Tricks of the Tirade:

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"Satsang hijinks" terminology from Greg:

LUCKNOW DISEASE - linguistic malady befalling seekers at Papaji's.  Characterized by never using the word "I" - to encourage one's self and also show others that there is no one at home here.  Instead, they would say stuff like "This form is going to the rest room."

ADVAITA SHUFFLE - Conversational gambit.  What Andrew Cohen accused Gangaji of doing when she didn't want to talk about ethics and enlightenment.  Jumping to the absolute level at odd times.  Like when the receptionist asks why you were late for your doctor's appointment.  "There's no one here to go anywhere or be late for anything."

LANDING - Losing one's enlightenment.  What Gangaji accused Andrew Cohen of having done.   Term used by those who think of enlightenment as a kind of thing that can be lost.  Something like claiming enlightenment and then getting peevish and petty over who pays the tip at the diner.

NONDUAL POLICE - Those who badger others to use nondual terminology.  Whenever they hear someone saying something like "I'm going out for coffee," they barge in:  "WHO is going out for coffee??"  Nondual police want everyone to always be in constant Ramana-self-inquiry-mode.

THE EYE THING - Keeping eye contact with the other person as long as possible.  Whoever drops their gaze first is not as established in the Beloved.  Some blinking is OK, but not too much.  The deeper into the Self you are, the longer you can hold it.  Used by many satsang teachers.  One of my friends can out-stare anyone.  He kinds of drops into a Candida-mind-fog, and hours can go by.

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The "beyond" shtick is a standard dodge in the biz, another way of saying "I am the greatest, Buddha and his ilk are barely worthy to kiss my feet," whereby mere oneness with the cosmos is a second-rate phenomenon and the true prophet of God is the real deal.

Variations on this theme include Maitreya Ishwara's "Beyond Advaita," Vijay Shankar's "Turiyatita," the Hare Krishna's idea that Krishna is above all this and so on. It is as divisive and self-aggrandizing as any sectarian endeavour. (See "only begotten son," and "last prophet of God"). 
– Sarlo

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Here's one of the more obvious "beyond-shtick" shticks I've heard of -- a guru telling their followers to read THE GURU PAPERS.  This story was told to me by a person who has known this particular guru for about 20 years.  My contact knew this person a long time before the latter launched into guru-dom.  Right now the guru has sort of a beyond-it-all, angelic, evanescent appearance, with lightly draping silk and cotton "consciousness clothing" in cloudy pastel colors.  Before gurudom, there were other forays into the spiritual world, including psychology and psychotherapy, attempts to find investors to set up a new-age educational system (which never got off the ground), then therapy leadership and Buddhist meditation.  When first launching out into the world of giving satsang, this teacher would talk about shtick and the bad things that could become of it.  As if initiating the students into the secrets of "beyond," and as if showing there was no such nonsense going on *here*, they would recommend the students to read THE GURU PAPERS...
– Greg

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Another thing to look for is the self-serving relationship between the criteria-giver and the criteria.  The person in the chair at the front of the room -- check to see if their recommendations serve to direct you right back to them! One teacher I won't name does this in satsang:

Question from seeker: "What should I look for in a teacher?"

Answer:  "The most important thing to look for is ... "

...  ...  ...  (a minute or 2 go by)...

 "a silent mind ... "

Yeah, right!!!!!

submitted by Greg

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Then there's the following two statements, said in relatively close proximity to one another:

1- Never trust a teacher who wants something from you

2- I don't want anything from you

Hey, little boy, "trust me!" Poor little guru... your kneeds are showing.

submitted by Su

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A posturing usually gets apparent, when the action is claimed to be of the divine, but not the impacting consequences of that "divine" action.

Also when that action is claimed to be divine,
but not the situation that prompted that action.

Sandeep and Melody

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I MEANT TO DO THAT! 

That typo with the Freudian undertone? . . . I did that to show y'all how 
insightful i am into our collective darkness.

Or the less "personal" "mistake"? . . . That was my verbal cleverness. 
Didja catch the subtlety?

Anyway it's all "Mirrors up!" here. Didja think what i wrote said something significant about me? It's all about YOU, Bubba! We live to serve.

Sarlo

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An extended conversation on "Nondual Marketing," taken from posts on the Guru Ratings Forum, is here.

And for related material in other sites:

The Trickster Guru, by Alan Watts, a how-to guide to setting up a profitable business, found by Andries.


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