Limes with Orange

I noticed that someone landed on my blog searching for the meaning of the Blue October song "Ugly Side" (sample). Although on the one hand I think the general meaning is self-evident, I decided to write about it because the specific lyrics might seem a little odd to some people.

Ugly Side lyrics:

I must have sneezed
On knees I freeze
I mean I just choked up
Somehow I slept
I dream, I mean
I dreamt of nothing
Able to breathe
A sweet relief
Now that you're here with me
A northern degree
Dove into me
Now I'm recovering

[Chorus]
I only want you to see
My favorite part of me
And not my ugly side
Not my ugly side

Hook up a C.B. Wave a way
For conversation flow
I'm shoved in your cave, to wage this rage
Don't let me go
A kick and a scream is all that seems
To mean a lot thus far
I won't let you on my stage, my page
You can't know
Yet you have to know

[Chorus]

So calm... and now it's dark
I look for you to light my heart
I'm in between the moon and where you are
I know... I can't be far

The most general interpretation is simply how hard it is to share your those parts of yourself that you don't like with someone that you actually want to share your whole self with. More specifically, I believe it relates to Justin Furstenfeld's history with drugs, his recovery and his ardent desire not to have to share that part of his past and himself with someone he's starting a new relationship with.

As for specific phrases that may or not make grammatical sense… I say don't analyze that stuff too deeply. It's poetry. It elicits an emotional reaction of confusion and melancholy and fear and love. In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg writes:

"The aim is to burn through to first thoughts... to the place where you are writing what your mind actually sees and feels, not what it thinks it should see and feel. It's a great opportunity to capture the oddities of your mind. Explore the rugged edge of thought."

I believe these lyrics are definitely the stuff of "first thoughts." Not to say that I don't have my ideas about what Justin means in certain phrases, but I'm more concerned with what he's feeling and how he makes me feel. So my advice is not to try to deconstruct the song, just feel it.

P.S. Blue October is coming to Calgary!!!!! They'll be playing at Mac Hall on April 7. Get your tickets soon. I know I will!

Labels: music, poetry, pop culture