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Dutch Boyde -> "Poker is a lot like sex, everyone thinks it's the best, but most people don't know what they're doing."

"Amrillo" Slim Preston -> "I never go looking for a sucker. I look for a Champion and make a sucker of of him."

"Superior Poker" ad -> "Really Bad Players Joining Daily. Come Win Some of Their Money."

"If you are a guy, you know you play too much poker if your wet dreams involve "nuts" instead of breasts."

Michael Gersitz -> "Don't get mad that you lost, get mad because you didn't win."

cuebet -> "Life is a chance, and I say deal with it."

"Marriages come and go but poker must go on."

Johnny Bench -> "Slumps in life are like soft beds. They're easy to get into, and hard to get out of."

Phil Hellmuth -> "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time."

Proverb -> "Luck never gives; it only lends."

"I thought this one fellow had the nuts every time he bet.  But he just had Parkinson's Disease."

Steven Wright -> "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

Anthony Holden -> "Whether he likes it or not, a man's character is stripped bare at the poker table; if the other players read him better than he does, he has only himself to blame. Unless he is both able and prepared to see himself as others do, flaws and all, he will be a loser in cards, as in life."

Paul Newman "If, after the first twenty minutes, you don't know who the sucker at the table is, it's you."

David Spanier "How long does it take to learn poker, Dad?" "All your life, son."

VP Pappy -> Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.

"Bluffing is a lot like masturbation. In the end you're only fucking yourself."

Got a poker quote?  Leave a message to richardt@ualberta.ca and I'll credit you.