on Saniel's "adept" group and process
I will not bore you with the details of why I feel [Saniel] is so amazing,
simply because I don’t want to give you the impression that I am blindly
devoted to him, the notion of which pushes my buttons to hear, so I
imagine it might push yours. But I did feel an instant recognition of his
awakening in a whole new way than I had felt with any other teacher. His
feet-on-the-ground way of showing me his love and confidence in my being
and my unique discovery process began to empower the full, inherent force
of my own intense urge to Self-realization. His expressions of dharma were so
potent that just hearing them would catapult me into previously feared and
uncharted waters of my own Being. And his transmission of Being-force quickly
began to awaken in me my own recognition of my own divinely human nature. In
fact, his transmission was so catalytic, that nine months later, after many
shiftings, shatterings and reintegrations, I fell very deeply into what we call
the "witness awakening", which, in this work, is a beginning step. I
had realized myself to be the one, universal, and infinitely Conscious Self
nature. This was VERY big.
But that preliminary awakening, though fundamentally integrating my
shattered parts, left me paradoxically split in half. I was identified as
Consciousness, but clearly separated from my mind, body, feelings, and the
world. I was the still point, the silent and uninvolved witness, and the world
was effortlessly revolving around me. From that position, I began to realize
that I had to investigate my relationship to all the rest of life—like my own
humanity. I had to find a reason to come fully into and actually own all
the messy, frail, weak, confused, and mortal parts of my being. In other words,
I had to come back to life. I had to choose embodiment. I saw that I had to
choose a kind of hell, in order to live my full divinity.
Two months later, in one moment of being faced with that choice, I chose
life. And I fell into my second birth. I realized that I am the Onlyness of
Being. There is no separation between "me" and any "other".
The fight between my infinite, free nature and my finite, mortal nature was
over. I realized my inherent wholeness and began anew.
From that moment on, I began to see why Saniel calls this the second birth—because
it’s just the start of a whole new life. I began to see for myself that the
real work of cellular transformation actually begins in a whole new way after
this realization. In fact, it puts to shame all of the incredibly deep work I
had done to better myself in all previous years combined. I am not perfected in
this awakening—I am only awakened to the innumerable ways that I am not fully
authentic. This spontaneous self-realignment process is what Saniel terms the
Wakedown Shakedown. And it’s very intense. But this very physical awakening to
my full humanity is what constantly urges me to live in what Saniel calls mutuality.
Mutuality means we do our best to live our own truth while simultaneously
honoring other’s attempts to do the same for themselves. It is our democratic
way of living what I call the paradox of multiple Onlyness—the
wonderfully weird reality we are now living in which realized Gods and Godesses
are living as the Onlyness, together. No one is more divine or is more in
possession of the absolute truth than any other. We are living in a new
paradigm, and we’re ready to offer it to others.
Immediately after my awakening, I suggested to Saniel and friends that we
create an intensive weekend that will give people a deep experience of this
process. All agreed, and after months of intense preparations among the original
facilitator group, it made its debut in May of '97 as the Waking Down Weekend.
We’ve held these monthly since then, with tremendous success.