go for the energy, and nothing gets in my way when I’m working. I often hear the question: what’s she doing now? The things that come out of my mouth sometimes blow me away.

In my work I never become concerned. Anything can happen – and anything can be worked out in the context of energy. It’s not a problem. I’ll give space to anything. Your body needs to go through it. If you don’t go through it, you can’t complete it. There’s no other way.

The work that I do is often on the edge, because it is often confrontational, even encounter work, if that’s what comes up. And in a month-long energy school how can it not come up? I do the best that I can to keep it clean, to keep it straight, to keep it simple. But I mean, we go for it: it happens. It’s got to happen if you’re going to wake up – and we’re talking about waking up. We’re talking about really, really dropping the past and waking up.

It’s not about therapy. Therapy to me is basically trying to figure out what is wrong with you. That makes it a mind trip. And everything that the mind thinks, creates a problem.

Energy is about being in your truth without any problem. It’s not bad; it’s not good; it’s not right; it’s not wrong; no need to judge it. When I’m in my energy I may not know what it is, but something’s flowing, something’s moving, something’s alive in my body – and I’m trusting what I feel. But how do you talk about energy? Experience it. It’s about experience – experiencing as op-posed to thinking.

I work with people to go into their fear. That’s the starting place with my work. Don’t run away from it; don’t avoid it in any way, shape or form. If you’re feeling fear, great – this is the place to come and do this work. I learned from my own experience that my fear was my jumping place. It was the door to my energy.

The summer after Osho left his body I opened the Osho Times one day in Pune and saw the Tantra Training advertised there. The whole idea made me shake – I was terrified. And then I remembered what I was teaching other people: if there’s fear, jump!

It was heavy. It was great. It was the greatest thing I ever did but the worst thing also. It was very difficult – an amazing experience.

To me, sex is a choice. Because I’m working consciously with it, it’s a choice – not an unconscious attraction. But it’s a big issue for me and I often feel I’m a target because I’m with women. I’ve always been open about it and the Tantra Training was no different. Behind all my secrets is my energy – and I want my energy! I don’t care what it takes; I’m going for that because it’s true. And if you’re afraid to say it, so be it. Be afraid to say it – and be the loser.

So in my work I say that there are no secrets. Underneath the secrets is the energy. So forget secrets. If you want to come here, if you want to be here, you have to want to expose yourself as much as you can. The more you expose, the more you’ll find yourself. Once people understand that, they really start to go for it.

In my energy work everyone is there to work on their own personal story. I have my own story, of course, and you have your own story. And to me my story is the most important thing to get clear about. To you, even though we’re in the same workshop, your story is the most important thing. And sometimes you will tell your story and go into it – and it will trigger my story. And I’ll cry with you because it touches my story. That’s where the energy happens between us. And in the work I do when everybody’s story touches everybody’s story, we become one. And then we’re in energy and it’s so beautiful, it is Osho.

It’s really blossoming now. And it hurts when people say negative things about me, but I have to be myself. I trust that I really do not abuse others with my power. Because my heart is open when I’m working, totally. I trust what I feel. I’m not right or wrong because in this energy work there is no right or wrong. But I’m not interested in having power over anybody. I want all of us to be able to stand in our own power. Some people might want to give power to me – but that’s their trip to turn around and look at. And I’m learning so much about the whole issue. I’m not afraid to stand in my own power.

All my life I’d been playing meek and mild. But I was one tough cookie, and I was powerful – but in a very manipulative way, in a very controlling way. And when I started to take my power something in me began to relax. Before that I was judging everybody; I was controlling everything. But the more I took my power in my work, the more relaxed my whole being was.

I just finished doing the Anti-Fischer-Hoffman process this year in Pune and I discovered things about myself that I’ve been talking about for a long time but could never let myself experience so deeply. Now that I’ve seen what happened to me – hey, I’m going to give myself all the space in the world I need for whatever it takes to heal completely. And I don’t care what anybody thinks about me.

I don’t know what I’m doing – who knows what they’re doing with Osho? But it’s fun, it’s alive, it’s energetic and it’s playful – and I’m enjoying myself immensely.

When I came out of AFH one of the assistants said to me: Ramakanta, follow the wow. And that’s really what I’m doing right now – following the wow.

[ More information on Ramakanta's activities can be found on her new website at http://www.saltspring.com/ramakanta/ ]

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