Limes with Orange

This post is for all of my well-meaning friends and family who made my holidays miserable. I have health problems. Most of my friends and family should know that fact by now. Not minor health problems, either, but stuff that affects me every single day in a significant way.

Driving, even in the best of weather, is tiring for me. I hate that fact because I love to drive, but I have had to accept that it drains me. And driving in bad weather obviously makes it worse. Since I only have chunks of energy that last for about two hours, if you (and I speak to the general "you", no one person in particular)... so if you want me to be present at an event that will be longer than one hour (which most holiday functions are) perhaps you could offer me a ride and not just be upset when I honestly say that I'm not up to it.

If you tell me that I can call you any time I need medication or other items picked up from the store, don't be surprised when I take you up on it. And please don't make it sound like I've inconvenienced you, because that's why I didn't want to call you in the first place. But you insisted that you wanted to help out and I foolishly believed you.

I'm sorry that I'm still grieving the loss of my cat. And I'm sorry that I'm having a hard time dealing with my first Christmas since my grandmother died and an even harder time watching my grandfather cope with this Christmas. I don't have much of a reserve to begin with and all of that grief leaves me with nothing left. I did tell everyone that I didn't want to do the holiday thing except for spending Christmas Day with my grandfather, so why are you so upset with me that I did what I said?

This is a marathon I'm running, people, not a sprint. I don't get a day off from it. So I'm sorry if I can't be all sweetness and light and accommodate everybody, but you all seem to think it's a sprint and we should have passed the finish line already. But I will never live to pass the finish line unless they find a cure for lupus, sjögrens and chronic migraines. So you guys go on home and pop your champagne, your sprint is done. I'll just keep limping along in my solitary marathon. I had a feeling I was out there all alone. Now I know for sure.

Labels: health, rant, special days