Friday June 17, 2005 : 5:01pm
shit, it sure has been awhile since I was around here! Two months in fact....that's rather crazy. I've noticed that a popup has snuck its way into my site with the tagboard so I'm gonna have to turf it, doesn't matter anyways....I've been sloooowly moving this site over to www.totalitarianpoet.com but I'm lazy so it'll be awhile longer I suspect before it's through.
Have you checked out the pics from Shout it Louder? God Damn! did I have fun...I could barely walk on the ferry because of the damage done to my knees from dancing for 10 or so hours straight. holy smokes. Lately I've been meeting cool people on the weekends and hanging out with them and then meeting more people, it's sickening really, the social butterfly (well, for me at least) that I've turned into. and so as a result, my little projects such as dear old sulfur suffer as a consequence.....
check out:
www.baitcar.com
I swiped this link from
Elle
Saturday April 16, 2005 : 10:19am
music: new NINE INCH NAILS!
I finally managed to track down a copy of the new NIN album online, now if only I could get a copy of VNV Nation's new cd, I've got one on order but nothing in my possession. Speaking of VNV, did I happen to mention that I got tix to their show for my birthday?! yup, I'm pretty excited. I also picked up tix for Shout, which has the potential to be rockin'. So now, just to figure out what I will do today / tonight. there's this once-a-month goth night I've been meaning to check out but I don't know if I'm really up for going somewhere new.
Monday April 11, 2005 : 7:06pm
music: muse
just wanted to drop in here and say yo, don't have the time or energy for an real update. hope all is cool in your world
Sunday March 27, 2005 : 2:45pm
Don't fall in love
with me yet
We only recently met
True I'm in love with you but
you might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
go absolutely cuckoo
then, when you see your error,
then, you can flee in terror
like everybody else does
I only tell you this cause
I'm easy to get rid of
but not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
and if you make a mistake
my heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
and all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo
:magnetic fields
Friday March 18, 2005 : 10:30am
It’s 10:30 am and
I’m at work, wondering just what the fuck am I doing here, sitting in
a make-shift office with fuck-all to do. These breaths are
poisonous….I am all too painfully aware of this. I amuse myself with
daydreams that have become more and more outlandish; it seems I am
becoming immune to the pleasures of half-hearted, familiar fantasies.
Everything recedes. Everything, itself, loses meaning. All grand
principles, ideas, definitions, declarations take on a rather comical
existence inside me. Everything of meaning becomes childish, and even
those originally trivial things remain so. Nothing is kept in balance.
The world, or more accurately my world, sways without compensation.
Without sensation.
Wednesday March 16, 2005 : 8:28pm
I've uploaded some recent pics
Saturday March 12, 2005 : 11:56am
music: new vnv nation!
reading thru old entries on here and found this poem
when I walk
in serpentine slender
casting round spells
and pluck at the air
I know I can change a world
the honey-tongued women
who drip at the slightest notion of fear
fold like a torched library
this lick
of sickly misses
holds me in an awkward way
how I would love to approach them
like a dragon
:cold blooded, yet breathing fire
Tuesday March 1, 2005 : 5:37pm
music: Tegan and Sara
not much new to add here because over the next few weeks or so I will be moving this site over to www.totalitarianpoet.com, as well, keep an eye on www.fifthcolumn.ca for I plan on making some cool shit over there. if you've got a chance, check out Tegan and Sara, their new album is pretty rad
Sunday February 20, 2005 : 7:28pm
third weekend at Lotus, I lost myself on the dance floor, thought I might have heart attack or collapse from dehydration because I was too consumed by the music to even entertain the idea of leaving the dance floor for water. went to an after-hours, which cost a fucking fortune to get in to....me being a single guy and all. in the end I danced for about 7 and 1/2 hours, went home at 9:00am. now I am in pain, pain, pain.
Sunday February 13, 2005 : 2:17pm
shit, I've been having a blast lately. I've spent the last two weekends dancing my ass off at Lotus. I am in the thick of it, touching this world, slightly off-centered and cradled. angels come in a stupor, fall with each trigger, genuine in their kiss and subsequent reprisal
Wednesday February 2, 2005 : 6:15pm
music: OMD
here's an awesome story I found while reading the news at work today. speaking of work, I've decided that work is, when I consider my day, really a destination. the new site is being organized so anyone out there who wants to lend a hand, send me an email, we're gonna need writers that's for sure, so send some rants or essays or whatever you feel like. here's some links anyhow...
weatherman letting off a little steam
Saturday January 15, 2005 : 8:41pm
music: radiohead
I've been working on setting up a new site with its own domain and *gulp* getting rid of poor old sulfur. As well, I'm gonna be starting a new project in the next couple of months, it will be nice to have something to exhaust my creative energies on.
but you don't wanna hear about that so go on, get outta here....
Thursday January 13, 2005 : 9:48pm
I try to avoid the news, specifically when it's bad, so when I see a story of a tragedy of some sort I turn the channel right away. Then the other day my sister called and told me a friend from my childhood and early teens died. I haven't seen him for over ten years but when I was young we used to get into all sorts of trouble together. The neighborhood just wouldn't have been the same without Ben, he was like an unknown in the equation, adding an element of chaos (or potential for chaos) to everyday events like playing street hockey or hanging out at the park. It really saddens me to hear that he's gone.
Wednesday January 12, 2005 : 6:38pm
music: Skinny Puppy
Last summer I went for a walk through my old neighbourhood in North Vancouver where I spent the majority of my youth. My sis came along and it was pretty cool cuz we hadn't been in that part of town together for about a decade or so. going back to places you haven't been for awhile is great and all, but being there with the people that you actually hung out with then gets a little trippy. but anyways....we was walking thru the trails in Blueridge, passing the Fruit Rollup Tree and reminiscing when we discovered that the Bigtoy (playground) had been removed, red tube slide and all!! Motherfucker! As we made our way thru the different parks and school grounds it seemed that everywhere that I had graffiti'd or left my mark or there was physical evidence of a happening of some sort had been painted over, repaired or removed entirely. this deeply troubled me and still does. the evidence of my life is vanishing as fast as I live it. one day it will catch up to me and with a shove say, go on and die already
:)
Wednesday January 5, 2005 : 7:29pm
music: Goldfrapp
I hope everyone had a cool holiday and got lots of *presents* My little life has been quite good lately....Christmas kinda sucked cuz I had the flu but then I blew a bunch of dough on boxing day and improved my wardrobe and cd and dvd collections :)
I actually celebrated New Year's whole heartedly this year after boycotting it for the last 4 years. I danced like a mother fucker for 7 hours or so up in Courtenay (of all places) I met a bunch of cool people and got a lead on where to find those elusive BeeDees that I have been searching the face of the earth for.
Monday I returned to Head Office after a short stint back in the stores so it's been a little rough getting up at the crack of dawn lately.
Saturday December 19, 2004 : 12:44am
music: The Killers
here's some links, I've been forgettin' about this place lately....
Saturday November 20, 2004 : 9:21am
Here's a link for all my friends who think I'm somekind of computer expert because I have a shitty little website. Next time you think of calling me for help consult this manual first :p
here's the fastest model boat in the world for the rest of ya
Tuesday November 16, 2004 : 7:36pm
every so often something hits me and it becomes incredibly important for me to consult my journals, my notebooks and other reference materials I have created in order find out the precise date on which something occurred in my life. I think you'd be quite impressed if you were ever to see the detail to which I have documented the happenings of my life. But, anyways...today, at work I noticed the date *lightbulbgoesoff* and I wondered....was it 13 years ago today that I first kissed you. yup, it was.
Monday November 8, 2004 : 6:15pm
music: death cab for cutie
I spent all weekend burning cd's and scribbling bits of poetry. this morning I woke up at 5:30am to go to work. that's no good.
I've been trying to convince myself to take on editing this mound of writing I have, unfinished short stories and poems. It's becoming harder and harder to devote any time to writing and I'm wondering when I'll *snap*. then again, at the same time, I don't think I really have anything to offer in the way of words lately. just brief seconds.
go on...
Sunday October 31, 2004 : 8:27am
music: Jakalope
you guys should check out the Jakalope webite, it's beautiful and their music is pretty catchy, like a radio friendly industrial pop.
so today is Halloween and the closest I'll get to celebrating it will be giving candy to a bunch of ungrateful little brats. you see, I can't stay up and will not be going out tonight. By can't stay up I mean not only I shouldn't (because of work in the morning) but even if I said fuck it, I couldn't physically do it. I mean it's like 8:30am... the only time I update this early is when I haven't been to bed yet. I woke up at 6:45am this morning without an alarm, 6:45am!! these day time work hours are cool, sure but something's gotta give.
anyhow go on, get...
Thursday October 14, 2004 : 6:10pm
I shall never take thee for granted, oh darling High Speed Internet Connection.
now that I've got a decent connection again, let's see what kind of links I can dig up.....
KABOOM from eatpes - so much cool stuff there
Monday October 11, 2004 : 2:03pm
music: The Postal Service
I got that job change I had been seeking and my one month temp status has been extended til the end of the year. now I spend my days in a test lab, testing changes made to the software that LDB uses, which is pretty cool, the change alone has seemed to inspire me in a way. as well, I've been getting up early on a regular basis for the first time since high school and I think my body is really enjoying the change. It's so foreign to me to live on this type of schedule and it trips me out and gives me a little *buzz*
the other day I bought an INXS 2-disc DVD, which will replace this old VHS tape of their videos that I made when I was 14-16. INXS, when I consider my memories, is one my favorite bands and when I listen to their music something youthful surfaces in me. I rest a confidence on their sounds that's a self-induced fame...
this is my movie, I can tell because the soundtrack's playing
Monday September 20, 2004 : 3:03pm
I'm home from work cuz I'm sick, which usually isn't such a bad thing....you know sitting at home wearing mismatching clothes watching tv, playing videogames and getting drunk on cough syrup whilst still getting paid is pretty decent.
anyways, go on...
Thursday September 9, 2004 : 2:51pm
music: Wumpscut
I don't have much to report other than that change of job that I mentioned a month or two ago might actually be happening in October *crosses fingers*
lastnight I wasted a lot of time here, then stumbled on to this, then this
Tuesday August 31, 2004 : 10:05pm
"the world is not thy friend"
-Romeo Montague
Friday August 27, 2004 : 4:12pm
music: Stellastarr*
just some links today...
throw the jew down the well, yeehaa
Friday August 20, 2004 : 8:07pm
I've been going crazy playing doom3 lately, I walk around now waiting for creatures to fly out of cupboards and shit.
yup, and shit.
I added some lousy poems to the poems page so check 'em out if you want, I felt like I should put something new on here
here's a stinking link for you....
(check the video documentation)
Sunday July 25, 2004 : 6:58pm
music: Audioslave
I've let the traffic for my poor lil' site dwindle away and now no one comes around much anymore. I'm finding it near impossible to maintain both a real life and an internet life, or cyberwhateverthefuckyouwannacallit. I've been seeing this really cool chick for a little over a month now and that's the main reason I haven't been around here. also the weather has been fucking awesome and if I'm not working, the last thing I want to do is sit inside, yet..... today is a day off and it's sunny and here I am working on an update for old sulfur. I've been trying to get the beta of doom3 to work as well, but *grrr* it's very frustrating, apparently there's some issue with my video card
go on, get outta here...
THE PHONE - this is magnificent
gum blondes: chewed gum portraits
Sunday July 11, 2004 : 8:57pm
I've been pretty busy lately, bought a new car a while back and have spending a lot of time cruisin' around to areas of this city that I haven't been to for some time. I'm still working my good-for-nothing union job, but there could be a possible change at the end of summer, anyhow....
go on, get...
Book of Pain: eye exam and heat therapy
Monday June 21, 2004 : 8:31pm
just some links for now....
Friday May 28, 2004 : 9:30am
music: thejesusandmarychain
here's some pics from the hike I went on a few weeks ago, I'm hoping to go for another soon, since I'll be finished my month of graveyards tonight
here's some links for ya....
eyebrow thief - I love silly shit like this
Monday May 24, 2004 : 5:17pm
Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both
parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard
Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush pride keeps
you from the pawn shops and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house
Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down
on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity
i hate you
: e.e.cummings
Thursday May 20, 2004 : 8:49am
music: Depeche Mode
Et cetera
You hold your head out, your neck stretches. You hold your neck out
with an effort that is so obvious that it can be seen from afar. You
lay down with your head out and your neck stretches to the point that
the veins begin to bulge, drawing sophisticated lines to your swollen
red face. And as you lay there, short on breath, you wait. You wait
for the executioner to step up with a wooden - handled axe in his
massive hands. His leather - bound feet position themselves for the
best possible stance as they thud and swish with unequalled vanity.
You wait for the cheers from the audience, the faces of strangers who
familiarize themselves with you through their hatred. You wait for the
stomping on your plywood coffin like a primal victory dance. You wait
for the rejection from heaven, the list of all your failings and
truths read aloud. And as you dream of it all, laying down, light
headed from lack of breath, you can't wait to just get it over with.
written March 8, 1999
Tuesday May 18, 2004 : 8:21am
music: Cocteau Twins
i just got over a bad case of the hiccups, I don't get them very often but when I do, fuck, I'll have them for hours. I got drunk on the weekend, which is rare for me, danced a little too, and I even made time to straighten out the portal a bit!
some days lately I feel like I'm losing all touch with reality. remember that part in young guns when they do peyote and steve is all like "we're in the spirit world" kinda thing, ya well, that's me lately.
decade old LSD being exorcised from my body. wings fluttering around my head, ya I see you
go...
a metaphor for my life thus far
Friday May 14, 2004 : 7:51am
remember a while ago when I linked those cool mario bros movies? well the guy finally added some more to it, be warned though, there's not as much action in these latest parts
here's part2 to refresh your memory
Thursday May 13, 2004 : 7:41pm
music: DJ Zoney
nothing new to report, just a few links I've swiped from some other sites....
Monday May 3, 2004 : 7:54pm
music: Bob Dylan
well, I was able to escape the graveyard shift for four months but my services have been requested once again, because I suspect the guy who runs the shift is going to disciplined sometime this month for some shit that happened a while back. the shut down of the city by government workers did not occur today unfortunately, but I'm still hoping that when I arrive at work tonight there will be guys picketing from BDL (Brewers Distributing Limited) preventing me from having to actually go to work. that would be nice.
last week I went for a wicked little walk/hike with these three sisters I've been hanging with lately, maybe if I get some energy I'll upload a few pics.
anyhow, go on....get...
Sunday April 25, 2004 : 1:19pm
music: Assemblage 23
I thought I should update since it's been so long, just a couple of links for ya....
Friday April 16, 2004 : 12:45am
music: Ott
skateboarding dog - this isn't one of those deals where they throw an animal on a skateboard and let him ride down a hill, this dog can skate!
Thursday April 15, 2004 : 5:37pm
music: INXS
just a bunch of shitty links today, go look...
I know, I know, but come on it is funny
Thursday April 8, 2004 : 12:59am
gutted in a
colourful way
insides out, strewn across the kitchen floor
and the blood is creeping out
of my darling little self
mascara hieroglyph on my neck where you buried your face
and the ceiling fan is replaced by the fluttering wings of angels
Tuesday April 6, 2004 : 3:03am
music: Yardbirds
It was my birthday a few days back and for those of you who didn't contact me to say happy birthday and tell me what a wonderful person I am.....you can go fuck yourself, now I know who my real friends are! I'm just kiddin' of course, see what a forgiving person I can be, wow, I am great *falls in love with self* (yet again) ya so fuck, somehow I'm thirty now. yikes!
desperate change of subject
with friends like these, who needs friends
hows about signing the guestbook or joining the portal or something since you're here
Thursday March 25, 2004 : 11:10pm
music: Prince
oh man, I'm lazy...I haven't updated, I know. I wish I could tell you that I've done so much exciting stuff since we last met, but, well I didn't do much except for work and hang out around town, drinking coffee and and discussing the uselessness of our lives with a friend. Oh, wait...I did decide to give soy milk a try, that's something, right?
go on, scram....
oh ya, and go visit the lovely Miss Elle, who has added sulfur to her links *thanks Elle*
Tuesday March 16, 2004 : 12:44am
music: In Strict Confidence
wondering why I'm updating all the time lately? well, it's cuz I was sick all last week and skipped work. today I went to Helen's Grill and ate cheap greasy food with a friend then bought a copy of Flaunt and some cd's. I nearly bought a copy of Found Magazine because typically I'm the type of person who will pick up something I find on the street and put it my pocket.
go on...
ELF - Earth Liberation Front, mentioned on this evening's news
Rita - several galleries of old school eye candy
Sunday March 14, 2004 : 6:37pm
music: MUSE
lastnight I uploaded a new version of this page, yet I'm still trying to remember all the stuff I planned on putting on there, as well as providing links for everything, so it's still not done.
and hey, sign my guestbook
Friday March 12, 2004 : 3:18pm
here's some links for the canuckleheads out there:
because sometimes it's good to kid yourself that you actually matter and can make a difference
earlier at 2:11am
music: Spoon
talented waste of
time
with carved up diction
loss of inhibitions when all is blue
no one ever knew
I hid inside myself
in my heart, clenched fist
where the blue bled
and the words I said
were like skyscrapers
*
go on, get outta here...
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Japanese Simpson Ads, huh?! Main Site
Thursday March 11, 2004 : 2:40am
tell me if this page looks decent, I'm never sure if I've got things right
should be 1024x768
thanks
earlier at 1:28am
music: Inspiral Carpets
I've been trying to change things a little bit, just cuz it's been the same around here for so long. I slept most of the day/afternoon/evening only to wake to bits and pieces of the news......being forced to listen to idiots discuss the bertuzzi incident, people who only have an interest in hockey when something like this happens. espn is a hoot, I'm flabbergasted by how they distorted shit. here's a link for those of you who still think bertuzzi is a human being.
go on...
Tuesday March 9, 2004 : 11:45pm
music: Muse
I was watchin' the brit music awards a while back because well, let's face, americans may create a sound but it is the british that perfect it, that make it a great thing...so any ways this band MUSE was performing at the awards and I thought, 'these guys sound too much like radiohead' and then 30secs into the performance I thought, 'this is my favorite band now'. I have since been busy downloading their songs and buying their cd's (when I can find them) and I have yet to be disappointed by anything I've heard, in fact the only bad thing you can really say about them is that they sound too much like radiohead, but really I'm beginning to think they are better than radiohead (did I just say that?!) at least in a conventional rock and roll sense. Muse is cool.
go on, get...
"small, medium, large" thanks to Elle
some craAazzy flash
Monday March 8, 2004 : 3:56pm
music: Assemblage 23
go on...
Sunday February 22, 2004 : 3:10am
after work I went downtown briefly,...to Wildfire only to find out that I missed last call and the kitchen was closed, ya that sucked.
for the past ten minutes or so I've been looking for a link or two to share with you guys, but I can't seem to find anything, leaving me with no choice but to unleash this horrible thing on you. it's been stuck in my head for a few days now. actually this is cool too and it's from the same site.
Wednesday February 18, 2004 : 2:49am
music: Orb
I went and had a doom burger at dv8 tonight and picked up my discman that I left at a friends place last week. I saw this on a bus stop today so I thought I'd link it.
I love silly
Saturday February 14, 2004 : 12:31pm
music: Concrete Blonde
Valentine's Day is one day when I'm actually glad that I don't have a girlfriend because historically it is a day spent in argument with her (when I have one). I'm looking forward to the sales on candy and chocolate over the next couple of days though.
go on...
I watched this one over and over...Madonna wannabe
Thursday February 12, 2004 : 10:06pm
music: Goldfrapp
It was pretty cool today at work cuz some of the guys that beg for money outside the liquor store got into a fight and I got to watch the whole thing and it was a decent little scrap, not the wrestlemania we had outside a year ago, but still...it helped to pass my day. cops took one dude away on a warrant for something else. you got to love east van.
American Splendor is a cool movie
...that's all from me today
Friday February 5, 2004 : 1:04am
music: Felix da Housecat
lastnight I watched Lost in Translation, what a great movie...sometimes I think it would be impossible to have that opinion if it didn't end the way it did. I think the ending, by itself was just so perfect. to me it was an excellent example of how a good scene can become great with the right music...and they just happened to use a jesus and mary chain song. the beginning of 'just like honey' has such a coolness to it. they should put that song in the museum of cool.
I bought a copy of voodoo child's new cd, which for those of you who don't know is an alias that moby works under. I used to be a big moby fan, back in the day (and by that I mean back in the day, not since 'play') but have since pretty much given up on the guy. I thought for sure he would come out with some crazy album after play, like when he followed 'I like to Score' with a heavy metal album, and when he didn't it seemed to me that he was trying to cash in on the success of play by releasing something so similar. but anyways I bought this new cd, and it's reminiscent of older moby which is cool but a lot of moby's old dance music doesn't really stand the test of time....I mean the stuff was cool in the early 90's but now there's nothing spectacular about it. and hey where's the essay's in the cd sleeve that we're used to?!
Sunday February 1, 2004 : 2:34am
music: Tricky
I have been considering politics for the first time in a very long time because you see this idea of moving somewhere away from the city is tied to my political ideas (and aspirations). I can't help but feel though that my beliefs have mutated since I last visited them and over the past year I have been leaning away from anarchy. The idea of this, of seeing it here in print, hurts me in a way for it is so tightly connected with my sense of self that I forged over fifteen years ago.
++++++++++++
a cool quote I was told today: "If you want to know what god thinks of people with money, just look at who he gave it to"
++++++++++
this is fucking cool:musicplasma
Sunday January 25, 2004 : 8:20pm
music: radiohead
so I finally broke down and bought a couple of things that I wanted/needed, the first being the cd I'm listening to right now: Hail to the Thief. I was very near to giving up on radiohead after blindly buying their last two albums and being very disappointed in them. I decided that this would be the last radiohead cd I buy without listening to it first, if it sucked...and I have to say (after a couple of songs in) so far, so good. The other thing I picked up today was a new phone, not a cel of course (of course meaning that I have a bit of an issue with cel phones) I got a cordless with digital answering machine which means my friends will now be able to leave messages again, something they haven't been able to do for a year or so now.
a friend of mine recently lent me this book about alternative ways to own your own home as well as unconventional methods of building and building materials, touching on straw bale houses - something that my dad had mentioned to me a few years back. so lately I've been letting this info stew around in my head...the idea of building my own home. I had a look at properties online on the gulf islands and up north a bit and was amazed by the prices, what could be purchased for under $10,000. I wonder though, how long could I last without the city?
go on.....
cool shit w/ an overhead projector and sand
Sunday January 18, 2004
piece meal insubordinate
grilled cheese habituate
delicate pasta, soft noodle head
Thursday January 15, 2004 : 1:24am
somehow I managed to catch the flu. yipee. I have succumbed to my addiction to SimCity after giving it up for nearly six years. I will never eat or sleep again.
Wednesday January 7, 2004 : 11:38pm
I shaved my head, got rid of the mohawk. since I have to deal with the public now that I'm no longer on graveyards, I found myself at a bit of a disadvantage when it came to daily confrontations with surly customers. it always felt easier to be an asshole when I had 'normal' hair, now I feel like I'm just fulfilling a stereotype for the bastards that I have to deal with. I have to say though, now that I have a shaved head, I feel like I should be giving out head-butts
I spent part of the day training the voice recognition thing, which was a blast of course! then the other half playing NES games.
oh hey, have you seen this, some of the pics are really cool, um, if you believe that it's not all just a bunch of crap and that they never really sent a rover to Mars and that it's all happening in a warehouse somewhere.
go check this out....pure genius
Monday January 5, 2004 : 6:08am
I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good about this year, no matter how many times I run into those little daily annoyances that seem to inevitably pop up, it doesn't really change my feeling for the year to come. optimism is not exactly how I remember it, my definition of it now feels more complex than when I was young.
Wednesday December 31, 2003 : 2:02am
I'm taking a little break right now, ate some cake, drank some wine and warming up my toes and then I'll be headed back outside to work on my igloo. That's right it snowed! and there's no way I'm going to miss out on this opportunity. I recently decided that the elusive 5-man igloo will have to wait and that it's only possible for me to finish a 2-3 man size igloo on my own. anyways that's enuf talk...I'll fill you in later, hopefully with a pic of it completed.
later on....
igloo is around 50% done
after yet another break....
large section of roof caved in, morale at all time low, toes cold
daylight...
I've pretty much finished, maybe a few things I could fix, like the entrance but I'm beat
Tuesday December 30, 2003 : 7:36am
Hey, I hope everyone had an awesome Christmas and got lots of good stuff from Santa. This was the first year in a long time that I wasn't completely stressed out by all the things I had to do, mostly because I didn't get the same amount of OT this year. It sucks because last year I made over another paycheck in OT....so I have to work more now to make up for it so that I can buy that new car I'm thinking of buying.
anyhow, just a quick hello...I know, I've been neglecting this place and that I always say that I'm going to pay more attention to it but I did add a new cam to the portal so maybe you can go check out monica's site. bye :9
Saturday December 20, 2003 : 7:25am
so as you can see I decided to cut my hair....it's been around ten years since I've had a mohawk and I had been wanting to have one again but just kept putting it off. everyone is suggesting that I dye it but I'm too chicken, my hair on the top is already thinning from all the years of bleaching and dyeing. besides Christmas dinner is going to be hell enough with a natural coloured mohawk. I can hear my mom already whining about how she thought I had grown out of this kind of stuff.
I have to say that I love it, just for a change. I love catching site of myself and for a second I look unfamiliar. Little things like this are often the spark necessary to get me thinking about myself in different ways.
Friday December 12, 2003 : 5:36pm
music: Mazzy Star
recently I've been considering the idea of trying to get some more stuff published, specifically the poems that I wrote back in 2001 and some really short bits that I was working on just before I moved out of Gastown. It seems the minute I actually got published I lost all interest in writing and haven't really tried much to get published again. There's always this thought in my mind that if anything is ever going to become of or happen with my writing, it's going to be through self-publishing. Maybe that's just how I want it to happen....so I can control every aspect, who knows. It's just an idea I've always had.....or an approach I've always had.
Thursday December 11, 2003 : 11:29am
"The word that
would best describe this feeling
Would be haunted
I touch the clothes you left behind
That still retain your shape
and I'm
still haunted
I trace the outline of your eyes
Blue in the mirror, hypnotized
and haunted
I find a solitary hair
Golden still, I reminisce
I'm haunted"
:Love and Rockets
Wednesday December 10, 2003 : 1:09am
music: Death in Vegas - Scorpio Rising
I took the new skytrain line first thing this morning after work and got my brother in law to pick me up so I could go hang out with my nephews. It was pretty rad. Then went to my mom's where my niece was chillin', had a nap, ate, came home, watched 15 mins. of Gigli (that my roommate rented out of curiosity), went downstairs, fucked around on the computer.
One thing that's funny about when I work the graveyards is the different habits that I pick up....I get so used to just singing out loud or dancing whenever I have my headphones on that I nearly started doing it this morning while I was waiting at the station. but I guess, when I think about it, it's a good side effect. for the past five years or so I've been so introverted, so self-restrained, self-conscious, anxious, almost sociophobic. This year has been a pretty lame year but something changed for me, something in my thought process, the way I approach the world and life and so in that regard I can feel in a way that I accomplished something. my optimism, my appreciation of life doesn't feel as forced as it did for a while there.
Saturday December 6, 2003 : 6:25am
so it's back to work for me tonight, regardless of how I'm feeling which will probably be good for me in the long run....to sweat some of this cold out. Jeeks and I went for a drive out to around Harrison Hot Springs, stopped at Tim Horton's on the way back. There was a straAange orange glow in the sky somewhere near Abbotsford that looked like a forest fire was raging nearby but there was no smoke or anything, giving me the opportunity to pretend that it was really a spaceship or something.
hey...how's about signin' the guestbook
Thursday December 4, 2003 : 6:06pm
music: Cypress Hill
I'm sick....I worked through the first couple days of it and now I'm really paying for it. since I quit smoking usually a cold will only last a day or two then its gone and well things were kinda going that way until I decided that I should smoke some weed before watching a couple of movies. not a good idea . the worst of it is that my sis had her baby (boy 10lbs 2oz!!) and I can't go see her because I feel like shit and I don't want to pass it on.
the other night, when I felt like I was getting over this cold, I went out and bought myself a new tv because the picture on my old one was screwed and displayed everything in different shades of green, highlighted by a very bright red...as if you took the tint control and turned it all the way. so now I've got this new tv, and thought, 'hhmmm, I wonder if I can hook this up to my computer' and after a bit of fooling around with wires and settings and stuff I managed to do it. this means, with my wireless controller I can now wait this cold out while I play video games from the sanctuary of my bed.
I've got a couple of cams to add to the portal, maybe later tonight....herbal tea is brewin' right now
Tuesday November 25, 2003 : 8:18am
I'm trying to get a few things fixed up around here, I really like having that current visitor counter on my site so I've found a new one since the old one went down.
my sis is going to be having another kid anyday now, so I'm pretty excited about that. Since my wheels died I've haven't been able to get out and visit my nephew and niece for a while which sucks cuz I need to be around people who can really go nuts and no one is better at going loopy than toddlers.
Sunday November 23, 2003 : 6:10am
JACKIE (Sinéad O'Connor)
Jackie left on a cold, dark night
Telling me he'd be home
Sailed the seas for a hundred years
Leaving me all alone
And I've been
dead for twenty years
I've been washing the sand
With my ghostly tears
Searching the shores for my Jackie-oh
I remember the day the young man
came
He said, "your Jackie's gone
We got lost in the rain"
And I ran to the beach
And laid me down
"You're all wrong",
I said
And they stared at the sand
"That man knows that sea
Like
the back of his hand
He'll be back some time
laughing at you"
And
I've been waiting all this time
For my man to come
Take his hand in
mine
And lead me away To unseen shores
I've been washing the sand
With
my salty tears
Searching the shore
For these long years
And I'll walk
the seas forever more
Till I find my Jackie oh
Friday November 21, 2003 : 7:48am
music: Placebo
In some ways I'm kinda jealous that I never had Placebo when I was a teenager, they write some fucking cool tunes, oh well, I guess I can't complain....we had the Pixies, which is another six letter band name, starting with P
so I've added you people to my msn contacts and where are you to be found?...see that's the thing no one's ever up when I am and then I'm not very social when I wake up in the evening. It's funny cuz I have been feeling rather social lately which is quite a change for me, especially online. I used to get kinda wierded out when people I didn't know suddenly added me to their contacts, thinking that because I have a website that I am some internet social butterfly. anyhow... the guestbook hasn't been signed in awhile
Tuesday November 18, 2003 : 7:42 am
music: OMD (but in my head, not really)
I've been having ideas for stories....well not really stories, just scenarios, scenes that I could describe but I just can't bring myself to writing them. no matter how I approach writing lately it feels the same as when you search the cupboards for something appealing to eat over and over and sure the cupboards are full, but nothing looks good, that's the best way I can say it. I've been informed of software that will take dictation and a guy from work promised to bring in a copy so I'm really looking forward to trying it out
the other day my wheels went kaput, so I've been bumming rides, which really bothers me. I was just hoping for it to last until January then I'd buy a nice new car that I wouldn't have to worry about for a few years. do you realize how horrible it will be for me to do christmas shopping w/out a car, while I'm on graveyards!?
I'm still looking for people to join my cam portal, so email me you fools!
Monday November 17, 2003 : 7:52am
it's about time that I hit the sack, I've been up all night playing Super Mario Bros 3 thanks to this NES Emulator I recently downloaded....I forgot how much fun that game is. Except now I suck at it and before I could basically play it my sleep, but it was cool when things started to come back me, the tricks and stuff.
Jeeks, who is now officially my pseudo / pretend girl-friend, and I went to Park Royal today because I had a dream about the place the other morning and had to go there. For some reason I expected to run into people I went to school with, all pushing strollers....but no. When I was 11 or 12, I went there with some friends and we ran around like a bunch of crazies, then got stuck in an elevator because we were jumping up and down in it.
anyways, that's that, I'm crashin'
Saturday November 15, 2003 : 9:09pm
yo, I changed the mp3
Tuesday November 11, 2003 : 7:48am
music: Buzzcocks
for some reason I never expect leftovers to taste like leftovers and am so disappointed every time I have them...like now for example. yesterday was pretty cool cuz sulfur broke 200 visits in one day for the very first time...maybe I should change my cam pic more often, check this out, ha ha
anyone out there got some cool links, send 'em my way, the net is becoming rather stale to me lately
Monday November 10, 2003 : 4:57am
music: Erasure
so after having a portal for awhile and not really giving a shit about it, I suddenly feel the need to make it grow so all of you out there with cams, go ahead and join. and don't let the fact that you have to email me stop you. (I can't make a form that works to save my life)
on another note, I've started a new page, it's purpose is to find some good racist jokes against whitey so please let people know about it. there's a lot of people who visit this site from all over the world, there's got to be some good ones out there somewhere.
Tuesday November 4, 2003 : 7:17pm
music: Doves
sulfur sounds like suffer
yet its not quite dignified by pity
which only makes it worse
elementary posterity
I want you to believe me
scientific in sincerity
with all within
withhold without
withdraw
and clawing back
will, until
Sunday November 2, 2003 : 9:33pm
music: Nat King Cole
Halloween was pretty fun, I dressed up as what I always dress up as.....a military guy, which means I basically wore what I used to wear when I was a teenager and put on some dogtags. I went to a couple of house parties and ran into a girl I hadn't seen since I was about sixteen which was especially trippy.
I've spent most of the weekend trying to get out to the car dealership to peruse new vehicles but was unable to due to other things going wrong. maybe buying a new car right now isn't the greatest idea and all these things that have stopped me are a bit of a sign. oh well, I figure my luck is going change soon. I've been painting quite a bit too, which means my place looks like shit and there's crap *everywhere* but it's the one area (painting) where I feel like I'm making some progress.
loOook at paintings by Francis Bacon
Wednesday October 29, 2003 : 3:45pm
"just trying to, trying to, trying to forget that nothing ever lasts forever"
Tuesday October 28, 2003 : 2:34pm
music: http://radio.insomniaque.net:8000/
so I still don't know what I'm going to be doing on Halloween, chances are I'll just ended hanging around here with the gang and handing out candy, eating candy and doing some drugs.
recently this neighbourhood of mine has been going through some changes....I live on the east side, just off Fraser St. which is the only area in Vancouver where commercial space actually decreased in price. I've mentioned our hideous prostitutes, the crackheads across the street, and other characters living in the area. then a few months ago I started noticing hip twenty-somethings walking around, next thing I knew there was a Starbucks opening up on Fraser. they even have chairs and tables outside and I'm amazed that no one has stolen them yet. usually if it's not bolted down, it's gone. the other day I saw a girl sitting in Starbucks with a laptop working on something and it seemed so strange.
Sunday October 26, 2003 : 6:59pm
today I was walking down the sidewalk with two guys I know and a very old lady stopped in front of us like she was going to ask for directions or something. so we all stopped, lined up in front of her and she said as she threw out her hands, "which one do I get?" then laughed and walked through us. we kinda of just kept walking, then were all like, 'what the fuck was that!? did that actually just happen?!' weird shit. anyhow there's some great thick fog that just slithered its way into my neighbourhood and I'm itching to go to the graveyard a few minutes away and take some spoOoky pictures. but alas, the hockey game is on and well, the night is still young
Monday October 20, 2003 : 11:54pm
I got back this evening after being "stranded" in whistler for the past few days due to flooding of biblical proportions. I had a great time, actually got drunk which is a little out of character for me. *smoked* a lot and went a little bit crazy shopping but was able to pull back the reigns before things spiraled out of control.
now I'm tired.....got that spent, just-returned-from-vacation-feeling and I've got to go to work tomorrow
Saturday October 11, 2003 : 3:27am
I don't know what's going on but everything with sulfur seems fucked up in some subtle way, I was starting to think that some idiot hacked my site or something because the main page has seemed to have changed without my doing, but then I figure it could just be my browser and I've fucked up the settings or something, who knows, I've changed one the pages anyhow. I've been frustrated the past few days because I actually felt like updating and now, well, the things I wanted to go on about just feel so stale and uninteresting in my mind. anyways, take it easy guys, I'll update when I'm in a better mood.
October 5, 2003 : 3:46pm
music: Pulp
Yesterday I did a little shopping w/ Jeeks and I was lucky enuf to get a Diesel 'WORK HARD' daily calendar for free. I've been trying to find a way to inject my poems into some of my paintings but I haven't found a way that pleases me yet. I've attempted making stencils but that's a lot of work and sometimes doing it by hand just doesn't cut it. speaking of doing it by hand....
Thursday October 2, 2003 : 6:10pm
music: Orbital
so as it turns out my move may have to wait a couple of months which sucks because the building I wanted to move into has a vacancy all of a sudden, but i guess it's more responsible *gag* to wait til my bank account has recovered from my recent shopping spree(s). I've also been playing with the idea of going back on the graveyard shift despite the fact that every time I do my social life takes a turn for the worse or I miss out on fun shit. not to mention that I lose weight....which for me is a bad thing.
lastnight I started painting a little, but I'm trying to do faces instead of just colours or 2 dimensional shapes. they are rather cartoonish, I have to admit but I think it's a step in the right direction. of course it would be easier if I signed myself up for an art course or something...but I think that takes some of the fun out of it. I love discovering things out on my own, because then I feel like they belong to me more. I'm pretty much self taught in everything that I do, especially writing. I think a lot of people are surprised when they find out how little I've actually read, I never read for pleasure until I was about 20 and even then it was mostly non-fiction: history and politics.
Tuesday September 30, 2003 : 7:13pm
music: Del Shannon
my thoughts are jagged
and I'm walking like seven
and the ragged tiger
through slight alley ways,
talking like I'm severed
from all my yesterdays
but I can't hide from her
****
something to check out: mashin power
Sunday September 28, 2003 : 10:28pm
music: Fugees
shit was fucked....but by that I meant that computer shit was fucked and I couldn't update....not necessarily my life (although that's another story) soOo, I bought a new computer and have been busy playing with all this *power* I suddenly have, it also means learning to update with new, unfamiliar software...I still haven't gotten it, but I have found a round about way of doing things.
I bought a couple of cool mags today, one which had an interview w/ Frank Black (he'll always be Black Francis to me) and a writeup on a book about Mark e Smith and The Fall, and of course...pictures of beautiful eastern-european-looking women. lastnight I watched Chelsea Walls, directed by Ethan Hawke, I don't know if it was because I was stoned, but I thought it was very cool, the acting, writing, photography all kicked ass and when I get all those things, I don't really need much of a story.
Friday September 19, 2003 : 11:14pm
music: FISCHERSPOONER
the task at hand is to try and part with some of the junk I could not bare to throw out last time I moved....have I mentioned that I'm moving, cuz I am. It seems impossible for me to stay in one place for more than two years at a time and I've been here for nearly that long.
recently I have been in such a shitty mood that I haven't been coming around here much, I just want to smash things, especially peoples faces and so of course I restrain myself, come home and beat myself up mentally when I can't put any of it on to paper. the other night I actually had an idea for a novel, which is something of a surprise...but let's remember I said 'an idea', I didn't actually get up and start writing..............hmm, that was this morning now that I think about it, around 5:30 or so.
sOoo...I was going through some shit earlier and I came across some writing I had completely forgot about, which is cool, I love it when I can read stuff that I completely forgot about and it seems so new and foreign, yet there it is in my own handwriting.
make the world a better place by signing my g/b
Sunday September 14, 2003 : 9:29pm
music: NWA
ok, I have so many things I want to do with sulfur, mostly just expand it and link it more, more portals and shit but I still have The FIFTH COLUMN that has been left idle after a rather pathetic start. and then there's the real world that I have to try and figure out how to organize. first thing I think I'll do is gut my wardrobe and throw a tonne of shit out: here come some hand-me-downs sis...
as of yet, no one has signed the hidden guestbook, leading me to believe that the full extent of the hidden pages has yet to be explored...sorry Chammy, keep lookin
Wednesday September 10, 2003 : 9:43pm
music: Buddy Holly
in my mind, I still see a colourful blur of images and I'm not quite able to grab on to anything in particular and say that that is how I am feeling. because how is one supposed to feel/act when they are betrayed, it really is something that you never get used to. there's that complacency in humans to just say what the fuck, why rock the boat and ignore it. yet, who I am was not created in such ways.
Saturday September 6, 2003 : 12:22am
music: radiohead
I've got to go to bed early tonight so I can get up and go shopping for my nephew's birthday before I head to work tomorrow.....
there, that's a half-assed update.
Sunday August 31, 2003 : 11:33pm
I recently got this quote in an email and thought I would share it with you considering shit that's gone down the past few months...
"Naturally the common people don't want war, but after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag people along whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to do the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same every country."
Hermann Goering, Hitler's Reich-Marshall, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, President of the Reichstag(April 18, 1946 at the Nuremberg Trials after WWII)
From:Gustave Gilbert, in his book Nuremberg Diary
Sunday August 31, 2003 : 1:42am
Its actually Saturday night, and I'm home because I fucked up my leg at work, well that's my excuse for tonight, not that I would be out if I was ok. I think I'll spend the night trying to figure out what should be the new mp3, it has not been changed for sometime.
Wednesday August 27, 2003 : 5:29pm
"So
this is permanence, love's shattered pride.
What once was innocence, turned on its side.
A cloud hangs over me, marks every move,
Deep in the memory, of what once was love. "
:Joy Division
Sunday August 24, 2003 : 11:59am
music : Roy Orbison
"wait a second...look, I've been trying to keep this whole thing in perspective, I mean, you just said you love me, now if I say I love you and just throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may and you're lying to me, I'm gonna fucking die..."
*******
I bought a book of poetry to read, just thought I'd stop in here to say hey. Selina..... you rock! thanks.
Thursday August 21, 2003 : 12:09am
music: Metric
yesterday I bought myself a new watch (called 'The Rocker' because I rock!) as well as a bunch of other stuff, it was a pretty awesome day.
but that's not why I am up so early, this morning I was dreaming about you
Wednesday August 20, 2003 : 3:22am
music: Love and Rockets (yet again)
lately I've been thinking I've been single for too long. I am probably the happiest I have ever been (on a consistent basis) yet there's that little something that's missing. thinking this immediately creates an internal argument....first: is this true....second: is it a good or bad thing.
yesterday someone at work asked me "why you don't have a beautiful girlfriend, you should have a beautiful girlfriend" I thought, fuck, ya, I should have a beautiful girlfriend.
the day before this conversation I declared to a friend, "I find beautiful girls so boring.... to look at, I mean."
***
here's a somewhat unrelated poem I wrote last month:
when
I walk
in serpentine slender
casting round spells
and pluck at the air
I know I can change a world
the honey-tongued women
who drip at the slightest notion of fear
fold like a torched library
this
