I am here to help! I dont mean to boast, but I have an advanced degree in the LOCAL CHURCHESE language. I have a P.H.D. (Personal Helper in local church Dialect)
I am here to provide my service as a TRANSLATOR for all of you on this forum free of charge!
Here is how my translation service will work: You provide me with a word or phrase that was spoken to you in LOCAL CHURCHESE. I will then provide an accurate translation into PLAIN ENGLISH! How cool is that!
I have provided some sample translations for your review:
LOCAL CHURCHESE STATEMENT:
The Local Churches warmly welcome you. (Per their website)
TRANSLATED INTO PLAIN ENGLISH: (What they really mean and practice)
The Local Churches welcome you. to stop meeting with other Christians and meet only with us. Cease all contact with other Christians, even if they are close family members, unless it is for the purpose to get them into the Church. Treat all other Christians like they are blind, poor, ignorant and uninformed. You must realize that, after all, they are in their mind and not in the spirit. Whatever you do, DO NOT have genuine, honest and open fellowship with any other Christians, as they might just poison you, and then your hair might catch on fire.
LOCAL CHURCHESE STATEMENT:
We in the Local Churches are the most orthodox of Christians. We believe in the exact same Gospel as you do!
TRANSLATED INTO PLAIN ENGLISH (What they really mean and practice)
We in the Local Churches think the rest of you Christians have been getting it all wrong for 2000 years now. All your teachings are dead teachings of doctrine. We, in the Local Church have all the riches and all the light. You must meet with us to receive these riches and light. We believe that Jesus died for our sins, rose from the dead and gave us His Sprit, however, this is just a kind of a lower gospel, not the complete divine revelation. You are just a baby Christian if you only have this as your gospel. We have the complete gospel. Witness Lee has completed the Divine revelation for us, and you must get into this Devine revelation to have the complete gospel. If you do not accept and agree with EVERY iota of this revelation, you will remain an immature baby.
LOCAL CHURCHESE STATEMENT:
We believe in the Holy Trinity, JUST like you!
TRANSLATED INTO PLAIN ENGLISH (What they really mean and practice)
Your version of the Trinity is pitiful. You need to come and learn our version of the Triune God. The bible does not actual say this, however God is now a processed God. He was processed just like we process food. We will tell other Christians and new ones that we teach the Trinity just as it is in the evangelical churches, however once your in the Church you MUST be prepared to defend the Local Church version of the Trinity by memorizing certain hallmark verses (even if they are used out of context) that appear to back up Witness Lees non-conventional, extra-biblical way of explaining the Trinity.
LOCAL CHURCHESE STATEMENT:
The ground of the Church is simply the biblical principle of all the Christians in one city meeting together to be the practical expression of the Church in that city! Our oneness is Christ!
TRANSLATED INTO PLAIN ENGLISH (What they really mean and practice)
The ground of the Church IS THE PERSON AND WORK OF WITNESS LEE. PERIOD. It really does not matter if there are numerous churches in one city, so long as the elders and members follow the Living Stream Ministry to a tee. (In fact we have had several halls in larger cities, which are actually churches in and of themselves, but thats ok because therere ALL Witness Lee Local Churches.) So all the hoopla about keeping the oneness by practicing the holy ground of the Church is really a cover for the FACT the church in Los Angeles is really just The Local Church of Witness Lee meeting in Los Angeles.