You know you watch too much when...

• Six hours no longer seems like a long time.
• You begin to wonder why all movies are not six episodes long.
• You have memorized where the commercial breaks come as well as the order of the commercials in each break.
• On a recent visit to a local lake, you were inspired to dive in and go swimming fully clothed.
• Your relatives and friends no longer think that you are strange for asking them to call you "Lizzy".
• You sing along with the background music.
• You find ways to quote Pride and Prejudice in daily life: "That shirt is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me."
• After hours of studying the dance scenes, you held a party and forced all your friends to learn the dance steps so that you could pretend to be Lizzy at the Netherfield Ball.
• You are saving up money to go to England to visit the filming locations.
• You made a special trip to England last year just to visit the filming locations.
• You think of time in terms of the number of Pride and Prejudice episodes you could watch in that amount of time. For example: "I’ll see you in four episodes" = "I’ll see you in four hours."
• You have pets and stuffed toys named Lizzy and Darcy.
• Right after you splurged and bought the P&P video boxed set, you made two copies of it. The original videotapes are now in your display case (along with all your other precious objects and silverware), one copy is at your relative's house in case of a fire, and the third copy is for your daily viewing.
• Others refuse to watch P&P with you because they find your habit of reciting the whole movie in unison with the actors annoying.
• Even though you have never lived in Britain, you now regularly speak with a British accent.
• You find yourself often saying that you are "excessively diverted", "quite put out" or "most seriously displeased".
• You dance along with Lizzy and Darcy every time you watch the Netherfield Ball scene.
• You have played the whole movie in slow motion to prolong the ecstasy of watching the movie. (Unfortunately, the music and the sound doesn't work on slow motion so you don't do this very often.)
• You commonly use the "frame-by-frame" advance function on your VCR so that you don't miss any miniscule detail of your favourite scenes.
• Upon discovering that some characters wear their costumes more than once in different parts of the movie, you were inspired to draw up a large table in order to search for possible correlations between the costume worn and the mood of the character.
• You have drawn maps and layout plans of the rooms and the buildings in the movie. Here's a neat one.
• You searched everywhere for a script of the movie and finally wrote your own (by studying each scene in detail) when you couldn't find one. With your new script in hand, you often recruit all your friends and force them to be a part of your P&P play while you simultaneously star as Lizzy (or Darcy) and direct it so that it matches the movie exactly.
• You special ordered a CD so you can listen to "Mr. Beveridge's Maggot" (over and over again) even when not watching the Netherfield Ball scene (eg. in the car, on the bus, while washing dishes, on the airplane, while taking a walk, while going for a jog, while vacuuming the house, while painting a fence....)
• You own two copies of Pride and Prejudice - one for the bedside, and one for downstairs reading.
• You own three copies of The Making of Pride and Prejudice - one for the beside, one for downstairs reading, and an extra copy in case either of them gets lost.
• You giggle whenever you see Mrs. Bennet or Mr. Collins, before they even open their mouths.
• When something goes wrong, you find yourself shouting "Other way Mr. Collins!"

As you can see, this list is far from complete. Your contributions are welcome! Please e-mail them to me.

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