You might think that there's nothing new to say about this wonderful stuff, and you could be right. But it is interesting, n'est-ce pas, that we remain so fascinated by it. Infants
play with it, amazed that they have produced it. Adult disgust is fascination turned upside-down. And then there's the jokes! Ah this.
And no inventor has ever been so honoured as Sir John Crapper, the inventor of the flush toilet. Not only has his last name been immortalized as a popular synonym for the product we so love to flush away, but his first name too lives on, associated forever with that most intimate and necessary fixture.
Reproduced below is a selective rendering of the classic, "Comparative Religion."
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Mormonism: This shit is going to happen again.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.*
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturdays.
Christian Science: Shit is in your mind.
Jehovah's Witnesses: May we have a moment to show you some of our shit?
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Oshoism: If shit happens, celebrate it.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Atheism: I can't believe this shit!
Advaitism: Who gives a shit?
Nihilism: No shit.
* = you got a better one for this?
For a deeper exploration of this fascinating subject,
getting right in there, click here