-an article for the North Shore News ‘Spiritually Speaking’ column
Best-selling author Dr. Gary Smalley was speaking in Greater Vancouver about the keys to successful relationships. I love hearing a powerful author-speaker in person. It somehow adds extra umph to the pleasure of reading their book. One of the real privileges on living in a world-class city like Greater Vancouver is that the vast majority of gifted speaker/authors will make a local appearance from time to time.
Dr. Smalley shared in his seminar about the ‘dance that destroys relationships’, how we push each other’s fear buttons without even trying. In his award-winning book ‘The DNA of Relationships’, Dr. Smalley teaches how couples can learn to create a safe environment for intimacy to develop. One of the keys is what he calls “The Power of One”, choosing to take personal responsibility for one’s own actions. So often in relationships, we can slip into pointing the finger and judging, instead of ‘fessing up’.
Another key in creating intimacy is self-care, what Dr. Smalley calls ‘keeping your batteries charged.’ So often couples run close to empty, driving themselves to exhaustion and relational shutdown. Relearning the ancient Hebrew rhythms of Sabbath and rest are indispensable in our frantic, go-go-go culture.
Another key Dr. Smalley recommends is learning to listen with the heart. He believes that when we add safety and curiosity in one another, intimacy will be ignited.
Hearing Dr. Smalley made me realize that these keys are equally important in developing our relationship with God. Many Canadians find it hard to find a safe place where they can ask questions about the meaning of life. No one wants things shoved down their throat. Many Canadians have been taught that spiritual concerns are almost taboo to talk about. Yet they are still curious about who God is, and what difference God might make in their lives.
That is why I am so grateful for the National Alpha Invitation 2007. All across the North Shore and Canada, thousands of churches from every denomination are offering a 10-week course where people can explore the meaning of life for themselves. In Alpha, no one is told what to believe. Rather they are invited to find out what is true for them. Alpha is curiously safe, a place where you can be yourself.
To find out more, call 778-772-5464 or 604-638-7792, or e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org
The Reverend Ed Hird
Rector, St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver, BC
Anglican Coalition in
The 'It's a New Day' TV station http://www.newday.org/ (March 23rd), and
the Miracle Channel TV station http://www.miraclechannel.ca/ (Feb 15th)
have all recently done interviews about the 'Battle for the Soul of
Canada' book. The Feb 1st '100 Huntley Street' interview can be viewed
online by clicking on
You may wish to watch Dr. JI Packer's TV interview in which he endorses
the book "Battle for the Soul of Canada"
Both the long and short versions of this interview are at this location
YouTube has the short version of the Dr JI Packer interview at
To purchase a copy of 'Battle for the Soul of Canada' for yourself or
others, just send a cheque for $15 (plus $3.50 Shipping and Handling
(Canadian S&H*) to the Rev. Ed Hird, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North
Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7
* By surface to the USA, the total cost for the book plus S&H would be
$20.00 USD. Checks can only be accepted from USA, England and Canada.
All others need to send bank drafts.