BERT
(Touch my Bum)

We're not sure which team Bertums is with right now as he's been making his way around the NHL.  He's been traded like 5 times since he left Vancouver, and has been banished to the minors by every team.  Called a "Denise the Menace" by a former play-by-play announcer, Bert was able to gain fans in Vancouver even without much playing time.  The first time any of us met Bert was at the 1998 Canucks Carnival. Jodi got his autograph, but he didn't have time to sign Pam's because he was on his way to air hockey.  Jennie got his autograph while he was playing air hockey, and then, when he went the the picture booth, he touched her BUM while they were getting their picture taken together!