poetry by sean mckenzie

Poetry

I've been writing poetry on and off for over fifteen years now. Currently, I'm in one of those off periods so I decided I might as well do something with all my notebooks and created an archive with selected poems from each book.

enter the poetry archive - still under construction

Some things I scribbled in my notebook recently:

peels off of the distance
a fruit rollup horizon and I love her
she can read me like a dictionary
and rewrite me on cotton candy stationary

public library demonstrate
overdue dues to liberate
she redefines the fines with an apple dumpling smile
its not yet magic but I feel this heart turning retrograde

engine glow between my ears
whenever she nears
curiously at the pressure she peers
can’t quite recognize
my loathing and fear

spontaneous combustion
of all the theories in which I was trusting
of all the mistaken love I was lusting
of every check point of my defences
of every unrelenting sarcasm

it’s mean to melt in this way
I mean what I felt like to say
can’t quite write it
so it comes out in this way

some new muse
of my scribbling mind

dec.5.2003

************

I've seen so many flavours I couldn't define
and I'm not nearly fine
my emotional maturity is lagging behind
because I fall in love much too easily
my heart is mangled and measly
a beaten up piece of toast
and that's at most
it is a cobweb of ghost
that my own intellect keeps teasing

I am nowhere near
subtle retreat
falls in feet
I have all I never needed
regrets and truths are traded

the final outcome, heavily debated

Sept. 12, 2003

**************

I'm a drugged rat with hate on my face,
poorly disguised, can't quite pronounciate
broken english is my fate
I'm fat on deflate
spoken like a sports car
we've gone too far with this delegate
some stooped politician needs to regulate
the soup I'm gonna stipulate
sip and freebase
ingestions in any way
fancy idols replaced
always missed by a day
I'm a colleague slash inmate with my fingers wrapped around the gate
put it up, put me away
cutting up a dusty trace
I'm still sucking face with political ingrates
try to buy me off with a little taste
but why wouldn't I buy the cow.

I'm a drugged rat with hate on my face,
spread right out on cellophane,
trying to combat the next brain drain.
elementary school found new grounds
new school grounds
a new ground
on which to expound

why wouldn't I fly the sow

September 4, 2003

********

its cold inside
but no matter the escape
I always feel blank
it rains in all directions
collects in the gutters of my heart
spent desires are strewn there
fibre less
unholy mess
of quietness
I can't stand it

its old inside
in the burnt part
where my heart has died
and I try to cover it up
with poorly nourished lies
I can't withstand it

I fled from that gorgeous heart of yours
because I thought I loved someone more than you
it is that filthy truth
on which my life is standing

August 23, 2003

********

I try to keep away from living
the way I do in sleep
sometimes I have a good handle
and solid ground beneath
sometimes it's all I can do to stop from weeping

on the peripheral of my heart
away from the universe
I gave secret births

August 22, 2003

*****

dreams escape on fragile fingers
just how they came.
parked in melodies,
my thoughts feel different,
not really my own
and I feel alone
even though I'm still with myself
and isn't that supposed to be worth something

memories escape in dreams
lost in the blurred seams
I can't tell the difference anymore
between what was and what I wanted it to be
all things with meaning
must be watered down
for human consumption
when all we want is the pure thing
how it existed when
we kissed and.....

all we want is to prove and flaunt
that someone loved us
it seems so monumental and human
when dreams deflate along the way
and memories are freebased day after day

August 20, 2003

*********

dancing in the in between
hiding in the glare of where
we are rarely seen
this thing could challenge bigger principles
it sure does
make me feel invincible, shiver
just a hand on you
because I never could forgive her
lay posthumously
stripped of sexual nature
like celibacy is the cure I was looking for
only someone else to ignore
a glowing smile that pours

obsessive heart that will never bore of me
but that's some intellectual bleeding
and optimism is only
evidence of masochism
my decadence of irrelevance, self-importance

once broken down,
resurrected
a good-for-nothing,
I had to have it

June 27, 2003

******

No Floor

a frequent betrayal
slides its fingers
behind ears, straightening
such frightening hair
in denial

the relationship of part-time
sad discourse
I didn't think it would turn for the worse

A grand gesture rehearsed and reused,
to paint with hands a mirrored refusal
tight lipped and cuffed, grazed / glazed head
robbed of any innocence
climbed in
in insolence
and tore off bitten flesh
across our bed

you're no good for me
beat me to it
call of genius in bedside letters,
spent a fortune speaking
and it's safe to say,
incite and entice
a broken heart
a bit of a broken part
trying to fit into who we are

each pretty piece of conceit
too afraid to surface from onion depths
shallow inconvenience
of being alone and looking at no one else

April 21, 2003

********

throwing a brick
through the window
of my soul
and looting

permanent and reckless
driven to the dull edge
of insignificance
boyhood glances at things I wanted
could never decipher
ruthless behaviour
shudder to think of the ways
in which we made it

you took me back
as a favour,
arms as sexual as a school teacher
it was nothing for you
to cover up the bruise
wild hair slashing
your face with each turn
to scold and learn
the difference of secrets,
well hidden

April 21, 2003

**********

sad sensation
daily bread
eaten slowly
but never savoured

slight decline
in the primitive ways
in which we're favoured

technical leaps
sent down to inspire
but only ridicule
the fruits of our labour

April 25, 2003

*********