Short and Sweet:

Tips for living the abundant life


Tilting at the Marriage Windmill

My car has the delightful tendency to break down, when it is most inconvenient financially and socially. As a result, Iíve had the privilege of becoming good friends with Cec Kerr of Cec Kerr Automotive who massages my car back into life. In a recent visit to Cecís shop, I told him that I was writing a Deep Cove Crier article on Don Quixote. Cec chuckled and said: "Wasnít that the guy that tilted at windmills?

"As a child, I read a comic book version of Don Quixote, and concluded that he was a total fool to go chasing after windmills. A quarter of a century later, Iíve observed that many of us as adults end up chasing after windmills in business, politics, relationships, or sports. One of those windmills is twisting ourselves into a knot, trying to have the perfect marriage relationship. Anne Wilson Shaef, a well-known 12-Step writer, comments that relationships are always better in the abstract, and that reality is the stuff that ruins what dreams are made of. Her counsel is that when we let go of what marriage should be and let marriage be what it is, we can have a chance for marriage to be what it can be.

My wife and I went to a Marriage Encounter weekend a number of years ago, and have since written each other hundreds of letters, sharing our feelings about our daily joys and challenges. We both feel that this method of written dialogue has been a tremendous benefit in bringing greater sensitivity and communication in our 19-year old marriage. One of the most powerful metaphors used in the Marriage Encounter weekend is in the exploration of the relationship between Don Quixote and Dulcinea.

Why does marriage, even the thought of it, so often make us feel so inadequate and even overwhelmed? Click to find out...

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Contact Rev. Ed Hird 
St. Simon's Anglican Church 
North Vancouver, B.C.